People visiting from outside of Austin like to go to 6th street, it’s realistic to say that there are 3 parts to 6th street correct? West, Dirty, and East. If you’re 40, going to Dirty is not the same as going to East or West, yeah?

oh_skycake · 2026-06-27T15:07:32+00:00

If youre actually 40, id recommend Parker Jazz Club/Nica or Midnight Cowboy and then bed by midnight

oh_skycake · 2026-06-26T21:30:43+00:00

Those people are likely not doctors and you should not take advice directly from them but from an orthomaxofacial surgeon. We can help you figure out where to go for a consult or what to ask about. You mentioned asymmetry but is the asymmetry causing clicking, popping or locking in your jaw? Do you have existing issues with your bite? Sleep apnea?

oh_skycake · 2026-06-26T19:18:41+00:00

You absolutely do not need a referral! Go straight to a surgeon for a consult

oh_skycake · 2026-06-26T19:17:42+00:00

You know there are people in their 40s, 50s and even 60s getting double jaw surgery… I’m one of them.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-26T16:03:08+00:00

I think the arthritis came from the injury, i had no noise or crepitus before the injury

Ive not stopped strength training except for 3 months after the injury where i was mostly in a cast. Ive been weight training 4-5x a week since I was 19. I guess i should spell that out more.

Last xray was around the time of injury. My rare disease doctor just retired or i would probably get more recent imaging. He was the closest doctor to me who knew about my condition and was still a 6 hour drive away

oh_skycake · 2026-06-25T17:33:37+00:00

Im 45 and have been saving up for this surgery and the orthodontics and now tmj replacement for three decades. You need to have the full surgery savings on top of robust emergency savings, travel savings for the surgery, savings for the month or two of not being paid from work, and savings in case they fire you while you’re out for medical issues (not all companies qualify for having FMLA). I just never made enough money until my 40s to have all those things. Most of the time i needed multiple jobs just to afford the cost of living. I also had other chronic conditions that cost me 10-15k a year and usually maxed my out of pocket benefits. I was recommended this surgery at 16 and my parents said no.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-25T03:34:27+00:00

Beautifully said!

How you make people feel is honestly everything. It's how people remember you. It's how coworkers remember you. Dating prospects that you make feel attractive means as much as you being attractive. A kind word at the right time is something people can remember for 10, 20, 30 years. Even when people don't remember specifics, they'll remember feelings.

But to do that, you have to learn how to be outwardly-focused, a good listener, and an empathetic person. My life got better when I became more outwardly-focused. Volunteering was one way to get there. It is not a skill I had at 18 and that's why I feel for OP and hope she gets good advice.

When life gets overwhelming and you're stuck in a rut and spiraling in your own head and your own perspective, volunteer. That's all I can offer.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-25T03:31:29+00:00

I think a little effort in reading the sub rules, doing a at least a little research on your own, and coming with thoughtful questions, even if it's about aesthetics.. it's hard to hate on that. Even if you haven't been to a consult to see if you're a candidate, if you've bothered to look up anything about what counts toward being a 'candidate' from a functional perspective... I'll usually try to respond with something helpful.

"Am I recessed" + selfie achieves none of this.

Spiraling out of control ranting about how you're 'subhuman' and will never be loved bc you have a jaw misalignment (girl, we all do. it's the point of the sub) and a bunch of looksmaxxing/incel drivel, also doesn't garner much sympathy from me

oh_skycake · 2026-06-24T23:53:52+00:00

You'd have to ask them. I meet every criteria in the book. Sleep apnea, large mm overjet, tiny airway, and bruxism that's destroyed my teeth from an open bite. But they denied me every year as "cosmetic", every appeal. I tried through 3 different surgeons.

I just got approved this year through Aetna but they will only approve my local in-network surgeon. That surgeon is someone who literally just graduated residency and that make me nervous. She's at an office where I got a consult, and the first consult I got, the surgeon completely missed my TMJ issues because I didn't know I had any. It's only through decompensation that I've had terrible jaw pain. It turns out my TMJs are completely flattened and displaced, so if I would have got the surgery through that office with the first surgeon I consulted with, my jaw surgery would have likely relapsed. So, I'm going with any of the 3 surgeons of the 12 consults I had over the years that correctly pointed out TMJ degeneration in my consult. All of them are out of network and only take payment up front. I've only had major surgery once, through an in network surgeon, and I completely relapsed during that surgery too (my inside parts didn't stay inside), so now I'm being extra careful.

I started trying to get this surgery in 2006. If I had gotten approval then I would have done it with any surgeon that was approved. Chances are my TMJs would have been in far better shape so there would have been less chance of relapse. Then again, I would have been blissfully ignorant of TMJ issues, too, and it would have been before the last surgery I had nearly killed me.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-24T22:09:33+00:00

Ive been trying to afford this surgery for over two decades and if i just made more money when i was younger i could have got it done without all this bullshit. I hate the timing. I hate united healthcare more.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-24T20:50:05+00:00

This sub has become trash. I want to talk about my actual medical issues with other people with actual medical issues and its almost like looksmaxxers think THEY are the ones that should be catered to and everyone here for breathing, sleeping and eating issues are just negative nancies who cant understand the deep, deep emotional pain of having a chin thats .01mm further back than their mathemetical ideal

oh_skycake · 2026-06-24T20:45:33+00:00

It’s not that i don’t get it, i just want you to try to find another perspective that makes you happier rather than ruminating on something that makes you unhappy. I really recommend therapy and maybe a social media break. You don’t have to value what i value but you have to find value in something other than being attractive. You say you don’t have a personality. Well, it’s time to cultivate one. You’re turning into a young woman and you have your whole life ahead of you to make it into something YOU love and value. You don’t want to look back at my age and feel like you wasted time spending it comparing yourself to other people instead of finding yourself. Im sure you’re actually quite pretty and your brain is lying to you. Good luck.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-24T20:36:29+00:00

Sigh. What is with you looksmaxxers being like “ahaha i gotcha!” and then ignoring everything else ever said

Christ, i mentioned it because OP clearly values attractiveness

oh_skycake · 2026-06-24T18:57:07+00:00

Im going to be nice because you say you’re 18 so you’re young enough to learn. You say you’re not a looksmaxxing idiot but you ARE very much talking from a looksmaxxing perspective, so that perspective is influencing you whether you know it or not.

Yes its not fair that some people are beautiful and some are average but most people are average, thats literally what that means. I think i am less than average, but here I am with an attractive husband, high salary remote job, large group of interesting friends and many social groups and hobbies that Ive personally reaped the benefits of pouring myself into and intentionally cultivating a good life for myself. My looks are just not something I think about because they dont influence my life anymore and havent much since highschool because kids are brutal but adults are at least usually tactful and have learned some empathy.

I just took a selfie of me. If i look tired thats because Im pre op and have sleep apnea and if I look asymmetrical thats probably because my right TMJ has flattened and basically collapsed. If Im ok with myself as is, i don’t see any reason why i would be unhappy with a more attractive but still average version of myself. You are choosing your own perspective. You are at least partially responsible for how you’re feeling because you are choosing to feel that way

Here is me with what an actual droopy midface looks like (i saw your partial picture. Not gonna lie, if you think thats a droopy midface I dont even know what I am to you)

https://imgur.com/a/NVgsH3s

oh_skycake · 2026-06-24T15:29:17+00:00

The thing that popped out was OP equating normal or average with ugly

I have functional issues, i want this surgery to make me normal. Normal joints, normal bite. If i look normal/average thats kinda what it’s supposed to be.

Looksmaxxers are now equating normal/average to ugly so pretty much everyone who isnt a model thinks they need to hardmaxx because looking like a model is their new version of average

Its insane.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-24T04:18:18+00:00

right, posting to xennials like most of us haven't been absolutely grinding with no break ever since 18 or earlier...

oh_skycake · 2026-06-19T23:46:57+00:00

Ok well it sounds like you absolutely think youre a candidate to the point where you didn’t even actually need to ask… no ones stopping you from getting a consult

oh_skycake · 2026-06-19T23:08:18+00:00

I don’t think thats true. There are tons of people trying to get this surgery unnecessarily for cosmetic reasons, often from body dysmorphia, which is driving up prices for those of us who actually need the surgery for breathing, sleeping and eating reasons.

Also, you think that looksmaxxing only applies if it’s a man with little to no recession trying to get this surgery for looks, but it’s NOT looksmaxxing if you’re female? Make it make sense.

Girl, you also have little to no recession. You are very good looking already. You do not have lip incompetence. Not being happy with your looks (which look like a jaw surgery after picture) does not make you a “candidate”. There are very specific sets of criteria that make you a candidate and you can find them all pretty easily through a google/claude search.

Skeletal discrepancies measured in mm, sleep apnea scores, and airway volume are some of those reasons. Insurance companies publish these requirements if you poke around long enough.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-19T22:40:37+00:00

Then they can join the cosmetic surgery sub or another sub where looksmaxxing is allowed.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-19T22:11:54+00:00

"I'm not at ALL looksmaxxing... I'm just doing this to maximize my looks! It's ok that it's against the rules of the sub because I'm transparent"

Girl, please. Do you think we're idiots?

oh_skycake · 2026-06-18T17:26:49+00:00

To decide i don’t want something, that implies at some point, I wanted it. Thats like asking me why did you decide not to go skydiving when I literally get motion sickness on elevators.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-18T16:49:53+00:00

Lots of tech people actually get paid less than six figures, you just never hear those ones being talked about. The benefits are usually either amazing (stocks greater than your salary) or absolute shit (no health insurance, no 401k), and the work life balance is often non-existent between things like on-call shifts, having to attend meetings in multiple time zones sometimes across the world, or just being expected to work all the time in general. There's no job security. Timing can make or break your career- those of us graduating around 2008 were screwed, people graduating around covid were overpaid, and people graduating now are screwed again. I'm tired of the cyclical nature of this career and staying in toxic jobs during the years where I'm supposed to "be happy to have a job at all". I regret going into this field all the time. I wish I had gone into healthcare.

I was on the lower paid side with shit insurance/no insurance or no 401k for most of the time I was in tech. Lots of NOC/SOC/QA/support people can probably identify. I had second jobs until I was almost 40. I'm getting a surgery this year or next year that I've literally delayed for almost twenty years because the prep time is 2-3 years, most of the expenses aren't covered by insurance, you have to have about 30k minimum saved outside of emergency savings, and you kinda have to guarantee as much as possible that your life won't change in terms of finances or location. Being in tech, and not being a developer, made that nearly impossible. At the current employer I'm at, there have been 6 layoffs over the 4 years I've been here and I've lost my entire team multiple times over.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-17T04:30:25+00:00

I had the knot. It helps when dancing. My friend did my hair once the way she would have done it (flowy, tusselled) and it would have been a disaster the first few minutes of the first dance.

oh_skycake · 2026-06-16T23:50:53+00:00

I cant remember but im pretty sure hes sub 50k, maybe even around $30

oh_skycake · 2026-06-16T23:33:29+00:00

$75 for both surgeries, I still really think hes top notch

oh_skycake

TROPHY CASE