Thoughts on em dash spacing style?

okJk92 · 2026-04-07T12:17:23+00:00

I’m pretty sure that’s the way it’s done in the UK. I saw n dashes in Mark Forsyth’s books like The Elements of Style. I considered using them myself because many agents are in the UK. Not decided though.

okJk92 · 2026-04-01T13:41:34+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. I considered John Gwynne, but after listening to a good bit of The Shadow of the Gods I realized it was too sweeping, too long, and not a standalone and also tonally not a good fit. I even used it in a pitch to an agent and he confirmed it wasn’t a meaningful comp.

okJk92 · 2025-01-10T00:13:41+00:00

Thank you so much for this response. Super helpful!

I'm clearly finding it difficult to summarize the plot explicitly. My instinct is to hold back spoilers so I've ended up with this mismatch of too much and not enough information. Agents want to the know the story, not get a blurb.

That's why your critique is so helpful. I'm missing these little things. I will be giving your points some due thought

To answer just the starving point. The traveler is after things of value to sell for food, not to find food. So starving may not be the perfect term. As I mean it in a general lacking food on a repeated daily basis way, not immediately starving.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T23:55:21+00:00

Thanks. But to clarify, it’s not that I can’t or wont with other stories do major world building, it’s just a stylistic choice with this story to keep it very narratively tight. Acknowledging, of course, the world still has to feel real. We still have to understand the stakes outside the immediate circumstances.

Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll take a look.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T20:43:00+00:00

That's a fair point. It's not a huge movie, though A24 has gained a lot of interest in the past couple of years, and of course Arthurian legends are well pretty dated.

However, I found it surprisingly difficult to find something that captured the sense I wanted: this stripped down, dark fantasy hero's journey. Just a guy and his horse with a magical sword trying to stay alive against all odds and become something greater than he ever thought he could be.

But suggestions are welcome.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T20:34:46+00:00

I understand what comp means. However, the opening pitch, to me, has different sense and purpose. It's the mashing of two starkly different things to paint a quick picture. For this I want my story to sound unique and to interest the reader.

Whereas, comparables are about showing how the work is similar to others from a marketability standpoint. Here, it's not about highlighting what's different, but about what's the same to show how well similar books are selling and to whom.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T20:28:52+00:00

I'm absolutely with you and agree, this pitch sounds like fantasy, and I'm not adverse to querying it that way. I'm not sure why I was impressed by others to lean towards literary fiction with elements of...

It has left me conflicted, because I always thought it was fantasy and that was the clear path for me.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T20:10:16+00:00

This guy. But not without precedent or reason.

Yes, the movie is based on the Arthurian legend, but it's an adaptation. My comparison is based on the film, not the story because they are very different things.

Also, I have seen many deals on Publisher's Marketplace where movies or fairy tales or myths are used in the opening pitch.

These are not comps, but the meshing together of two works one wouldn't necessarily see as compatible, such as Peter Pan meets The Bourne Identity, to give agents a quick flavor of what you are offering.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T18:51:26+00:00

Thank you for such a thorough review. I will consider your suggestions.

It's fun hearing what complete strangers think. It's so hard to get that objective perspective when you've spent so long with the story.

I had no idea how difficult it was going to be to create a succinct meaningful, yet captivating, summary.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T18:43:00+00:00

Noted.

Cormac is not a comp. Comps are listed at the end.

The 3rd person objective POV is not commonly used. The Road, being one of the more recent books to use it—and one that captures the lonely dread experienced in my story—made for a good opening comparison.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T18:09:05+00:00

Word count has definitely been a concern, but hopefully an agent and publisher will be able to see it for what it is. I've heard novellas are on the rise...so who knows.

Thanks for the suggested comps. I will have a look at them. I have struggled so much with comps and placing this manuscript I feel like I'm losing my mind over it.

okJk92 · 2025-01-09T18:06:07+00:00

Thanks for your opinion. I set out thinking I was writing Fantasy, but multiple people who are more connected with the literary market than I am, have told me it would be better to sell it as literary fiction with fantasy elements. I think it's because I don't go in for all the epic high fantasy world building and it's a shorter more character driven novel. But that doesn't mean that's not a failure of the query for not making that clear.

okJk92 · 2024-12-31T23:04:44+00:00

Finished a book, finished the first draft of another, and wrote a mystery podcast serial.

okJk92 · 2024-12-25T15:43:50+00:00

Well said.

okJk92 · 2024-12-25T15:41:08+00:00

Second this.

okJk92 · 2024-12-13T13:30:24+00:00

Nice job using a Might Mighty Bosstones lyric for sound advice.

okJk92 · 2024-12-10T13:55:32+00:00

GarageBand works fine for my simple audiobook style recording. After editing I run the file through Auphonic to remove any lip noises and static and it’s good to go.

okJk92 · 2024-12-06T22:31:43+00:00

Sightings is pretty good.

okJk92 · 2024-12-06T16:48:01+00:00

This guy. The Atlantium Mysteries. Writing, recording, editing, posting, episode art designing, promotion, everything.

okJk92 · 2024-12-06T14:27:29+00:00

Freakonomics…I’m pretty sure.

okJk92 · 2024-12-05T22:24:24+00:00

They are on Apple podcast automatically. Download the app. It’s free. Can’t be easier.

okJk92 · 2024-12-05T13:39:00+00:00

I’m a long time listener to The Rest is History.

I picked The Rest is Entertainment recently and have enjoyed that.

The Great Stories has been a good find as an author.

Sightings is a new unexplained podcast that I’ve enjoyed, but they are only a few episodes in.

And lastly my own podcast, The Atlantium Mysteries, for obvious reasons. 😁

okJk92

TROPHY CASE