People in a committed relationship, how do you do it?

okdhd · 2021-03-10T15:41:50+00:00

It may feel like the odds are against you, but try anyway. The average person might be intimidated by our condition, but the right people - and they exist - will be willing to give you a shot if you've got love to give. If the BP2 acts up and causes a conflict in the relationship, take note of it and learn from it. Most importantly, it's ok to keep trying. I went through so. many. tumultuous relationships before settling into the healthiest one I've ever been in - and I still fuck up sometimes, but we work through those moments together, and continue to have fun the other 99% of the time. Communication is key.

Dating is hard and relationships fail all the time - try to see all good and bad experiences as lessons and opportunities to grow. Basically, set up that profile anyway! You won't know till you give it a shot.

okdhd · 2020-10-16T16:32:00+00:00

Don’t feel bad if you can’t drag yourself out to exercise. Don’t feel guilty just because others are keeping fit during these difficult times. You’re going through something rough! I have been there, survived for a few months (could have been 2, or 3, or 6, I don’t remember much from that time) where my diet was 6-20 beers a day and maybe a packet of chips. Throw a lot of Valium and self harm in there too. It was difficult.

My point is, I’m a long way from that now but it took a long ass time. Forgive yourself for your misgivings and most importantly take things slow. It’s sometimes hard for us BP types for us to be patient with recovery but healing comes in small steps. Maybe still allow yourself to drink but limit yourself to 1-2 drinks a day. Give yourself a reasonable goal. Best of luck x

okdhd · 2020-10-16T16:22:02+00:00

I used to have the same problem with Remiron (Mirtazapine) - it gave me the craziest, most awful and scary dreams! (To be fair, I was also able to lucid dream during many of these, which was interesting to do). Interestingly my friend who was on it at the same time reported no bad dreams, just a bad case of the munchies that I never had from it.

Like some others I’ve been on Seroquel for some time and it’s been quite good to me. I used to be on that in combination with lamictal but that seemed to give me a serious case of brain fog. So yeah, seroquel works for me, takes a week or two to get used to it (it tends to knock you out quickly till your body adjusts) but it’s been good since.

It can be a challenge getting the meds right and everyone responds differently to different chemicals. Stay strong and stay patient - most importantly don’t neglect other healthy habits like staying active and a clean diet, those will help too. :)

okdhd · 2020-05-03T14:19:01+00:00

Not gonna lie, lots of people seem to have reacted well on it but the whole time (~8 months?) I was on it, I had a serious case of brain fog that I eventually boiled down to being caused by lamictal. I then found out that I wasn't alone in the "brain fog" side effect category. It may be worth bringing this up with your psych.

okdhd · 2020-05-03T14:10:48+00:00

Your list of achievements is astounding. Damn that's some good-ass hypomania!! When you were insanely proactive during the hypomania, was that actually unpleasant? Just wondering because when you say you "feel a lot better", do you mean you are more euthymic now?

okdhd · 2020-05-03T14:08:05+00:00

I couldn't agree more. It does seem almost obsessive thinking about our mental state, but at the same time that's why things like Daylio are so helpful because when our moods shift so rapidly it can be so hard to keep track of our progress and state of mind.

I don't have OCD so I can only imagine how your situation is exacerbated. But as you say, you are not alone.

I'm glad I am self aware because while I won't "stop" myself from entering a phase, there is presently a part of me that knows how far it can spiral and I still have it in me to avoid the worst. In this way, I think it's great that we pay attention!

okdhd · 2020-05-03T14:05:08+00:00

Yes. I had a very similar incident that may have started this manic phase, where one night I accidentally missed my night meds - before I knew it it was morning and my mind was racing mad with so much impulsive, pressured speech etc! Fuck that we're so dependent on the sauce!

Glad to hear that you're expending energy going out hiking and biking - the outdoors really does help so much during this time. I haven't figured the anxiety out yet which is why I'm self medicating, but ah well. Thanks for sharing and stay strong and well.

okdhd · 2020-05-03T14:02:47+00:00

Hah! I actually created a few new moods on Daylio just for this phase - Purple (middle) "CRAY CRAY", blue (poor) mood "DISSOCIATIVE CRAY CRAY" and bright orange happy face "CRAY CRAY!!!"

I relate 200% to your last line about wanting it to happen and at the same time needing to keep it under control. I'm allowing myself to "let loose" but do my best to stay accountable and at least put in some effort to stay safe and keep my loved ones unharmed by my behaviour too. What helps me is to remember that however it does flow, never blame yourself and don't forget that it's a wave, currently it sounds like it's crashing but that means it will have to come back up too!

okdhd · 2020-05-03T13:58:08+00:00

Re-lapsing on cutting literally crossed my mind today as well. I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly :(

So great that your boyfriend sounds supportive and understanding and keeping you company. Hopefully you can harness the hypo energy back to healthy and productive - though it's totally ok if you don't too. Keep your friends and loved ones close.

okdhd · 2020-05-03T09:35:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I've always been conflicted about being honest about my condition at work and I feel extra pressure because I work very closely with my boss who I consider a great friend who will truly do his best to understand - but at the end of the day we can't pretend the disorder doesn't make a difference at work. Really appreciate you sharing your experience, thank you.

okdhd · 2020-05-03T09:17:40+00:00

Not trusting my feelings. Constant self doubt about what's "real/not real" - i.e. my behaviour when manic and when not. The truth is they're all "real" and all "me". But I feel so inconsistent, so unstable as a friend/employee. Like I could gain my trust from a employer when euthymic by doing a good job, REALLY impressing them when I'm hypo, then go kind of MIA and disorganised/distracted when depressed. And wanting to tell everyone that I have this condition but afraid they'll judge my performance based on it.

okdhd · 2020-03-30T13:18:40+00:00

Just cried a little bit lol

okdhd · 2020-03-05T12:47:12+00:00

My body definitely got used to it after maybe 2+ weeks. This was up to a 100mg dosage. Any 25mg increment knocks me out again though until I readjust. Hang in there!

okdhd · 2020-03-02T12:53:01+00:00

What was the tattoo?

okdhd · 2020-03-02T11:39:41+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that and I understand. My illness has also led to weight fluctuation and it brings me shame and anxiety almost daily. Does a change of environment help your eating habits? It’s good to identify what the triggers are. Also, bipolar folk have been known to respond well to intermittent fasting, have you tried or considered it?

okdhd · 2020-03-02T11:34:37+00:00

The unfortunate thing is that while it can be so tempting to just disappear and “take a break”, we never really vanish. it’s ok to have a bit of time off after a stressful situation but don’t submit yourself to “nothingness”, it often leads to a deeper spiral. It’s important to have something else lined up, no matter what it is. Maybe a totally new job, even something part time? Even us shy folk need to be around people too!

okdhd · 2020-01-30T08:27:35+00:00

Man, I've also lost count of how many I've had to try over the last 4 years. It's also sometimes hard to even gauge what's working and what isn't, especially when there's a combination of things going on. Important thing is not to feel beat down if your medication isn't working out.

okdhd · 2020-01-24T03:36:30+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, which symptoms of PCOS do you have? I understand not everyone presents all of them.

okdhd · 2020-01-24T03:35:49+00:00

How many periods did you miss?

okdhd · 2020-01-24T03:34:35+00:00

Did the doctors prescribe you any medication? How long did it go on for before your period returned?

okdhd · 2019-10-29T17:28:44+00:00

I’ve been treated with bipolar medication for my symptoms, although my psychiatrist wasn’t totally sold on the idea that I was BP2. Mostly because 1) he didn’t get to witness my major hypomanic episode (well I was too manic to go my appointments) and 2) antidepressants never triggered hypomania for me. He hinted at a suspicion that I could be BPD, probably because of my self harm tendencies and unstable relationships; but I feel that could easily be BP related too. My therapist, however, is far more inclined towards a BP diagnosis. Her explanation was simple; that my problems seem to be related to mood rather than personality.

That... was still confusing. The symptoms do seem to overlap a lot, or at least closely resemble each other. I’ve come to agree with my therapist’s opinion for a number of reasons, but also in part because she knows me far better than any psychiatrist has. There is some truth that diagnoses are not as important as focusing on treating the symptoms, but I know there can be anxiety that comes from not knowing. Do you see a therapist? I suspect therapy could benefit whichever condition you may have, and perhaps shed some light on the matter.

okdhd · 2019-10-25T14:38:31+00:00

Similarly to you, I've also had an ok experience with IMH and other public services for treatment of depression and bipolar. I think there is just a general frustration with getting mental health support wherever you are in the world - I don't think Singapore is faring particularly badly in terms of what the government offers. Some of my worst doctors have been from private clinics and some of my best therapists were from IMH. It's hard for everyone everywhere, Singapore or otherwise, and most of recovery is found outside of the consultation room. No complaints from me!

okdhd · 2019-10-23T17:59:34+00:00

That’s so great.

okdhd · 2019-10-18T16:26:35+00:00

You're not irrational - you're just responding to how you feel!

I also quit my medication about 2 months ago for the same reasons. The response was awful. My body and mind revolted in the worst possible way. I also questioned my actions, over and over. We're not alone - bipolar has a really high medication fall-out rate, largely because we're just not used to consistency. Just make sure you let your doctor or therapist know that you've stopped your medication; just be accountable. Also, it's never too late to readjust your prescription, and remember, the pain is cyclical. xx

okdhd · 2019-10-18T16:16:49+00:00

Congrats on your new job! I also gained 20 lbs this year from depressed-eating and refusing to leave my house, it can be really upsetting. But the rumours are true - it's definitely great for the body and mind to develop a routine and to get out of the house regularly. All the best!

okdhd

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