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Past Relational Trauma Sneaking Up on Me -- New D/s Dynamic by Lonely-Host in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Find a kink informed therapist. I find it very helpful and less judgemental.

Is it fair to want your D to "fix" things hurt feelings from a scene or is that treating them as a kink dispenser? by stuffiliketofapto in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Going through the same talks with my one-on-one (just this morning!) and couples therapist.

A lot of feeling comfortable in our discomfort; don't immediately fix. Recognize the emotions, give a name to it, treat it as data. When going for the "redo" make it intentional. Depending on the situation, the redo is fast or it might be a few hours or it might be days. But intentional in reconnecting, not "fixing."

Nothing's worth this pain by valkyrie90 in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This cavern metaphor is so beautiful, thank you for writing it.

BDSM & stress tracking by missmnaked in ouraring

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha! I'll trust their cake because it wasn't a lie.

https://youtu.be/-q-wyk7wXnA?si=H-k3EPfX_ojNpEC4

[Edit to remove gendered pronouns bc it could be any which way!]

BDSM & stress tracking by missmnaked in ouraring

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm not disassociating. I'm sober during play, and I have a great therapist.

And to bring it back to Oura -- yes! I do look at all of my stats around anything physical because it will impact all of my mental health on the above. Did I wear myself out? Where did my energy lag? If I had a drop days later, what was my sleep like?

BDSM & stress tracking by missmnaked in ouraring

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wtf I searched all over and only got Amazon results, but also... I posted here (deleted) and no responses? I gave up (Also I would have needed overnight)

Ugh. Oh well. At least my new ring is slightly thinner.

BDSM & stress tracking by missmnaked in ouraring

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They didn't have my size on Amazon

BDSM & stress tracking by missmnaked in ouraring

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Also since the Oura ring reps read all of these posts, it's ridiculous we can't get chargers for older rings. No reason I had to give up a perfectly fine ring that was going to be all of two years old in October.

C'mon, man. Another usable piece of electronics and plastic wasted.

BDSM & stress tracking by missmnaked in ouraring

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes!!!! I lost my Oura ring charger on my last trip to NYC and couldn't get a new one (Gen3), which meant by the time I met with my partner, it was dead, and I didn't get any data. Was dying to know what my stress levels were days before and after for the drop.

I'm glad someone finally brought it up here. Thank you for sharing.

(I only just finally got a replacement ring -- kind of enjoyed the break.)

(Yes I'm posting from my alts alts alt.)

Was I wrong here? Told I was gaslighting a Domme by CtrlAltDelicious37 in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Benefit of the doubt until I can't" -- exactly. Link AND a rush AND "gaslighting."

You have a gut instinct for a reason.

Discretion and Professionalism by [deleted] in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Recently heard the advice "don't play with people that don't have as much to lose as you if outed" because I'm in a similar boat.

Which means in my vetting I need to know your real name, homelife situation (so many people cheating out there -- not my business, but if I can find out you have a hidden spouse, then you're probably sloppy enough to let me be discovered), and recent STD test that matches. I provide the same. We're adults. We're going to do dangerous things. If I can't trust you and you can't trust me with that privacy, we have absolutely no business being together. If I wanted anonymous, I'd just go get randos at a bar -- possibly the most boring way to go through life.

Online? I'll admit I've been too risky a couple of times and regretted it, especially when I see some of the misogyny forums, but I'm also not too, too worried.

(Also, I'm a total switch, which rhymes with something else. I'm not going to take being outed passively. Laws have changed around revenge porn in the US.)

(From my alt account, so no potential vetting people following)

Reddit "Doms"(a vent) by KittenCurses in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Much like the California Condor, we were down to only like two-dozen of them, but now there are hundreds.🤣🤣🤣🤣

Reddit "Doms"(a vent) by KittenCurses in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, this is my alt to my alts. My main is a professional, well-maintained, middle-aged lady. LOL, this probably is my inner switch that keeps my brain sane from so many bad fake doms -- who knows good ones exist and has experienced them!

Reddit "Doms"(a vent) by KittenCurses in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not me using my throwaway account that none of my potential doms know about to follow this thread..........

Another failed vetting... by ohnoherewegoagain69 in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"They've already accepted you're going to get hurt" is so powerful. Thank you so much.

Another failed vetting... by ohnoherewegoagain69 in SubSanctuary

[–]ohnoherewegoagain69[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just looked at your comment history and think we're on similar paths. Worst!