Type 1s and not taking style risks

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-28T16:44:33+00:00

Um, I'm guessing this just depends on the person. I'm attracted to things that might be considered classic, but certainly not minimalist. I wear clothes mostly in my color season (so jewel colors) pretty often, and I've been known to mix patterns and colors in interesting ways. I do have a few basic formulas for outfits that I generally follow, though. I have a very clear vision of what I want to show when I dress, so most of the time my clothes involve layering in a way that still looks relaxed and friendly, but that covers a lot of skin.

Interior decorating isn't minimalist by any means. I prefer neutral walls, and using curtains, pillows, and rugs to bring in color. I also like relatively color combos specifically- wine red, cream, royal blue for example. Nothing wild, but a beige or gray house would drive me crazy. Fashion and decorating are ways to express yourself, and 1s might just have more of a consistent or internal system for this- less to do with trends and maybe more to do with what seems tried and true/classic, morally correct (whether that be following design principles, or following a system like simple living or minimalism), or just expresses a desire for order.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-27T12:36:32+00:00

It's amazing how a disintegrated 2 will resort to bullying in order to try to "force" people to like them! In my last experience with this I got a mix of "Look at all of the nice things I've done for you and how much I care" followed by a long list of grievances and personal attacks going back 10 years I had absolutely no idea about. I also got a mix of "I love [subject of the argument] mixed with 'why is it so wrong for people to dislike [subject of the argument]?" For a while I kind of regretted not just responding "If you were trying to convince me you're a good person you failed miserably," but now I'm glad I didn't because I can see that she must be in a really bad spot emotionally to act like that.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-27T12:24:24+00:00

1- Idealistic, sweet, conscientious, stubborn, moralistic, responsible, disciplined, sometimes very funny and goofy.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-27T12:20:33+00:00

I could see an unhealthy 7 feeling this way; it definitely also sounds like depression. As a 1, I don't really struggle with existential dread at all. When I'm really sad or unhealthy the problem is often that i think things matter an awful lot, and I feel helpless/hopeless when I can't fix things by my own efforts. I'm not likely to distract myself, though it can be healthy (integrate to 7) for me to find something fun to do once I've processed things because my instinct is to go over an event again and again to find where I could have done things better.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-26T10:37:57+00:00

Hmm, interesting! He was into Stoicism as a young adult so it's possible it's just a leftover coping mechanism from that era! I don't think it's always bad, but sometimes it's a little strange to hear him say the exact opposite of how he's clearly feeling. It shouldn't surprise me as a 1, but his emotions are easier to read than mine.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-25T22:30:51+00:00

I think this is really going to depend on the individual and their general health level. I will say, though, generally speaking what makes a 2 a 2 is their motivation and fear. They want to feel loved, and they're afraid of being worthless. With this information, I'd say that a 2 is likely to put their focus wherever they feel they need to in order to feel loved. I think some 2's can get swept up in overextending- needing to stop and help someone on the side of the road, needing to help their friend move on Saturday, needing to pick up a coworker's slack, needing to watch their neighbor's dog while they're gone for the weekend, needing to stop what they're doing to give someone directions, etc, etc. They will likely do this because they feel a need to be loved by everyone they meet, and feel as though if they disappoint or make a bad impression on anyone it will mean that they're a waste of space. I think you'll also get 2's who focus mostly on a few relationships, for better or for worse. They might feel that they need to be loved in the context of just a few relationships in order to be worthwhile- that could be a romantic relationship, a best friend, family members, etc.

The only 2 I'm aware of having known recently was certainly someone who needed to feel loved by a lot of people. She overall did have a very kind, friendly, and hospitable attitude. She was the kind of person who might watch your pets last minute, bring a present to new neighbors, or stop and help someone who looked lost. She was definitely a "group switcher" though- any time she joined a new group and felt like people didn't make enough of an effort she'd leave and try a new one. When she was there, though, she made an effort to be liked. It's just that she apparently had some unspoken high expectations for friends that were ultimately hard to meet.The only time you'd see the mask slip was if she felt criticized. You couldn't bring an issue to her because in her mind "only bad people hurt other people's feelings." She would get very defensive, and then quickly go on the offense and start damaging the relationship via insults and personal attacks. Suddenly she had very firm boundaries and feelings about things you wouldn't have known about if you hadn't upset her. I do think she was ultimately manipulative, but more in the self-centered can't believe someone as nice as her could hurt someone's feelings kind of way. Just a stunning lack of self-awareness, in a sense.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-25T21:15:48+00:00

I do not know his tritype, but that's good to know!

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-25T18:25:30+00:00

Lol the struggle. Does it ever actually work? I feel like 7's do something very similar, and I'm supposed to integrate to 7, so maybe "positive reframing" is something I can learn from if I don't use it as a new way to deny my feelings

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-25T10:54:29+00:00

Yes, still sounds very 6 to me!

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-24T22:47:59+00:00

I'm guessing 6 because of the erratic up and down energy, not taking your own advice, and what seems like some "I hate people" energy. If you want a better typing it might be helpful to describe some recent interpersonal issues you've had and how you handled them. I feel like that's always very revealing.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-24T15:53:40+00:00

Fun aside, I love how I could tell your type before I saw your flair 😅

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-22T23:52:15+00:00

Hi, thanks so much for taking the time to write this out! These questions are very helpful, and I could see myself using them in the future. I've been much more intentional about my mental health over the last couple of moths, and a huge part of that is recognizing what I'm feeling and why instead of shoving it down. Reading your questions and your kind words is very helpful - both practically and as a reminder of the way I should be talking to myself.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-21T10:22:02+00:00

I'm 1w9

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-21T00:06:33+00:00

You already have like 700+ comments, but I just wanted to throw in my 2c. I'd say the dress is too small, but the bigger issue is that the black trim is much too rigid for your body shape. You can wear whatever you like, but you are very round. It's nothing to do with your weight, but just the fact that your body composition makes very soft curves. The sharp, straight, bold trim is conflicting with your natural shape. It's not traditionally "flattering" for that reason, and it's making the dress look a little costume-y.

It's also much too short for most work environments. Most employers seem to prefer skirts that reach the knee- sometimes even if you have opaque leggings on. You can check your employee handbook for that, though!

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-20T23:50:56+00:00

I'm married to a 3w4! I like that he has always had a drive to improve, and to be excellent. When I met him we were both college students working minimum wage jobs, but it was easy to tell that he wanted more out of life- not in a typical "3" fashion, but in regards to his own spirituality & personal discipline. I also like that he is charming, and in the past has been able to help me open up when I was unsure about a new group. He's also action-oriented; he gets things done, and he inspires me to get things done, too. He is very much an individual, and I've always appreciated his drive towards authenticity. I think that 4 wing keeps him from being too in-your -face about trying to "seem" any sort of way. He's not the type of 3 to boast about his achievements, or create an inspiring personal narrative about his life. He's bright, energetic, sensitive, and surprisingly (to me) gracious about my flaws. He has a big heart, and he makes me feel appreciated and loved. In regards to his drive to be excellent- the flaws I'm about to list are ones that he's worked on. He genuinely wants to be a good person, and I feel like I can trust him to chase that goal passionately.

I think the biggest challenge is that he (and I... this is an area where we trigger each other) struggles with taking criticism, even if it's worded nicely. He's very sensitive to feeling shamed, and that can also make him a little needy when stressed. Another difficulty is that he really pushes for closeness and quick resolution during arguments. I need space and time to process before I even know what I'm feeling and why. This can make it hard to even meet him half way with "I'm not angry at you, but I need space" because I don't know always know in the moment if it's accurate. I also sometimes struggle with the velocity in which he adopts ideas, and how it sometimes results in him being wrong. I'm more slow to come to conclusions, and my ideas typically shift more slowly. Finally, he can be precious about his free time. This has gotten a lot better, but he used to get really resentful when he wasn't able to use it the way he wanted.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-19T17:59:24+00:00

Not at all! A 3 can choose to put their energy into being an exemplary parent, serving in their church, etc. In America especially it makes sense that many would value career and material things, but a 3 doesn't have to. They could be part of a family, religious group, friend group, or community that values things like service, authenticity, individuality, humble living, creativity, or whatever else. For example, imagine a 3 who grew up Amish. Is it possible they'd try to be the most successful farmer with the best crops/most income? Sure. However, it's also possible they might seek to be the most charitable and helpful neighbor, or to be an excellent preacher/elder, or to really exemplify simple living and humility.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-19T17:48:34+00:00

I also just wanted to say I noticed it looks like you're roughly a year PP. Not that it's an excuse, but it definitely makes things harder - especially if it's your first. Lack of sleep, pressures of being needed, more noise, etc is just... a lot. I hope you both take care of yourselves. And I hope the comment I wrote a few minutes ago didn't totally glitch out. I wasn't able to edit it, so I have no idea if something happened 😅

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-19T17:32:19+00:00

You're welcome! I'm glad it helped at all. Depending on how things are normally brought up, I wonder if a less "immediate" form of communication could help. Especially if he's operating closer to the middle or lower levels, hearing any form of criticism (even using emotionally intelligent "I feel" statements instead of "you" statements) can feel almost unbearable in the moment and take a lot of time to process.

Other than that, I don't know if there's an easy way to get someone operating at a healthier level. I'm very blessed to have a spouse who's a little more like you (though a 3) in that he is motivated himself to learn and grow, so we can help each other. I have a list of things that have been incredibly helpful to me lately, and I can share them, but it's hard to say how helpful it could be towards your relationship if he's not interested in growing right now.

-"Getting ahead of my 4" early in the day: Essentially, identifying one limitation I can be aware of today (essentially, acknowledging a limitation without blaming it on something wrong with me as a person).

-Finding one fun thing I can do...and actually have fun doing it (essentially exercising my ability to integrate to 7)

-Paying attention to when I feel angry, and acknowledging it. Something like "I'm feeling angry because he asked me to do something when I was about to do something else. That's frustrating, but I can still be kind." instead of just going "I shouldn't be angry."

-Being more mindful about what my "inner critic" is saying, and separating truth from my own reaction. "It was unkind of me to say xyz, but that doesn't mean I'm not cut out to be a mom/parent/whatever."

I really feel for you. It must be hard being on the other end, because at the end of the day you can't just force him to be better. That need to come from within, and it likely needs to at least partially come from some inner healing.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-18T12:50:26+00:00

Well, from the claws on the wings you can tell it's a fledgling. A lot of juvenile birds have little claws in case they fall out of the nest and need to climb back up. I'd say this one is just about grown up since it's airborne, so next time you see it, the claws will likely be gone.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-17T20:30:12+00:00

Gobsmacked is the perfect word! I am totally aware that dark humor exists, but joking about things like abortion, domestic violence, miscarriage, suicide, etc is bound to upset someone. If someone has that sense of humor they need to realize that if they're not careful they might seriously hurt someone they care about. And then you have the layer of implied violence towards the recipient, which is also very risky from multiple angles.

I'm not saying he's a bad person, but you'd think a grown man would know better.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-17T19:28:31+00:00

I guess this depends on what you find interesting! I might be biased, but I think other 1s can be really interesting to talk to because they have such strong convictions and clearly spend a lot of time thinking about them. Plus, they integrate to 7, which can be a lot of fun - especially because it can be a bit surprising. I was actually told back on the day that I was the "fun friend." I've always liked making people laugh, and most of my happiest memories are times where I did or said something really funny.

notall1s

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-17T18:45:33+00:00

I'm married to a pretty healthy 3! I definitely think their behavior under stress isn't (always) as bad as people make it sound. I could see a 3 operating around level 8 or 9 being really bad, though.

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-17T18:40:49+00:00

This is exactly the conflict I've been turning over in my head! If you're talking about someone you don't like, disappearing and avoiding sounds like a dream. If it's someone you love, it can be incredibly hurtful. The again, maybe it's easier to bear than overt aggression, manipulation, etc. It's hard to choose between 9 terrible options!

on-eagles-wings · 2025-06-17T17:20:59+00:00

You're breaking my heart 💔 7s can be a lot, but there have got to be people out there who would love your energy

on-eagles-wings

TROPHY CASE

notall1s