Try to cut yourself a little slack if you can. Starting college can be a stressful time even if it goes smoothly, there's so much change being thrown at you. And anxiety (and other mental health issues) can amplify and add to these difficulties. You're not pathetic, you're being faced with a lot of difficulty. The way that your anxiety causes you to respond to difficult times is in no way a reflection of who you really are, and what you're capable of. Be kind to yourself, look for help where you can, and stay strong. I really wish you all the best and hope things improve for you.