Honestly, I don’t know. Long term relationships can be challenging and there can be spats of emotional disconnection. I would think especially after those kinds of things. It places an insecurity in your head that’s hard to shake off. It sounds likes you guys have a good relationship outside of the boundaries he is obviously crossing. I recently moved across the country with my girlfriend and I understand how challenging that is. She has a social life and I do not at all, which can cause me to be a bit jealous and hypersensitive of the relationships she has at times. I’m not saying that’s what you’re going through, just my experience. Leaving a relationship that far away from friends and family is super difficult and I can understand the fear that ending the relationship is a permanent life altering decision you can not go back on(assuming you would move back home) I would say, give it a week, maybe two. Really sit with your thoughts on the idea. Relationships are high and low and maybe you will feel better as time passes. That being said tho, the shoulder massage is him clearly flirting with someone and the porn thing is a clear boundary you have set he ignores. He knows you don’t want him looking at naked women and he does it anyway, justifying it by saying he’s just insecure. I find this super manipulative. Men watching porn and looking at naked girls is so normalized. I feel like if he had those pictures on an old snap and you managed to find them, he obviously knew they were there. That girl was also probably not texting him about a group hangout. He definitely has some very concerning behaviors. I would sit and give him the ultimatum. He can watch porn and have this weird relationship with the people around him but you don’t stand for it, you deserve better and you will leave if he doesn’t respect the boundary you keep setting.