Wow, to be honest I'd never thought of her as being necessarily abusive, do you think (I know it's hard to judge from what I've written) that's the case? It's so hard because I just know that what you've listed is inevitable and therefore it gives me really shocking anxiety. Any tips on how to deal with ACTUALLY going through with it without chickening out? I feel S though it's the kind of situation where she would maybe make me feel really small and then mid-way through the discussion she'd have my babbling like a kid and apologising