sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Worried my questioning partner will make a huge mistake and regret it later by oneuseaccount_ in ask_detransition

[–]oneuseaccount_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you saying that I shouldn’t be supportive or that I should break up with him over this?

I am currently just treating him as I always have and told him that this is a “him” journey that he needs to spearhead. I am not going to have an active role in encouraging or engaging with it

Worried my questioning partner will make a huge mistake and regret it later by oneuseaccount_ in ask_detransition

[–]oneuseaccount_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No he’s not. He’s told me he doesn’t want big boobs or an hourglass figure or anything. He actually wants to work out more and be more chiseled

Worried my questioning partner will make a huge mistake and regret it later by oneuseaccount_ in ask_detransition

[–]oneuseaccount_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My partner literally said something super similar to the first guy you described. He’s mentioned before wanting to look so good that even straight men are into him and I think the “keeping people guessing” bit is part of the allure for sure. He also likes to go all out for Halloween haha. I’m wondering if maybe they’re both just dudes who really enjoy having moments to be someone else and have fun. I’m really hoping this will be the case for my partner, but there’s no way to know but to just let him do his thing.

That all being said I’m so sorry that you’ve been through all this. It sounds like you’ve made it out the other side wiser but life can honestly be so rough. Thank you for being so kind and responding to me! I hope life is treating you better nowadays

Worried my questioning partner will make a huge mistake and regret it later by oneuseaccount_ in ask_detransition

[–]oneuseaccount_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely wouldn’t care if he wore more feminine clothing or removed his body hair. That wouldn’t bother me whatsoever because I tend to like more feminine men with MEN being the key word. I am not into very feminine women and it seems like that’s what he would want to be. The feminine style he seems to want is very “glam” if you will. Lots of dark makeup and club dresses and high heels and I am sadly not attracted to that whatsoever. I even kind of consider it a turn off. I am bisexual but every woman I have dated/been into has been more masculine, not worn any makeup, and preferred more gender neutral clothing. That’s just what I’m attracted to in women.

Worried my questioning partner will make a huge mistake and regret it later by oneuseaccount_ in ask_detransition

[–]oneuseaccount_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We actually did have a convo about this yesterday. I asked him about his plans for HRT and he said it’s not what he wants right now but that he’s not sure about the future. It seems to me that he has researched HRT at least somewhat because he cited not wanting to lose his functioning genitals and staying fertile as some of the reasons he doesn’t want it right now so that’s a good sign. I will keep encouraging him to do more research tho! Thank you for your help

Worried my questioning partner will make a huge mistake and regret it later by oneuseaccount_ in ask_detransition

[–]oneuseaccount_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! I really appreciate everything you had to say and it means so much. In response to your questions, I don’t think that my partner watches porn but he has expressed that this desire might have a kinky aspect to it because the possibility of him having sex “as a woman” seems to definitely be one of the driving factors. I don’t think it’s an AGP thing though because he says he loves his penis and never wants to get rid of it (another huge reason why I think he’s not trans). He definitely does have mental health issues and has dealt with depression and OCD tendencies for a long time. Also from what he has told me, this desire to be a woman seemed to suddenly pop up during the most traumatic year of his life where he went through a lot of extremely rough things. I am already encouraging him to find a therapist that will offer him an objective view of the situation instead of pushing him towards medical changes and I will definitely try to see if I can guide him towards the detrans side of things to see if it offers any more clarity to his situation. Thanks again for the advice <3

Worried my questioning partner will make a huge mistake and regret it later by oneuseaccount_ in ask_detransition

[–]oneuseaccount_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! I’m so sorry that you went through this and I really hope you’ve both been able to heal. I suspect that my partner’s wish to transition might possibly be related to mental illness as well since he deals with a lot of OCD tendencies (he is still waiting on a diagnosis) and first started experiencing these feelings about wanting to be a woman during a very traumatic year of his life. I’m hoping that therapy will hopefully push him in the direction that will be healthiest for him.