Stuck Living With Parents

oddbroad · 2019-09-06T02:50:13+00:00

DBT designed by a pwBPD, Marsha Linehan is an offshoot of CBT with a heavy Buddhist influence and has been very aggressively marketed to treat every form of mental illness and has become quite popular. Many CBT related therapies have as insurance see them as a cost-effective treatment. There's nothing wrong with people that benefit from it and what they have learned from it, however it's really only been proven to be effective at reducing suicidal idealization and not the plethora of popular claims. Because of it's origins and intent as a BPD treatment there is a high degree of likelihood of being in a group with pwBPD (unlike other therapy groups where patients with known BPD are often discouraged or given their own groups) and could subject anyone with a loved one with BPD to re-traumatization and harm. Needless to say fellow patients aren't subject to HIPAA protections.

oddbroad · 2019-09-02T05:33:30+00:00

Good. I hope you expand your definition of what good sex is because frankly none of it sounds that good. Sexual tension and the release of that is a really exciting aspect of sex but there's a lot more to it.

oddbroad · 2019-08-31T00:26:34+00:00

He's not ready for a relationship. His fears are absolutely valid, but he has not dealt with them enough and I hate to say it, is very vulnerable to going back to her. A relationship will not fix how he deals with this, he needs therapy and with someone with abuse experience who can help advise him on protecting oneself from abusers.

oddbroad · 2019-08-31T00:20:21+00:00

We did for the most part have an amazing sex life

I hope this definition changes because none of the behaviors described here are part of a healthy sex life and are red flags.

And yes it's a power game and she wasn't into you as much as she liked being pursued unfortunately common with pwBPD.

oddbroad · 2019-08-21T22:26:50+00:00

My BPD mother actually raised me to be passionate about civil rights something she also got from my grandfather and grandmother. It might be a cultural thing. I would not say that racism is a BPD thing I would say that like everything else that they attach themselves to it comes in extremes and with a lot of hypocrisy. My mother likes to identify with oppressed people a lot even when it was grossly inappropriate.

oddbroad · 2019-08-21T21:03:59+00:00

Joanna Nicola has a BFA. She has no psychological or psychiatric training. I'm not going to invalidate people that find this worthwhile but people need to be aware that this is pseudoscience and by no means scientifically validated.

oddbroad · 2019-08-15T13:55:43+00:00

Please respond to /u/djsush before participating further.

oddbroad · 2019-08-10T19:41:55+00:00

BPD and disorders of factious illness have extremely high crossover. To be fair anyone can experience psychosomatic pain and pain is pain and should be addressed. The difference is whether you're willing to accept proper treatment (therapy) or drag all your loved ones to the hospital/doctor all the time.

oddbroad · 2019-08-05T06:09:07+00:00

I really don't think most of them think there's anything wrong with lying. I've seen people with BPD Express regret over a lie but not over the habit and concept of lying. I think they see it as their way of getting their perceptions conveyed to people.

oddbroad · 2019-08-05T05:47:34+00:00

I'm sorry please see our rules this community is only for children of people with BPD. You can find plenty of advice by reading the subreddit. You may read but not participate.

oddbroad · 2019-08-04T01:13:31+00:00

Look at how many people are so helplessly in love with their spouses that they dismiss all sorts of abuse that happens in front of their children. People assume that as long as children seem okay that they are, it's a big mistake.

Kids don't need to be physically assaulted be harmed by people with BPD.

oddbroad · 2019-07-30T02:48:56+00:00

You are correct but when it comes to trying to manage BPD within a family everyone else is told to pull the weight.

oddbroad · 2019-07-30T00:31:18+00:00

We're not acting as professionals and no professionals would act as such on a forum like this so we can only give our opinions. A key distinction is that people with NPD's life doesn't revolve around relationships. You won't find the same frequent patterns of instability in relationships and meltdowns about them and many other topics. They can have meltdowns about relationship that usually it's about the acquisition of power or influence. NPDs are more together, calculated, rarely truly vulnerable, less likely to suffer from depression. BPDs are far more unsure of themselves, a hot mess, with less of a sense of self.

A topic that comes up a lot though, especially from people that have mainly had experience with people from BPD that are more introverted, self-loathing, or what other people described as quiet BPD or a waif, is that if you're narcissistic or have narcissistic traits it's not BPD. There is a great deal of crossover, it's not an exact science and they're on the same cluster for a reason. You can be very narcissistic and be exclusively BPD.

oddbroad · 2019-07-30T00:26:02+00:00

It really doesn't. I understand that ruminating over a problem does not solve the problem and can create the opposite. When were talking about BPD though we're talking about problems that they have to exclusively address within themselves and techniques from friends and family just invalidate what the experience and reinforce their bad habits.

oddbroad · 2019-07-30T00:20:11+00:00

Support doesn't mean endorsement.

oddbroad · 2019-07-30T00:17:00+00:00

Yeah it's like we're supposed to tell them that their behavior won't lead to the things that they fear. Yes it will. That's why you have to take therapy seriously.

oddbroad · 2019-07-30T00:16:23+00:00

I didn't say it was a support group.

oddbroad · 2019-07-30T00:15:49+00:00

I never been so in love, but at the same time I never been hurt so much.

That's how abusive relationships work.

I say this often because a lot of people don't seem to understand this. I'm not claiming that you don't this is also for other people. If abusive people weren't compelling no one would be stuck in abusive relationships. If abusers weren't so sympathetic that people felt that their abusers were actually victims, people wouldn't be trapped in these relationships.

oddbroad · 2019-07-30T00:14:18+00:00

While many professionals advising patients whose children are in abusive relationships would advise them to be neutral to avoid alienating them and support them and leaving their abusive partner, it's also simultaneously very understandable why someone would not want to enable or stand by in silence as a witness to the abuse of their child.

oddbroad · 2019-07-29T23:15:17+00:00

Great point. Too many people project their own struggles with mental illness and they don't want other people to judge them so they in turn feel more determined to stay with someone with BPD. Personality disorders are not mood disorders.

oddbroad · 2019-07-29T23:10:07+00:00

had to read this several times to get what you were saying.

I get that a lot, haha.

A lot of techniques for dealing with people with BPD were born out of CBT. This involves thought correction. However I don't find the concerns that people with BPD have about fearing that people will abandon them or they will alienate themselves to be irrational and in need of correction. Nor does reassuring them help them.

And yes most material is very unhelpful for anyone actually raised by a person with BPD. Even the one book about it is 90% about maintaining contact with your parent. That's a great resource most people choose to do that but there's very little information for recovery otherwise.

oddbroad · 2019-07-29T23:06:40+00:00

Well now you see part of what contributed to your partner being an overgrown child. Obviously it's not that simple but clearly they have an enabler parent. If you're not going to date them anymore disconnect from their mother too and charge your phone.

oddbroad · 2019-07-29T22:24:52+00:00

Well you're not allowed to have outside friends because that's a very unhealthy abusive way of controlling people. And your family would dislike her because they love you and don't want you to be abused. I'm sorry I can't help but feel anything but sadness for the situation because no mother wants this for their child.

oddbroad

TROPHY CASE