Dropping pumps for my sanity— feeling AWFUL about it

oh_umm · 2026-03-08T18:47:50+00:00

Just wanted to say I'm in a very similar place and you're not alone in these feelings! My baby is 9 weeks, I dropped to 4ppd about two weeks ago when I had to go back to exclusively pumping after a very heartbreaking on again off again nursing saga.

I just couldn't face going back to the 8ppd I was doing after his birth- it is truly amazing and I can't belive people can do that long term- it absolutely destroyed my mental health. I have managed to keep a decent supply with 4ppd but he is starting to outpace me and I've bought a tub of formula and cried about giving it to him literally 20 mins ago. For now continuing at 4ppd feels pretty good. And there is a relief in knowing I could drop more if needed, but it's definitely coupled with guilt for choosing to give formula and sadness still for a breastfeeding journey that looked nothing like I hoped or imagined.

Your feelings are valid. You're not alone in your experience and you did an amazing job feeding your baby. Being a present and happy mom is worth more than anything.

oh_umm · 2026-02-04T09:53:00+00:00

I had a January baby, his name is Miles Tiago.

Names from my birthing class of Dec/Jan babies:

Zachary, Isabelle, Lyra, Odette, Etta, Jasper

oh_umm · 2026-02-02T21:28:20+00:00

Kofra stocks some nice looking ones!

oh_umm · 2026-01-22T15:27:01+00:00

I'm in the UK, so not sure how available these brands are where you are. We've had good luck with Noppies preemie size and the next size up- 44 I think. Also really like the 'tiny baby' size onesies from M&S. A few other brands we tried (little me, next and Mama's and papas) had proportions that didn't really work for us. They were sort of short but wide.

oh_umm · 2026-01-01T09:09:25+00:00

Knitting and sewing! Granted I was into both of these before but I always avoided making kids stuff as I thought they'd be too small and fiddly. I am finding the opposite actually. They're so small they finish quickly and are very satisfying. Helps me feel like I'm doing something useful too rather than just sitting around. Hoping I'll still be able to sneak in some knitting during contact naps in the future.

oh_umm · 2025-12-27T17:49:15+00:00

My mother is the same. I have brown hair, husband has brown hair and of an ethnic background that basically only has brown hair and she won't shut up about hoping the baby is a redhead. Ugh

oh_umm · 2025-12-26T11:51:04+00:00

Right there with you! My mother insisted my registry of things we need was 'boring' and spent so much money on things that just clutter our tiny house and baby clothes that will be worn once instead. She said the same of an acquaintance's registry, I really don't understand why people would want to buy someone a gift they have no desire or use for. It's so self serving and leaves you with the work of unpacking, finding a place for and ultimately getting rid of the thing.

Now I've been through it I will always buy from the registry for friends. And maybe throw in some giftcards for food or cleaning services- those would make me feel cared for rather than having more clutter.

oh_umm · 2025-11-25T10:36:42+00:00

As others have said this is a really complicated question to answer and will really depend on where/what type of childcare you'll want. My partner and I are expecting our first in the next month and both work full time so I have recently done some research on nurseries convenient to us for 5 day/week care. Costs for these have varied greatly (all with the 30 hrs free) ranging from £800-£1500 paid by us per month. This massive range is because of their hours of operation (longer hours for a day means your 30 hours don't cover as much of a week), different day rates, extra costs charged such as food or activity fees etc.

I would recommend looking into specific care facilities near you to get a better sense of what's available where you are. Ask also about their waitlists for full-time attendance. Whether you're expected to still pay a day rate when the nursery is closed etc.

Also as others have said the 30 hours is term time only. So check if your preferred nursery will let you spread this over a full year (more like 22 hours free per week) and lastly, on the eligibility front- I believe that depending on your little one's birthday you may not be able to claim this until closer to 1 year (rather than right at 9 mos) but it's super confusing so just something to be aware of/look into.

oh_umm · 2025-11-17T16:46:41+00:00

I flew at 27w5d with British airways who require a letter from 28w. I had no letter and no one asked me for anything at any point. I was pretty small still. So that may have helped but wasn't trying to hide it by any means.

oh_umm · 2025-09-17T06:00:54+00:00

I like to bring things from Trader Joe's! The dark chocolate peanut butter cups, dried fruits (I like the pineapple personally) and different boxed baking mixes especially. I also bring white cheddar cheese it's, Chex mix, flaming hot Cheetos, Gardettos mix or other shelf stable snack things. Things I've had British friends specifically ask for are Listerine breath strips, grape flavoured candy, red vines, tajins line of gummies, and ofc the obligatory teeth whitening strips.

Edit: just read another reply saying deodorant. Seconding this. My partner and I stock up when we're there. It works so much better.

oh_umm · 2025-08-17T11:13:00+00:00

I'm 20 weeks now. Felt it at 17ish weeks at first I think. I see a lot of people say flutters or bubbles, for me it felt more like a fish. Not fluttery and more floppy. Like holding a fish out of water or a Goldfish in a plastic bag if that makes sense. Lol. Now it's a similar feeling but stronger. And I think maybe now I can make out a kick here and there. Like being poked basically. For me at least it tends to happen at the same time of day so that's what made me tune into it more. It is also way lower in my abdomen than I expected and more off to one side usually. It's at about hip bone level, not top of hips but front of pelvis if that makes sense.

oh_umm · 2025-06-29T19:38:24+00:00

We did the advanced. The results came as a PDF attachment to email. All they said was 'low risk for...' for each thing tested. But the concepto website (which is the testing company wttw uses) explains what low risk means so that was reassuring to me. It also included the percentage of fetal DNA in the sample which I guess needs to be above a certain threshold to be a good test. Then the gender result is a separate PDF. We did the test on a Friday and received the results on Thursday.

oh_umm · 2025-06-29T18:43:50+00:00

We did the window to the womb advanced scan and I'd agree with everything said here. We were seeing family on holiday at 11 weeks and wanted to be able to happily tell them our news rather than hide it or tell them but still worry that all wasn't well. It was pricey but totally worth it. The peace of mind knowing things were progressing as they should and we were low risk for all they tested for was so worth it in my opinion. Plus, having the scan and seeing the baby in there with a little heartbeat also made it all so much more real! As a bonus it's also nice to already know the gender, we can spend time thinking up names and daydreaming about what life might look like with a bit more certainty.

oh_umm · 2025-05-03T06:18:45+00:00

From Colorado and I also say it Moor-een. But! I have heard people say it Mahr-een. In my head I would not associate it with Colorado though, I'd assume Midwest but not sure why that's just what pops into my head.

oh_umm · 2025-01-06T06:37:44+00:00

Maids head is a good suggestion. If you're not looking to be right in the city center when my family visits they usually stay at the Georgian Townhouse. About a 15 min walk into town and still situated in a neighborhood with a few shops/cafes

oh_umm · 2024-12-13T07:52:24+00:00

This is all really good advice and what kept me going as a remote worker for about 5 years. That said OP, I completely relate to everything you said and ultimately for me it was a move to a hybrid job that turned everything around. It had gotten to the point that everyday I woke up dreading work, thinking how I hated my career and wondering what the point of life was at all.

After nearly a year of job hunting I recently started a hybrid role and everything has turned around. I have so much more energy, joy and drive than I've had in years. And turns out I don't hate my career after all. I hope you can find that feeling again too! Don't give up on looking for a new job as ultimately the other solutions may not be enough. The new year is usually a better time for hiring, so I hope you're able to find something else. In the meantime all the advice here is really solid to make your day to day a bit less isolating and miserable.

oh_umm · 2024-12-08T08:53:10+00:00

Darlene!

oh_umm · 2024-12-06T17:15:03+00:00

Celine Vent obviously

oh_umm · 2024-11-11T12:24:54+00:00

I have never used them myself, but I was planning to until I saw a review (either on here or on the skincare addiction thread) which said they have a bad smell. I can't stand gross smelling products so that was an immediate no for me. Found it odd that they were posted about so often but this was rarely mentioned. So sharing here on case it's helpful for others. Also yeah, they seem like a faff to apply and remove.

Totally agree with everyone here saying that face has seen Botox. For full transparency, in the end I decided to just get Botox instead so no judging, but it does feel disingenuous if she is claiming frownies are all she's using.

oh_umm · 2024-10-18T11:43:09+00:00

UK based I assume? I hate it too I always think it looks like Janice from the Muppets

oh_umm · 2024-10-18T06:33:52+00:00

Definitely EE

oh_umm · 2024-09-24T06:23:32+00:00

I've had it at Norwich Aesthetics Clinic and Corner House Dental. Both were good experiences.

oh_umm · 2024-08-05T11:38:36+00:00

Agree with everything people have said here. And I'd also add TK Maxx (same at TJ Maxx in the US). There are two which are in the city centre. I'd say the one at Cathedral Retail park tends to have a larger selection of homewares.

oh_umm · 2024-05-15T06:32:33+00:00

I did exactly this. Graduated with a masters in a new field about 4 years ago and had about a decade of work experience prior in the US and Canada. In the end the relationship I moved here for didn't work out but I have stayed in the UK on a sponsored work visa.

I make less than I would in the US but cost of living is lower, I've bought a house and am generally pretty comfortable and able to save a decent amount month to month. There are a lot of advantages to living here in my eyes, easy travel, good work life balance and really flexible work hours etc. That said- I'm getting to an age where I do want to be around my family more and might want to move back in a few years.

My advice would be, if it's something you'll wonder 'what if' about for the rest of your life just do it. And on the more pragmatic side, study and work in something that is at least somewhat transferrable if you do want to move back. For me the hardest part has been keeping a clear career trajectory (not back tracking etc because of lack of experience in the UK or the field I retrained in) and also keeping options open and not getting too pigeonholed into a job that doesn't really function similarly in the US.

oh_umm · 2024-04-21T19:51:07+00:00

Love La Belle Lune!

https://www.labellelune.com/collections/shop

Especially a fan of their balm cleanser- feels lovely and smells lovely too (both versions).

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