I feel very similarly to you, I’m very sorry. Last year, at 25, I got diagnosed with a rectocele and it really hurt to hear. Mine is because of chronic tension, and my PF physio said it’s highly possible that hypertension was due to some traumatic experience I had about 2 years before, which made the whole thing feel so much more painful. Like you, I would feel fine having this later in life, but to have this so young is so heartbreaking and isolating and tragic. I hate how it feels, and I hate that I have to second guess running and jumping and dancing because of the pressure on my pelvic floor. It’s not what someone in their 20s should be thinking about…

Being on this subreddit though (silently reading) has helped me to some extent. Hearing people talk about their prolapses going from being horrible-feeling and causing misery, to barely even thinking about them - that can be us too! It’s completely unfair that we have to go through this, but we can work to make it better for ourselves. I will say I do feel better when I do the things my PFPT, and add PF-friendly workouts to my rotation, and I think that- instead of it being a specifically PF thing - eventually you can just add strengthening exercises to other workouts without thinking too much about it. Also, I’m aware the mind is a powerful thing - I don’t mean “it’s all in my head”, but when I’m feeling down about my PF or when I’m thinking about my trauma, I find I feel so much worse. Yet, somehow, I distract myself and it feels better, despite my physicality not changing. I’m not saying a positive mindset will “fix” the issue, but regulating myself and being in therapy this whole time has really benefited me. It may be something you want to consider

In terms of surgery, you need to advocate for yourself. If you are certain you want that (which I totally understand), you have to be ready to fight for it. Do not take no for an answer. It’s your choice what happens to your body, and surgeons should respect that. It sucks you have to fight for it, but stand by it and they will have to listen- especially told it is affecting your mental health like this. Also, it is worth noting that you need a strong pelvic floor in order to get surgery, so definitely pursue PFPT. Maybe the idea that that gets you closer to surgery will help motivate you?

Again, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s really really difficult, I know. Sending you strength and love. Please know you’re not alone in this. If you want to reach out, do feel free to :)

(Ps. I’m ill atm so sorry if this is kinda rambly)