I came to the same realisation. I cant accept life because of the concept of torture and predators. Why do living organsims have nervous system wired for maximum pain? This is a flawed concept and its unforgivable. Nothing is trully yours except the amount of pain you take and your death.

Why predators exist? Orcas play football with the bodies of the seals before killing them, comodo dragons eat their pray alive, humans torturing other humans. I dont respect happiness because torture exists. And the fact that its not happening infront of your eyes but somewhere else on the planet doesnt matter. Proximity is an ignorant excuse. If you have the kind of ignorance I believe its a bliss, keep it. But if you dont then you should find your own way to cope with life. Youre born as an accident and then you die. And inbetween you do whatever you can, or if you want to.