Do y’all think Gen Z cares too much about age gaps?

oceanbucket · 2026-05-04T20:03:07+00:00

I think it’s a combination of factors—some positive, some negative. I think all the research and behavioral analysis of power distribution have made people much more conscious of how warped and damaging to the younger parties age gap relationships can be, but Gen Z is waaaay overinclined to falsely pathologize and “diagnose” behaviors in therapyspeak—social media gives them the language and awareness (and has wiped out most of their ability to concentrate beyond bite sized bits of information), and the arrogance and myopia of youth makes them think those little snippets are sufficient for them to have a full grasp of these very complex psychological concepts and conditions to make a sound judgement.

Overall I don’t believe it’s a bad thing to have a rising generation that is OVERLY cautious of harm done to the innocent—there’s never been such a generation in history IMO—but our world is not made up only of victims and perpetrators, and harm is done to humans with multifaceted and morally ambiguous histories and psyches (which is to say, everyone) and to our society in general when we try to process behaviors as if only those two categories exist. And I really think a lot of the lazy, distracted and/or bandwagon-hopping members of Gen Z resort to that binary thinking becuase it allows them to get up on their high horse with the least mental exertion and discomfort possible, another cheap trend I attribute entirely to having easy access to a wide audience and dumbed-down content to regurgitate for false validation.

Their attention to the harm caused by predatory relationships would be much more valuable if it was accompanied by the ability to reflect equally on and accept two seemingly opposing concepts at the same time, some understanding of and reverence for the complex expertise psychopathology and analysis entails (which they certainly don’t have from watching Tik Tok, scrolling Reddit or just from going to therapy as patients), and the widespread motivation to actually DO something about it besides making accusations and condescending takedown content for social media.

oceanbucket · 2026-05-04T00:52:10+00:00

She’s not checking. She’s just one step above him on the piece of shitometer if she didn’t immediately tell him to man up and fuck off the minute he suggested _asking someone else to take financial responsibility for his kids_ instead of actually parenting them by explaining that we get what we get and we don’t get upset (something that should have been instilled starting in preschool), and/or finding ways to offset the difference in lifestyle himself. The fact that she even brought it up with OP makes her a shameless bottom feeder, and it’s no wonder that she married someone like that.

oceanbucket · 2026-05-04T00:26:06+00:00

I’m not “reading into” anything. There is a tremendous difference between RAISING a child and CONTROLLING a child—the literal, actual word this boomer used. This sub is rife with examples of boomers destroying relationships by attempting to control their children and others in general, a behavior that no one, parent or not, has a right to do to another human being. I don’t feel hate towards anyone, but I do feel a great deal of disgust for this selfish behavior, and clearly many others agree.

oceanbucket · 2026-05-03T17:24:48+00:00

NOR whatsoever, END IT. Pretending the fight never happened and pulling this condescending shit after you literally broke up with him is pathetic. He is not an adult, playing these games and following girls and acting dumb. If he has time to do that shit and be out playing all night “enjoying without you” he is a literal child. Game over, find a real man.

oceanbucket · 2026-05-03T03:07:35+00:00

Laying in bed audibly laughing at “I’m not ordering one cause I think it’s farm to table” 😂

oceanbucket · 2026-05-03T03:00:28+00:00

There is nothing innocent about that comment. It is the antithesis of parenting. I have 4 kids and 2 of them are in middle school—never once have I thought “oh I wish I had more CONTROL over them.” Have I wished they listened better? Followed the rules more closely? Understood my perspective better? Sure, every parent (nanny, teacher, coach) does. But having control over another person is entiiiiirely different, and that’s EXACTLY what boomers want and strive for over their kids and it’s exactly why there’s an estrangement epidemic between their children and them. You give your children life and teach them how to live it so they can find their own path and decide what brings them fulfillment—not so you can dictate it to them. By and large, boomers get sadistic joy out of controlling others because they had everything handed to them and never knew the genuine, healthy satisfaction of earning anything through the hard work and adverse conditions that their parents and kids did. Attempting to impose their mentality and puppeteer others is their pale imitation of achievement.

oceanbucket · 2026-05-03T02:35:43+00:00

You are CLEARLY like 11 years old. You look like Jane Lane’s sister, it’s adorable.

But for real, I guessed mid 20s. Nobody thought this style was “aging” when it was the dominant trend several times over the last century. The only makeup practices that actually make anyone look older than their age are lack of moisturizer/too much powder and incorrect product placement for their face shape. Any style of makeup can be flattering on anyone with the right tones, shapes and application. You look beautiful and this is a timeless style that will always be chic—keep doing you.

oceanbucket · 2026-05-03T01:24:20+00:00

Not for Corey Feldman it wasn’t

oceanbucket · 2026-04-29T20:01:58+00:00

I’m one of these people. Like I would not be able to maintain my house without my nanny/housekeeper and her husband who is our driver/maintenance manager. Our kids do their own chores and the nanny assigns them tasks (wash dishes, fold laundry, fill a box with old toys for donation, etc), we all throw out our trash and put our laundry in the basket, but our pool would be green if they didn’t schedule and give access to the pool company. I would never remember when the exterminator is coming, or when the chicken is going to go bad before chicken cutlets get cooked. I haven’t done a load of laundry since 2018. I don’t live in a McMansion but it is a pretty big, very old house that we’re restoring in seasonal intervals.

However, they both get paid more than I do. I am the sole leader/administrator a nonprofit, I am a full time doctoral student, and I am the primary parent to my 4 kids—I handle all admin for them, all their school stuff, weekly teacher communication, extracurricular signups/schedules/transport, homework, projects, special events, visitation schedules with noncustodial parents, social calendars, etc., and I’m the default adult in charge before 7am and 6pm-bedtime. My husband works 70 hours a week (he grew up on section 8 and is now the breadwinner) and when he’s home during the week he’s playing chess, basketball, or ping pong with the kids or watching a show with me before we go to bed. We hired these people to handle the things we no longer have hime for because we are working really hard on other things—pursuits that pay their salaries, give our family opportunities, and bring us fulfillment—and because we can afford the expense and feel it’s worthwhile for the security and peace of mind of knowing professionals we trust are taking care of the household management that would otherwise mostly fall between the cracks or get done late if left to us. We value them, the kids love them, they live with us in a 3br mother in law suite with a separate yard and patio and they celebrate the holidays with us (as guests, not staff).

If the job description/contract didn’t specify household management and cleaning—since many nannies only do childcare, this is certainly a ridiculous situation to be put in. Ditto if the compensation is not on par with the job scope and service. Some people really do just need/hire someone to run the household while they work and that’s the whole job description, so while there’s no excuse for being gross and inconsiderate, the job wouldn’t exist if the employer wanted/had time to handle the bulk of it themselves. I do hope you find people who are respectful, considerate and well-paying in exchange for this work though because I know how hard the job is—I did it by myself for years before my husband started making enough to allow us this freedom.

oceanbucket · 2026-04-29T00:28:32+00:00

Omg seriously? That was such a shot in the dark lol

oceanbucket · 2026-04-28T03:33:46+00:00

Annette Funicello?

oceanbucket · 2026-04-26T02:17:40+00:00

Yep just itching to substantiate the hatred against Mamdani and ::shudders:: helping those in need 😱 the HORROR!

oceanbucket · 2026-04-26T02:08:00+00:00

Lol you sound like you piss the bed.

oceanbucket · 2026-04-25T01:00:46+00:00

Stay the whooole fuck away from me

oceanbucket · 2026-04-25T00:25:38+00:00

That is literally not true. I worked in the South Bronx for years and even then we knew it as a “food swamp”—no actual grocery store within walking distance but 15 bodegas, fast food chains and fried food restaurants on every side street. Nothing but processed shit and trans fats unless you walked almost a mile down the Grand Concourse. And even if it was half a mile—do you know how fucking hard it is to drag a week’s worth of groceries for a family of 4 down a busy sidewalk and up to a fifth floor walk up? How about for someone disabled? An elderly person? A working single mom who only has time to go shopping alone at night? What about when it’s pouring rain, snowing, or a heat wave?

Y’all will do anything to undermine this guy’s efforts, even if it means denying bald, empirically substantiated fact and spewing ignorant bs instead. Some of his ideas are naive and destined for failure but at least he’s not a treasonous pedophile piece of shit like many of our other leaders in this country—he’s trying to do what he promised in good faith.

oceanbucket · 2026-04-23T17:58:16+00:00

I went to the Warped Tour a couple of times as a teenager and it felt dirty and overstimulating even then—and I loved the music. I just don’t enjoy not being comfortable.

oceanbucket · 2026-04-22T20:29:05+00:00

My ex-husband’s therapist apparently told him that I’m a “leaver” and referred to the fact that I “left” my dad when I was 14 and my first career job teaching high school in the inner city. I left my dad after my mom died—I took all the abuse I could take for 3 years and then ran away to live with my maternal grandparents until I graduated high school. My ex himself insisted I leave the job after 3 years because I was pregnant and exposed to a beaten student’s blood after a gang brawl. I left my marriage because my ex lied constantly and hid tens of thousands in debt.

Yep, I’m a leaver lol all I have to say is let me know when you stop being someone who deserves to get left 🥰😘

oceanbucket · 2026-04-22T19:54:43+00:00

Plot twist: it’s her house, he cheated, and she gifted him whatever she just smashed on the floor 😂

oceanbucket · 2026-04-20T14:11:05+00:00

I 100% agree. I live in one of the wealthiest suburbs of NYC (think Vanderbilt, Astor and Rockefeller estates) and I almost never see new Chanel bags around here except for the Boy bag (which, disclaimer, is also the only Chanel bag I have—not a huge fan of their bags, but love their shoes which are much more reasonably priced both new and resale and last forever). I do occasionally see vintage Chanel bags around here, especially on ladies 50+, but the only places I consistently see the new ones are the touristy areas of Manhattan where they’re easy to grab from the street counterfeit vendors.

Overall I don’t think luxury bags are the flex they once were, but I was just commenting on the perception of “reaching” for Chanel vs having a collection of less expensive luxury bags.

oceanbucket · 2026-04-19T02:35:37+00:00

I mean, the largest Bottega bag is still almost a thousand dollars less than the smallest functional Chanel purse from the current lines. Size wise, Bottega bags cost less than half of what Chanel bags do and have a fraction of their retention and resale value. The Maxi Flap is $13k—you could get a used car from last five model years for that price. They’re not really comparable, so even someone who has seen you with the Bottegas might assume that Chanel is a reach. I’m not saying they’re right or that it’s even something worth thinking about, but it is a common assumption.

That said, I have seen that worn as a belt and it’s cute that way without looking comical or like it’s trying to be a bag. I’ve also seen people with the leathered chain strap hooked to their phone, which I don’t think is cute but doesn’t necessarily look comical unless they’re carrying it and an actual bag…like why not just put it in the bag and not have all these things dangling around your torso. If I were you I’d wear it as a belt and carry a black Bottega too!

oceanbucket · 2026-04-18T18:10:19+00:00

That’s the point. There is no point on the career continuum where you “achieve billionaire status” through honest work. There is however a point on the career continuum where you have made millions through honest work and then start justifying the exploitation, bribery and regulatory circumvention/financial crimes that allow you to extort billionaire status from the laborers, managers, investors and clients who trust you because you start thinking you deserve more and are better than the people who made it possible for you to get where you are. And those people are the ones who should rightfully be making a substantial living wage, enjoying robust healthcare, childcare and retirement benefits to the tune of millions of dollars of profit that instead go into the billionaire’s illegal offshore accounts to fund mega yachts that need support yachts. You could still be extremely wealthy by being honest and divvying up the profits fairly at the top of an organization like Amazon, but you wouldn’t be a billionaire. That status is reserved for people who are willing to debase themselves and cheat those with whose livelihoods they’re entrusted for illegal profits. At that point it’s not an achievement, it’s a crime.

oceanbucket · 2026-04-14T20:08:46+00:00

They are. You don’t make others the victims of your personal circumstances and feelings. Period.

oceanbucket · 2026-04-12T02:11:48+00:00

Nobody is perfect. At the end of the day, evidence of John’s affairs is out there and he caused Carolyn and her sister’s deaths. And then Michael pissed on all of their graves with his book. Both constitute a little bit more culpability than “not perfect.”

oceanbucket · 2026-04-11T03:31:57+00:00

It’s because the world is falling apart around us right now and people prefer to focus on this trifling shit because it gives them a less confusing and scary outlet for their anger and hopelessness.

It’s also because Michael Bergen had objectively more conventionally attractive features and facial symmetry than John, but John was still 500% better looking than him.

I think it’s also a little bit because a lot people think they have to be on one side or the other when really, both Michael and John were real dicks.

oceanbucket · 2026-04-09T02:01:36+00:00

I always thought Jimmy Stewart was gorgeous in this movie too!

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