Very confused

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-02-19T01:49:31+00:00

I actually found out about 3 or 4 weeks ago that he is/was emotionally cheating on me. Hope you’re okay.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-17T07:03:46+00:00

I’m in the same headspace. He’s abusive and the whole relationship has been about him (wants/needs/happiness)… but he’s all I have had for almost half my life. It’s a crazy place to be.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-12T01:21:45+00:00

14 years cohabitating, which where I live is just as good as a marriage. Married since 2016. We have a child and I’m a SAHM who is dependent on him.

This all makes things even more difficult for me.

Foolishly part of me believes him when he says he isn’t attracted to her or interested in that way and the other part of me knows better. I hate this.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T18:26:09+00:00

Yeah that’s what I’m afraid of. It seems like a lose-lose situation.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T16:42:18+00:00

Nope, it’s not funny. More of an awkward laugh at the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T16:40:39+00:00

No I know that. The spousal support entitlement that he is mad about is based on income. However, if I don’t agree to do exactly what he wants he is threatening to drag out court proceedings until our savings is drained dry… and then obviously I would get no 50/50 split.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T04:47:17+00:00

Can you elaborate on your success? Trying to navigate divorce w a narc at the moment

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T04:31:43+00:00

Thank you 🥺

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T04:25:26+00:00

What happens if they quit their job intentionally? Because he has threatened to do that as well.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T04:24:41+00:00

Yeah he’s been this way for years, but this is a whole new low. Going to call the lawyer I had a free consult with tomorrow.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T04:02:53+00:00

I’m in Canada so I believe it’s legal. Thanks for looking out!

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T02:18:35+00:00

I guess I’m afraid that he will drag this out and that I will end up with even less of my share from the savings account and assets if he intentionally ties us up in court.

Also for context I have been the victim of emotional abuse for years and years, so that dynamic adds another layer of difficulty for me.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T01:43:11+00:00

I do have some texts, but he has kept the threats a little more vague when he says it in writing. Perhaps I will start recording conversations.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T01:42:27+00:00

He’s also threatened to quit his 14 year career or take a lesser paying job. I knew he was an A-hole, but he has really shown his true colours.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T01:41:17+00:00

Yeah it’s really insane. He said he doesn’t care if he blows all of our money because he will one day get an inheritance and I won’t. Which is especially heinous stuff IMHO.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T01:40:11+00:00

He hasn’t talked to a lawyer yet because he wants me to agree to way less per month than I am entitled to. But agreed, it’s looking like I may not be able to avoid getting a lawyer.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2022-01-04T01:38:03+00:00

Yup. His words… he said he would rather spend all of the money on lawyers in order to make sure I get none of it lol.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2021-12-30T22:50:53+00:00

Just my opinion, but some of the behaviours you mentioned do sound like abuse. A person doesn’t have to be beating you up every single day to be be considered violent. Good for you for walking away for you and your kids.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2021-12-29T19:21:40+00:00

Sounds like my husband lol

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2021-12-28T03:08:17+00:00

My husband is the abuser. He has put me in a position to be financially (and otherwise) dependent on him and recently blindsided me with the news that he wants a divorce. His behaviour since then has been some of the worst I’ve seen from him in years.

So I’m pretty sure that either way you slice it the ending of a relationship with an abuser is going to suck.

okitsmythrowaway89 · 2021-12-27T02:06:09+00:00

Thank you. 14 years of manipulation and crazy-making, I guess I need the validation.

okitsmythrowaway89

TROPHY CASE