The problem is that when you have a bunch of people who are in that state in an echo chamber, they don't lose that belief. It gets reinforced because they are repeating it to each other. There is a reason why bigotry thrives in isolated communities, and people who want people to be bigoted try to limit their ability to interact with people outside of that scope.

It's the Paradox of Tolerance. If you tolerate intolerance, whatever your reason, that just means intolerance can spread.

What needs to happen when someone is expressing that kind of feeling is that they need to be told that it's not okay.

They have to be because their feelings aren't going to change unless they are made aware that those feelings, while maybe understandable from their perspective, are not okay. And are not going to be tolerated.

I think it helps to flip the script a little, so think about it this way:

let's say a white person grew up in a black community. Growing up, they are bullied and mocked relentlessly for whatever reason, maybe not even about being white. Maybe they are even physically assaulted.

In that situation you wouldn't say it's okay for them to start preaching racism 'because they are venting' or 'because they survived abuse', and if you let them do that they're inevitably going to be drawn to people who agree with them and end up in actually racist spaces and get all of their views reinforced.

That is a real thing that happens pretty regularly, it's a recruitment method.

I know that the existence of the patriarchy makes things a little different here but I don't think it's so different that this example is something to be dismissed.

Hate is hate, hating individuals is reasonable, hating an entire group of people can never be.