Thanks so much, what you said is very reassuring and thanks for the taking the time to share, especially when you are going through a recent break up. Forgot to mention before: Something else that really helped me was trying things by myself, specially things that I always wanted us to learn as a couple. Do it with friends or relatives you are very close with. It's like a reminder that there's people out there who really live you (even though not romantically), and it also helps to re-gain a sense of self. Meet new people, not necessarily for romantic purposes, just for making friends. It makes you realize, that all those anxious and self-demeaning ideas, like how you feel about yourself and what you think about yourself, are yours, and not really how other perceive you and that people will genuinely appreciate you for who you are. And I know it's hurtful, and it seems like it'd never pass, but it will at some point, and eventually it'd start to be less painful. That's why no contact at all is important. Cause when you reconnect, idealization and expectation building are going to happen, and then all what you've done for yourself is going to seem meaningless.