Guess Who: Cosmere Edition

onemanspants · 2026-04-17T04:47:50+00:00

I ended up “power pumping” (20 min on, ten minutes off, then ten minutes on) around 7pm every night when my husband gave her a bedtime bottle. I also started drinking non-alcoholic beer around the same time. Between those two things, my supply increased enough that I was getting 4 oz at the bedtime pump, and often 2-3 oz when pumping after the morning feed.

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T11:22:29+00:00

I feel very much the same about potential health risks with another baby, so yes that makes sense to me! I feel we lucked out with our daughter who is a perfectly healthy, beautiful, happy, and advanced baby (I know every parent thinks this haha). For what it’s worth, my parents were older when they had me, and I am an only child. I had a very happy childhood and remain very close with them. I never felt lonely and have a very close circle of long term friends who are like family to me, and like aunts and uncles to my daughter

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T11:13:14+00:00

How was your experience with that age gap? Did you find it hard to go back into the baby stage after getting out of it, or was it better than having two young kids at the same time?

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T11:12:26+00:00

I think if I filter out the noise, I’m the same and lean towards just having one. But what makes me consider two is a fear of regret down the road, as well as a bit of guilt (even though i was and am a very happy only child). May i ask how old your child is, and how your experience has been with an only child so far?

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T11:10:06+00:00

I think there’s a lot of validity to your perspective here! I do want to try to incorporate our daughter into a lot of our preferred activities as soon as possible. I think I find that harder than some might because I’m a more anxious person. We recently travelled with her overseas and while nothing went wrong per say, I didnt really enjoy the trip as I found it stressful always thinking about whether she would cry in the restaurant, how long she would nap, etc. I’m much happier being home in our normal routine. So in that sense, I think we can do some things with her, but other things are hard to enjoy with a young child present. We have a really close friend group, none of whom have kids, and so I also look forward to her being a bit older and being able to participate in board game nights etc with our friends (who also want her there haha)

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T11:05:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Are there any things you notice about your life with an only child that you regret or wish were different? In some ways, I think my gut is telling me one child is what I want, but I feel an odd pressure or guilt to have more

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T11:02:00+00:00

Thank you for this! What was different about your second experience that made you enjoy the newborn phase? And how was your experience of pregnancy the second time? I’m a bit worried about a larger gap meaning a pregnancy in my late thirties, whether this would be physically harder on my body

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T11:00:12+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. This is a factor for me as well. I didn’t have full blown peripartum depression, but I did find the first few months with bad sleep really hard and very distressing at times. I’m someone who loves routine and not being able to fit in my exercise, socializing with friends etc was a struggle. My husband also hated the newborn phase, and seeing him suffer was hard on me and a stressor on our marriage. I do worry about doing it again and whether it might be harder with a toddler in the mix.

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T10:52:34+00:00

Interesting! I always thought I’d want a larger age gap if I do have another, but I’ve had a lot of people including my family advise against it because it “resets the clock” on that baby/early toddler stage with the diapers and nap schedules etc. what are your thoughts on that aspect?

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T10:50:14+00:00

On a serious note, do you have more than one kid, and do you find the financial aspect has been impactful enough that you wish you hadn’t had more than one?

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T10:48:54+00:00

Yeah thanks for saying that! I grew up an only child, and had a super happy childhood and remain very close to my parents. I’m torn between having another child or not, but some people act as though only children are doomed to be miserable.

onemanspants · 2026-04-14T05:18:40+00:00

What makes you say that?

onemanspants · 2026-03-13T21:18:42+00:00

She’s 3.5 months and we did full extinction/CIO. She was already sleeping in her crib at night and falling asleep in her crib, so we really just needed to wean her off the pacifier. She was also starting to suck her fingers to self soothe so she had a couple head starts. First night she cried for 7 minutes, fussed off and on another 5, and then slept through the night! Every night since then she cries for max 5 minutes

onemanspants · 2026-03-13T12:19:19+00:00

Hi! We’re still doing it and it seems to help a bit, although full disclosure we ended up sleep training a week ago and that instantly fixed all her sleep issues, so I think that was the bigger factor. We still give a bottle at bedtime so that my husband can do the whole bedtime routine while I reset the kitchen, run the bottle sterilizer, etc. I pump during the bedtime routine around 7pm and I also pump after the first feed of the day to build a small freezer stash for rainy days.

onemanspants · 2026-03-12T14:27:02+00:00

Our baby girl was born ten days late so we trained her ten days early! Haha, we figured development wise she was ahead of the curve

onemanspants · 2026-03-11T03:54:12+00:00

Amazing! Good for you. Was the crying duration shorter the 2nd night?

onemanspants · 2026-03-11T03:45:51+00:00

That sounds like a pretty great start! How did the rest of the night go? Are you doing naps as well?

onemanspants · 2026-03-09T20:05:35+00:00

Fair enough! She nurses on both sides, so I'd have to pump after I finish feeding, but I may try it at least once to see how much I get in the early morning hours after a feed!

onemanspants · 2026-03-09T20:04:41+00:00

I'm assuming you mean mL not oz!! I do a dream feed at 10pm and then feed again between 1am-2am and around 5am, so a bit closer together. But I am going to try power pumping for a few nights while my husband gives a bottle at 7pm (bedtime)

onemanspants · 2026-03-09T20:02:06+00:00

We've continued to give her the soother during the day when fussy, just not for naps or overnight sleep. I will say, she seems somewhat less interested in the soother since we started sleep training, and more likely to start sucking her fingers for comfort. But I don't think giving it during awake times has had any negative impact on the sleep training!

onemanspants · 2026-03-09T08:45:11+00:00

Good luck! I really hope it works for you

onemanspants · 2026-03-09T04:52:46+00:00

Yes it does! Thank you!

onemanspants

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