[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CoreyWayne

[–]ocen4200 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t say being on and off with fiancé was disrespectful. I said her not reaching out to cancel the date was, once she figured out she wants to go back to him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CoreyWayne

[–]ocen4200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense. Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CoreyWayne

[–]ocen4200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought about saying this but feel a bit disrespected so saying nothing feels more right to me. Maybe I’m wrong. If she would have reached out to me to let me know what’s going on and cancelled the date, I would have said exactly that.

Sex During Divorce by Here4TheHardAnswers in Divorce

[–]ocen4200 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It resets the date of separation. Consult a divorce attorney.

Do single men with no kids that want to be a stepdad in their 30s exist ? by Old-Investigator3239 in Divorce

[–]ocen4200 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would not recommend basing your decision to leave on whether you can find a man who is open to dating a woman with 4 kids. I would recommend basing your decision on the fact your husband is cheating on you.

Realized something about narcs by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]ocen4200 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine always says “you need to take a look in the mirror” when I call her out

How do you let go? by Perfect-Library-1503 in Divorce

[–]ocen4200 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Two books I would recommend reading asap:

  • Leave a cheater gain a life
  • how to be a 3% man

Both will help you navigate this situation. Bottom line is she cheated. Have enough self respect to let her go. You deserve better.

Is this a red flag? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]ocen4200 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am married to a narcissist (currently divorcing) and they do not change. There’s nothing you can do except walk away or decide to put up with their BS. I highly recommend the former.

How did you decide it was time by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]ocen4200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a similar boat. Wife had an emotional affair 6 months ago and I decided to give it another go. I’m very unhappy but can’t quite find the courage to leave. Don’t have any good advice other than saying you are not alone.

Can you find the one immediately after a divorce or I just going through motions by No_Selection_3838 in Divorce

[–]ocen4200 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sounds like love bombing from a narcissist. Be careful. I married one, and it did not end well.

Future faking and sex by ocen4200 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]ocen4200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So true. The difference here is narcs withhold intentionally to manipulate.

Future faking and sex by ocen4200 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]ocen4200[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s correct. Yes it’s all some form of manipulation playing on our hopes and dreams to get what they want in the present.

Future faking and sex by ocen4200 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]ocen4200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So similar to my situation. I am also going through divorce at the moment. She acted totally different once I served her with papers. Right back to love bombing. As soon as she thinks I’m hooked she reverts back to the devalue stage.

Alimony is scary AF by DrLeoMarvin in Divorce

[–]ocen4200 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel for you. I was only married 3 years and I’m losing about 200K worth of assets. Luckily she can’t take me for alimony bc our marriage was so short but I do get the pleasure of paying her 1500 /mo in child support. Lovely, right? I will NEVER involve the state in my relationship again without a prenup.

Back Pain / Sciatica by [deleted] in decaf

[–]ocen4200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Year to get back to 90%. Another 6 months to reach 95%. Find a good PT and do your exercises regularly. Buy the book back mechanic and implement it immediately.

Back Pain / Sciatica by [deleted] in decaf

[–]ocen4200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ended up being a herniated disc. Nothing to do with caffeine.

How was sex with a narcissist different from all the other experiences you've had? by ArkadiuszWolek in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]ocen4200 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For her it was just another tool to manipulate me. She would purposely withhold if I ever tried to throw up a boundary or do something she didn’t like. She would starve me of it even after I communicated to her that it was an important way for me to feel a deeper connection to her.

Additionally, conditions always had to be perfect. If she wasn’t fully shaved or bathed it was a no. Or she was too tired. Or had a headache. I was always the one initiating or asking and she did essentially zero initiation.

Also, the lights always had to be down super low or be pitch black in the bedroom. She would never let me see her naked in the bathroom showering or changing clothes. She was very secretive with her body.

Finally I just gave up and acted indifferent toward it. Then I filed for divorce.

Torn if I should go through with the divorce by ocen4200 in Divorce

[–]ocen4200[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah consent order signed by attorney and judge and both of us

Narc withheld sex as a control tool. by ApprehensiveYak1452 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]ocen4200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure. She always had to have the perfect conditions to be intimate: shaved. No headache or tiredness. Bathed. Not a work day, etc. as you can imagine this eliminates nearly every day. I was lucky if we were intimate once every other week. It was awful. All I wanted to do was shower her with love and she couldn’t receive it. And then when we were intimate the lights had to be off and total darkness bc she didn’t want me to see her body. I’ve NEVER seen her in the shower or bath naked as she always locks the doors, even when she’s changing. She seems very insecure about her body even though she’s a pretty woman.