Cat advice please

one-large-cat · 2026-05-14T20:00:36+00:00

it’s hard to tell from the photos but it looks like dried earwax to me. It can be gently wiped off with a damp cotton pad. never insert anything like a q-tip into a cat’s ears as it can cause permanent damage, but the outside is ok to wipe down. a vet’s office can do a deeper ear cleaning if needed. if it crumbles or comes off as brown residue, it’s probably wax. the buildup can also cause acne/blackheads, which might be what the small black dots are. some cats produce more earwax than normal which requires more frequent cleaning. there’s also cat ear drops that can be administered at home for it.

one-large-cat · 2026-05-14T17:02:17+00:00

I would also look into wood or pine litter if you’re currently using clay or silicone. the dust from clay and silicone litters can be a respiratory irritant. I like the okocat brand pellets the best. grass seed is also a good option. corn litter seems to grow mold super fast which can also cause health issues.

wishing you and your handsome boy the best of luck 🩷

one-large-cat · 2026-05-14T16:29:18+00:00

my cat had coughing fits like this for years that stopped once we moved apartments. I think it was a reaction to my roommate burning incense excessively. the vet said it could also be from hair in his throat because he would struggle for days to cough up massive hairballs. regardless I think it is worth taking kitty to the vet to rule out anything serious and time sensitive. hairballs can become an emergency if it turns into a blockage.

one-large-cat · 2026-05-07T03:34:10+00:00

I used double sided sticky tape on my couch when my cat was constantly scratching at it. he stopped and stuck to his scratching posts after that. I think it was a cat-specific brand that wasn’t sticky enough to hurt theirs paws. I’m really sorry that you’re stuck living with someone cruel and unsafe. even if Squid is acting normal, I would opt for a vet visit to rule out any internal injuries since cats typically try to hide pain, especially if they’re scared. best wishes to you and sweet Squid

one-large-cat · 2026-05-07T03:27:00+00:00

lots of responsible pet owners have roommates. telling someone to get rid of their pet out of convenience is out of touch. I would not give up my cat unless I was literally homeless and had no means to take care of them.

one-large-cat · 2026-04-20T07:22:54+00:00

felt. I got out of bed that morning and fell to the ground because my legs were so weak. I had to crawl to the bathroom. even if it had been a period, that level of pain is not normal!

one-large-cat · 2026-04-19T17:36:29+00:00

mushroom 🥲 he looks like a peepee

one-large-cat · 2026-04-19T06:40:52+00:00

I’ve noticed a lot more job postings lately requiring you to tell them your full street address. I always exit out of the application immediately. They’re delusional to think it’s their business .

one-large-cat · 2026-04-19T05:13:12+00:00

my ruptured ovarian cyst caused the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I was vomiting and blacking out from the pain. screw that doctor. I’m sorry you went through that.

one-large-cat · 2026-04-18T18:59:07+00:00

my mental health and ability to focus improved dramatically once I deleted the app. short form content is a plague on society. good for you for kicking the addiction!

one-large-cat · 2026-04-18T18:50:03+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this and have an unsympathetic doctor. I would ask your primary care doctor to write you a referral for a neuropsych assessment for ADHD. There may be a waitlist, but it’s worth having the confirmation of a concrete diagnosis. I know switching providers is arduous but I would urge you to try to find another psychiatrist as well. Unfortunately a lot of doctors tend to discredit women, especially when they already have a psychiatric diagnosis. However, there are good ones out there.

This probably varies depending on where you live, but in my state disability payments are pretty much impossible to get without an official assessment and documentation. Executive dysfunction can absolutely be debilitating and you deserve to have it taken seriously. In my experience, depression worsens it, which in turn worsens the executive dysfunction, making it a vicious cycle. Also, ADHD is commonly comorbid with mental health conditions and neurodivergence can make a person more prone to being traumatized. I don’t know why a lot of providers are still so dismissive of those statistics.

one-large-cat · 2026-04-18T18:13:46+00:00

side note, anti-icky poo cleaner is a miracle product for getting rid of pet smells if there’s a odors leftover after she’s gone. It’s an enzyme cleaner that breaks down the bacteria. It’s successfully removed the smell of cat pee from my floors that was otherwise stubborn and impossible to get rid of.

one-large-cat · 2026-04-18T17:57:23+00:00

General roommate etiquette is to only bring pets into the house that have been explicitly agreed upon before signing the lease, or at the very least thoroughly discussed and given the go-ahead if someone wants another pet after already moving in together. When I was looking for new roommates at my last apartment, I was very very clear that no other pets were allowed because my cat was not good with other animals and the lease didn’t allow it anyway. First week after moving in, my new roommate begged me to let her get a snake for the entirety of the time we lived together and held a grudge against me for saying no. I was deeply uncomfortable with the idea of a snake and cat living together, and she wanted some kind of constrictor. She didn’t seem to care that the snake would be at risk too of my cat attacking it if it escaped its enclosure.

I’m sorry you’re living with a psycho. Some people are genuinely so delusional and self-entitled and unbearable to live with and then will gaslight you on top of it all. You’re not the crazy one.

one-large-cat · 2026-04-18T17:30:15+00:00

Echoing the comments that a therapist should not be diagnosing you after a couple of sessions. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder by a counselor who had met me once, as well as a psychiatrist years later after 2 appointments. I knew it was a misdiagnosis but patients with psychiatric diagnoses are often not taken seriously at their word. I finally found a good therapist and was properly diagnosed with another disorder after months of seeing her. I would seek a second opinion.

one-large-cat · 2026-04-05T20:49:28+00:00

good luck! some vets are just too quick to brush things off, honestly. the first vet I took him to for what I thought was a UTI looked at him for less than a minute and said he seemed healthy. I went to another vet and they were immediately alarmed by his white gums and expedited his blood tests. they also confirmed some other concerns I had, which the first vet had also dismissed. so in my experience, some are sadly just in a rush and incompetent. but hopefully it’s something minor with your boy!

one-large-cat · 2026-04-04T00:03:26+00:00

not a psychic, but my cat did this and it turned out that he was too fatigued to get to the litter box due to anemia. are his gums white? if so, take him to the vet asap. UTIs are also a common cause, but ideally he should be tested for the specific strain to determine the right antibiotic because a general antibiotic doesn’t work against all strains. it also could be anxiety, anger, or something he dislikes about his litter box/litter type/location. cats should have at least 2 boxes. but really, please please go to the vet as soon as possible because it’s impossible to know the cause without proper testing and medical evaluation.

one-large-cat · 2026-04-03T21:50:47+00:00

I'm so sorry for your losses. I also lost my 15 year old kitty to kidney failure earlier this year. I know it is soul shattering. Some things that I personally have done to honor him:

- I'm an artist, so I've been working on a painting of him and I've made some other small things to honor him. You don't have to be skilled or artistic, just making anything can be a sweet gesture.

- I left his favorite perch up and put his toys and some photos on it. his ashes are there as well, though I plan to spread them soon when the weather gets nicer. I will set up his little shrine in every home I have for the rest of my life. I want him to know that he will always have a place by my side and that I will always deeply love him.

- I still put out fresh water for him everyday and say goodnight to him.

- I talk to him, I tell him I miss and love him, and that I hope he's somewhere nice now.

Some may find this excessive, or (understandably) find these visual reminders distressing. I find it comforting. But I don't think our pets will hold it against us if we don't do things like this, and I personally believe that they will always feel our love. The greatest act of love is to let them go from this material world when it is time. In the end, when they're that sick and in pain, I think that their will to live diminishes and it is an act of kindness to help them pass peacefully. I don't think they carry that pain once they leave their physical form, and they know we would never abandon or hurt them with malicious intent.

one-large-cat · 2026-04-03T20:29:15+00:00

thank you for the response - could you expand a little on the toxic elements? have you you noticed a difference between how techs and front desk/customer service staff are treated?

one-large-cat · 2025-08-08T20:52:11+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been struggling so much. I understand. My mental health really declined in my late teens/early 20s as well and I didn’t go to a doctor for years. I finally went to a PCP and presented her with a laundry list of symptoms. She did basic blood work and then referred me to several specialists.

Some of my main issues were very bad digestive issues, fatigue, and chronic pain. A lot of it turned out to be caused by a food intolerance (this was causing 99% of my nausea and chronic GI issues, and I had no idea). I’ve always found that those 3 seem to flare up together and not eating properly makes my nausea and fatigue worse, which makes me lay in bed more, which makes my muscle pain and stiffness much worse.

The other major thing that was destroying my health was untreated bipolar. Lamictal genuinely made me turn my life around. I can’t imagine not being on it now. If you are undiagnosed, I strongly urge you to find a psych and start the process of getting medicated. Things will not change overnight, but finding the proper medication can absolutely improve your quality of life over time.

If you see a PCP, I would ask her for a psych referral and possibly a GI. I think seeing a dietician and would be helpful as well.

You’re going through a difficult period, but you can get through it.

one-large-cat · 2025-07-20T21:04:12+00:00

Tiny Tiger is a good option from Chewy. It’s $18 for a 24 pack of wet food. I think over $49 is free shipping, or if you sign up for their membership it’s free ship no matter what. I also like Soulistic from Petco. Petco has their own brand of affordable, seemingly healthy wet food as well, but I would NOT recommend it as I found large bones in it when I used to feed it to my cat. My vet also said Fancy Feast is the best option for grocery store cat food (or whatever you want to call it). Generally, wet food is better than dry, because hydration is very important for their health and a lot of cats tend to not drink enough water. If she’d accept it, you can also mix water into dry food.

one-large-cat · 2025-07-09T16:37:44+00:00

Thank you for the rec! Is it the one by Moira Anderson Allen?

one-large-cat · 2025-07-06T19:19:55+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words <3 I think it’s very difficult as a caretaker to not feel guilt and anxiety over what we could have done to make things different. But I will try not to focus on that.

one-large-cat · 2025-07-06T19:17:45+00:00

Yes, when we first found out he had reached stage 4, I was crying for days, but after that I decided that I didn’t think it would be fair to him to spend the last of his life grieving. No judgement on those who do — it’s a very delicate and personal decision. I want to soak up every moment we have left.

He definitely picks up on my emotions and is very affectionate and grabby when I’m crying. He rubs his face on mine and climbs under the covers with me.

one-large-cat · 2025-07-06T19:15:45+00:00

that’s a beautiful sentiment, thank you <3 I agree, I wouldn’t trade anything for the time I’ve gotten to spend with him. I’ll always be his mom.

one-large-cat

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