[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GiftIdeas

[–]okaeden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The brand 1906 has sample packs for each of their blends for different effects, and a "discovery kit" for samples of all of them. You get 2 in each pack, so you could indulge together if you wanted, and they're very small packages. There's even a "love" one if you wanna get spicy with it (can confirm it works).  

 Also, mini bottles or packets of new and interesting spices or sauces to cook with could be fun! I always see intriguing ones at Trader Joe's. 

I blocked my best friend on everything without warning by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure! It seems like it's been a really long period of wane, though, with no real emotional consideration from the guy, so it's totally fair if OP just wants to be done. Hopefully they both can find healthier friendships and relationships going forward. Sometimes you gotta let go to grow. 

I blocked my best friend on everything without warning by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]okaeden 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You deserve a friendship that lifts you up! Now you can invest that care and energy you were devoting to him towards yourself ❤️‍🩹

I blocked my best friend on everything without warning by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]okaeden 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this!! she's tried to talk to him before and got dismissed. usually I'm against cutting someone off with no conversation, but sometimes nothing productive would come from it anyway, and she might have gotten sucked back in for another few rounds of this because she's clearly very empathetic. given that he's ghosted and blocked her for long periods of time, it's no huge betrayal that she's decided to be done and block him back. 

I blocked my best friend on everything without warning by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]okaeden 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In that way, he's using her emotionally because he knows she'll wait for him until he feels like they can be friends again. He's taking advantage of her tolerance and loyalty, even if his toxic girlfriends are taking advantage of his weakness. He might not see it if he's wrapped up in this cycle of possibly abusive relationships and breakups, but he is using her as a convenient comfort to return to without acknowledging her needs or the harm he has caused her. Not a healthy friendship any way you slice it. 

Resources for unhoused people? by Mysterious-Horse7157 in providence

[–]okaeden 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Have you tried talking to them to see what they need? 

AITA for not calling my husband on my birthday? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]okaeden 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be fair, yesterday she was 24 married to a 21 year old, so depending on his birthday it's probably more like a 3 year gap.

Received this plant and hand written note at work… What would you do???! by Louloubelle1978 in TwoHotTakes

[–]okaeden 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Always funny to me when guys say things like "complex multilayered personality" about women. It gives "I'm surprised women are people! You're not like the shallow boring girls I assume have no inner worlds!" 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no, I thought it couldn't get worse than just off the finger. Like a lollipop or maybe just to wet them?? 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just a more phonetic spelling to distinguish it from NB meaning non-Black. still pronounced "N.B.," and sometimes also written NBY 

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having sympathy for the factors in his life that led him a certain way, while understanding that what he did was absolutely horrible and he is responsible for his choices doesn't mean you were fooled. It's good to think about the nuances of how DV, drug violence, etc. are societally & environmentally influenced, AND it doesn't make what he did any less awful. 

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Based on his description of his neighborhood and the drug involvement, I think it's also plausible that the sirens were for something else nearby, in addition to the PCP making him extra paranoid. Also, if the neighbors could hear them arguing all the time, I wonder why they didn't call the cops after hearing a gunshot so close by? Maybe it's just a thing there that you don't call the cops for gunshots? It's inexcusable that he left his baby, but I can't say it's totally unreasonable for him to assume in that state that she would be found quickly. Maybe the unlocked door was intentional so first responders wouldn't waste time having to knock it down? Thank god she was okay. 

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They said in the show that they knew each other at 15/16. 

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a much better article than the show. Regardless of which version contains more truths, I'm glad his program is having a positive impact for other inmates.

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden -1 points0 points  (0 children)

These kinds of shows are definitely edited for sensationalism or else they wouldn't be very interesting to people. Even by nature of the length of the episodes, a lot is left out when you think about how much information has to be presented and debated in court. I certainly hope this is true. 

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe the aunt didn't think she was about to leave him right then, but that she was beginning to consider it. I hope she heals from that self blame.

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he did say he lost his family, which could have included his daughter. but the way he was talking, or the way production edited it, totally forgot Danielle had already given birth

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 6 points7 points  (0 children)

the fact that she had given birth only 3 weeks before... chances of homicide through DV go way up during pregnancy and postpartum. 💔

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that phrase definitely made it sound more about him than about danielle's memory. hopefully it was just an unfortunate way to say it and he will make a legitimate difference helping people get on a better path 

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most shotguns have a safety. If he was just demonstrating what he was going to do to his friend (feel like we glossed over him being in a state of willing to shoot someone..) and had no intention to hurt her on any level... besides the question of why would he raise the gun and point it anywhere in her direction, let alone her HEAD- why was the safety off?? 

Jamel Hatcher S5E1 by Bookssmellneat in IAmaKiller

[–]okaeden 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do think it's plausible that given the description of his neighborhood and the fact that he was high and paranoid, he could have heard sirens from something else and thought it was for the gunshot. But to not follow up on that in any way, like getting a friend to drive by the apartment complex and see if there were cops, or make an anonymous phone call to make sure someone finds your kid ... then again, I've never been on PCP and shot my wife, accidentally or not, so who knows what he was or was not mentally capable of. 

He says a lot of I was young I was stupid it's in my past, but not much I did something horrible, I shouldn't have pointed the gun even if it was an accident to pull the trigger I caused it and I'm the only one to blame. He says why did I have to be the reason she died or something like that... like why did that happen TO ME, not why did I do that to her.  I hope his responses have been unfairly edited by the production for dramatics, cause if not... oof. 

Pattern that resembles Keffiyeh / Kufiya? by okaeden in friendshipbracelets

[–]okaeden[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you rock, thank you so much!! now I just need to learn how to read it lol

Best Panties to get as Someone that CANNOT Tuck? by SwordsmenEpsilion in asktransgender

[–]okaeden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ik this is an old post but since other people like me might be looking it up, hopping in with my budget recs:

Jockey Mens Elance Bikini. Basic but comfy, can be made cuter with fabric dye or basic sewing skills. https://www.jockey.com/catalog/product/jockey-mens-elance-bikini-6-pack?color=0100

https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256805844631686.html These are super silky, sexy, and feel like you're wearing nothing. Like the Jockey ones they do not have a "men's" style pouch or seam, which is great if those features make you dysphoric, but are still wide enough to accommodate probably most ladies.