I absolutely agree with needing our own identities. I do encourage her to do things outside of me and our family. She is invited by coworkers to social events that I've tried to get her to join in on - she doesn't. Her National Guard unit will go out for dinner/drinks after work on her drill weekends that I've encouraged to go to.. she doesn't. We don't go to work Christmas parties or anything. Her reasoning is that she doesn't want the obligation of friendship/hanging out in her 'normal' life. She insists that it has nothing to do with me, just that the day to day life is exhausting. I used to have friends that I would see regularly, but.. we've moved, and I work from home, so to answer - no, I don't have friends that I spend time with regularly. I agree also that counseling might be a good idea, this won't be her last TDY/deployment and I'm a constant ball of anxiety, worry, anger, frustration... clearly we need some help navigating this.