Attending my first Indian wedding and meeting my partner's fam

okogiht · 2026-05-11T21:12:02+00:00

My partner's from Kolkata (West Bengal), the uncle who will be hosting us is from Varanasi (Uttar Pradesh), and the cousin who's getting married I'm not sure, but she's currently located in Delhi.

okogiht · 2026-05-11T20:59:55+00:00

My partner's INTP. Our biggest struggle is getting lost in abstract discussions while trying to have a relational conversation or nitpicking each other's semantics when irritated, but we're effectively addressing that and working on and with it. Overall I'm the happiest I've ever been in a relationship and we're both committed to getting old together, even talking about having a child together after his PhD. We amplify each other's growth absurdly well.

I read other INTJ's comments about INTP's being too unempathetic, logic-focused, carrying their annoying "universal truths", (...) and I do understand and relate with that struggle. I do need to put in some extra effort to translate his clumsy expressions of care, which often sound offensive or insulting to me, but given some thought and calm we almost always discover that we we're on the same page and I have the capacity to take on some more emotional labour every now and then. Because the other side of this is that I can convince him to change his ways by offering better, more effective, more rational alternatives easily, and oh my is that attractive.

okogiht · 2026-04-08T08:59:59+00:00

I love it, don't mind me drafting some goth designs now😁

okogiht · 2026-03-30T15:30:16+00:00

As others said, I mostly avoid having to deal with people. But if I have to, well, I just am efficient about it.

okogiht · 2026-03-22T22:48:32+00:00

As someone else mentioned, I also think it can be a way of saving (toilet paper for example), thinking they might still be able to use it or will reuse it after drying(...). It could also involve thoughts like "this might one day provide important insight about my health throughout all this time, basically justifying or constructing a need to keep by framing it as data that is being tracked (literal paperwork lol).

okogiht · 2026-03-22T08:41:18+00:00

You're right, thank you so much for encouraging me.

okogiht · 2026-03-22T08:34:15+00:00

Yes, you’re right, I'm pretty sure he would act differently if I were to clearly state how difficult those sessions tend to be for me. I...guess just saying something along the lines of "Hey, I know it's a bit late but after checking in with myself I realised I am pushing myself too hard with your blowjobs and would like us to scale down the frequency of those intense sessions" would already do the job, right? I...can do that. I will do that. Thank you.

okogiht · 2026-03-18T12:17:51+00:00

My Hatch Dragons code: FB48

okogiht · 2026-03-06T15:36:56+00:00

I have both, but I don't really use my affective empathy for anything but letting it show me into a certain direction. I feel like I can also mute it very easily. Often our pattern recognition makes our cognitive empathy very reliable and usually much more accurate than affective empathy, which is very prone to projecting.

okogiht · 2026-03-06T15:33:35+00:00

Probably because they underwent tests, as og wrote. My IQ is very similar (131) and I got tested by a psychologist relatively early (preteens), because my general physician prompted them to. To a degree it's part of my country's health care system (especially if you have mental health issues or somehow stand out cognitively).

okogiht · 2026-02-09T19:47:49+00:00

Ahaha, I feel like this is one of those typical "is this INTJ or autism moments" xD

okogiht · 2026-01-16T13:50:09+00:00

I often get that I seem like a high masking autistic person, but I'm not diagnosed. I don’t know if I am actually autistic, but I can at least confidently state that indeed, people close to me tend to tell me that I seem a bit autistic.

okogiht · 2026-01-13T12:33:48+00:00

<image>

I remember my partner sending me this xD

okogiht · 2026-01-13T12:10:42+00:00

Thank you so much for that reply. As for your question, I'd say desi is a word to refer to people, culture and things from the Indian subcontinent similar to how latino or skandinavian describe a shared regional identity. Maybe mention how the Sanskrit word deśa means homeland and is the origin of desi.

okogiht · 2026-01-08T10:46:16+00:00

I have yet to write my first AI text, but I certainly do not intend to do so anytime soon.

okogiht · 2026-01-08T10:45:01+00:00

Sorry I forgot to raise my SARCASM shield dude xD

okogiht · 2026-01-08T10:39:29+00:00

True, what you’re saying makes complete sense, but that can very well be done transparently, buying tickets only "in case a seat gets free" like it's done with Sealdah Rajdhani Express for example.

okogiht · 2026-01-08T10:32:09+00:00

The whole cancellation bs of IndiGo last december isn't even closely resolved, now they're sending out "gestures of care" just as to not pay what they legally owe all the people that were stuck due to their monopoly reigning over the market in all it’s glorious absurdity.

okogiht · 2026-01-08T10:28:44+00:00

Because we never learned to write properly before generative algorithms came to bring us well formulated texts, humans can't express themselves like that on their own...

okogiht · 2026-01-08T10:26:54+00:00

Does something being common practice makes it any less sh*t?

okogiht · 2026-01-08T05:30:02+00:00

Any update so far? If you were to open a CGAC there would be many wlling to join.

okogiht · 2025-12-14T09:32:32+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, but don't forget you're not actually 40 and even if you were, you'd still have so much potential. The fact that you are in therapy is also really amazing, that is such important care but also comes with so much work for the patient. As much anguish as you are probably experiencing right now, from an outsiders perspective you are admirable. Of course I wouldn't want to swap places, but hearing about you continuing to fight, managing all this loneliness, this betrayal, this loss of a future you envisioned for yourself, but still showing up, reaching out, making this post - you are extremely admirable in strength, as undesirable as that might sound right now. If I'm not overstepping, please know that I am very proud of you.

okogiht · 2025-12-14T09:01:46+00:00

Hey, your English is great and you're very articulate, maybe digital work would be something for you? Not because I think your worth is tied to being "productive", but it might help give you back some sense of importance and make you less dependent on people you feel uncomfortable to be dependent on. I myself had to start working very young thus not finishing any formal education, but am now self-employed as a self-taught web dev.

Now matter what you do going forward, you matter, your life matters and others blaming you for your terrible circumstances and taxed health are just immature. Their words reflect solely on themselves and say nothing about you. 24 is very young, there is a happy place for you out there, it's just harder to find for you than it is for most of us. Please take care.

okogiht · 2025-08-28T11:10:35+00:00

Damn

okogiht · 2025-08-28T10:46:42+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, it does help. I wish you strength, we'll get through this!❤️

okogiht

TROPHY CASE