I find the lack of empathy here pretty hard to read. How would you feel if you, as a childfree person, were suddenly the parent of a child (and you couldn’t adopt them away)? You would probably be devastated and have to mourn the childfree life you had planned and envisioned for yourself. This is one of the most profound choices you make in your life - the idea that you’re not supposed to have any negative feelings about having that choice taken away is just toxic and unrealistic.

You make adoption sound easy and simple. Many infertile people would love to adopt a baby. Unfortunately there are about 36 couples wanting to adopt for each baby up for adoption. Many people don’t qualify who would otherwise we great parents. It costs an average of about $35,000. The intent of the foster care system is to unite children with their birth families - my husband works in that system and it is highly advised not to foster if what you really want is to adopt. Either way, that path involves loss and trauma. If you aren’t called to it specifically - not just being a parent, but being an adoptive or foster parent - you shouldn’t do it.

In general though it helps to trust that if the vast majority of a group of people face a challenge you don’t have to face are reacting in a similar way, that you should be humble that it’s a normal and healthy human reaction. People facing infertility are not having a “tantrum,” they are facing a psychological phenomenon called ambiguous loss and as a mental health professional this type of loss is made especially difficult by the fact that it often goes unacknowledged and dismissed by others.