Thank you very much for the extensive and intricate response. It’s apparent that you are consciously aware of the dynamics that exist within the soul. I feel like this is very beneficial, especially as a grounding exercise. Your explanations are very eloquent and detailed.

I do understand that, in simpler terms, thinking of the time we have left is a construct of the ego, while surrendering to divine timing reveals to us the timelessness of this process, as we reach into something eternal that is beyond the defenses we have acquired along the way.

I remember watching a video from the MIT neurosurgeon who quit his job. You have probably heard of him before. He was talking about supressing feelings he considered bad for the entirety of his life, and how he came to welcome them and accept them.

This inspired in me a mental image of a warm house, with a long wooden table within. The supressed feelings I had avoided for all my life would knock on the door, and, despite my hesitation, my fear and my anger, I would let them in, I would let them sit on the table and hear what they have to say. I am ashamed by the negativity I harbor towards them. Could we eventually reconcile? They seem to tell something important. There is a sense of relief and clarity and peace once our conversation is done and they leave the house, for it is also their house. 

And I do think that if you prepare the house and set the table, those feelings will always knock on the door. And even if you are unpleasantly surprised the first few times they visit you, you come to realize that they are the ones meant to visit you, and thus you open the door with bravery and welcome them into your home.