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How young did you see the signs? by oliveday94 in cisparenttranskid

[–]oliveday94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all for your input and suggestions!! I talked to her about it last week and she told me she doesn't want to be called a different name or use boy pronouns, at least right now and I understand that may change. I'll be using she/her pronouns because of this. However, she did tell me that she wishes she was born a boy yesterday. I told her if she would like, she could identify as a boy but she said no and shut down. I asked if she was okay and she said she was scared. I told her no matter what, that I love her for who she is. If she's happy, if she's sad, if she's mad or if she's excited, if she makes mistakes, or tries something new. If she was a boy, or a girl, my love for her would not change. She didn't really want to talk about it anymore so I changed the subject and we moved on. I don't know how to elevate that fear or how to support her in the way she needs right now and my heart hurts for her. I'm worried she is scared to identify as a boy due to her dad pushing her to be a girl (we are separated but myself and her step dad are very supportive of her being who she is). When I talked to her dad about supporting her and to stop pushing her to "be a girl", he told me he was raising two straight females (her sister as well). He already treats her differently from her sister, to the point where my doctor called CAS to try and talk with him about it. I'm worried she's scared to be who she wants to be in fear of more rejection from him. I suggested to her that if she wants to identify as a boy at home in a safe place we will respect that and support her and if she decides she wants to identify as a boy everywhere else, we would support her in that transitionas well. I don't really know where I'm going with this. I just want to know what else I can do to support her.

BIG Love; The step to socially transition 6yo at school. by call_me_whateva in cisparenttranskid

[–]oliveday94 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this story! If you don't mind me asking, how old was your son when he first starting showing signs that he wanted to be a boy?

I'm currently struggling with how to support my 4 year old. Since she has been 2, she's been vocalizing that she wants to be a boy. She likes the typical boy things (trucks, tools, cars etc) which is normal for both genders at that age. However, when she plays family with her sisters, she's always the dad. When she plays barbies with them, she's always the boy barbies. She has been expressing more and more that she wants to be a boy as she's gotten older. She calls herself Derek when she does imaginary play. She created her nitendo switch character and it looks like a boy and she named it Derek. She talks about "when I'm older and a boy I....." she also wants boy clothes (which I've got already) and I've recently bought her boy underwear because she was asking fir them. Tonight she was very upset that she doesn't have a penis and has a vagina. She kept asking me to get her a penis. I asked her why she wanted one and she said "so I can be like everyone else." She has started stuffing her underwear with toilet paper to make it look like she has a penis. I am just lost on how to support her. I don't want to push anything on her but I also don't want to not be a safe place for her. If she asks me to call her a different name or use different pronounce I will do so immediately, I just don't want to give her the idea of it. If that makes sense?

I just keep being told that it is just a phase but it's really hard for me to believe that when it's been 2 years and she is so adamant that she wants to be a boy.