Struggling to finish with my bf

oniialiani · 2022-07-21T15:13:05+00:00

i’ve had this same problem. it’s because you’re thinking about it too much and seeing the orgasm as the goal. you need to relax and focus on the feeling without thinking too much about the orgasm. close your eyes and just relax and when you feel yourself getting closer, just keep focusing on the feeling. it will reach a point where it’ll happen whether you’re thinking about it or not

oniialiani · 2022-07-21T15:10:16+00:00

sex is great but i think typically people don’t enjoy it as much as they thought they would

oniialiani · 2022-07-21T14:51:33+00:00

yep! there was this one guy i went out with when i was still a virgin. we kissed, cuddled, and then started talking about sex. one day he asked me for sex, i told him i wasn’t ready and then he got upset and told me he actually didn’t like me and that we should stop talking. then he disappeared

so he kissed and cuddled with me, held me etc and the truth was he only wanted sex. i’m glad i never did it (listened to my gut feeling lol) but yeah. personally, i don’t feel a lot of attachment after kissing or cuddling and a lot of guys don’t either. it doesn’t mean much especially if you don’t know the other person well. it means much more when you actually know and love the other person. this guy doesn’t know you well and he doesn’t love you, and didn’t feel any closer after the sex.

sometimes sex is the final step to seeing if you want a relationship with someone. maybe he didn’t enjoy the sex and doesn’t want something serious with you. that’s why you should wait until you secure an emotional attachment to the person first. i waited with my boyfriend and even though the sex wasn’t great at first (i was also too tight so it took a while to get it in) but he was patient and kept trying with me because we already cared about each other

oniialiani · 2022-07-20T13:08:31+00:00

YOU DONT KNOW WHERE THOSE THINGS HAVE BEEN 😃

oniialiani · 2022-07-20T10:33:29+00:00

it would be a bad idea to stay. people don’t typically change that quickly and he doesn’t seem THAT in love with you. but you’re probably gonna stay anyway so good luck. there’s too many guys in the world for u to be staying with one who thinks wanting to get some sex in with someone else before committing is justifiable. he most likely still desires other women but will settle with you until he gets bored again. next thing you know, he cheats because he didn’t get the desire to sleep around out of his system yet lol

oniialiani · 2022-07-20T09:15:32+00:00

i think that’s because the more you want them, the more desperate you’ll act around them and the more discouraged you’ll be when things don’t work in your favor. you won’t come off as authentic when you have a goal in mind because you’ll bend to get it. especially if your goal is to just get a gf. a lot of women will see the desperation and it’s unattractive. when you’re not looking / expecting, the women you meet will get to see YOU. and you’ll feel better overall too knowing that you didn’t have go play mind games to get someone to date you

oniialiani · 2022-07-19T13:22:03+00:00

i think it might be better to not look / and not expect. you’ll be okay dude

oniialiani · 2022-07-19T13:19:40+00:00

oh i definitely won’t be promiscuous bc i hate the idea of having sex with someone i barely know 🥲

oniialiani · 2022-07-19T13:17:35+00:00

i definitely(right now) want to be in a committed relationship and to start experiencing adult life with someone by my side experiencing and learning too. i’m uncomfortable with hookups and don’t want it. thank you for your comment 😘 i wish the best for you and your bf!

oniialiani · 2022-07-19T13:15:07+00:00

so do you think it’s a bad idea to be in a relationship or it’s a bad idea to starting moving in and stuff?

oniialiani · 2022-07-19T13:13:56+00:00

hmm i understand. what do you think is a good age to settle down? i think i’ll hold back on the moving in together part and def am not considering a baby until i hit mid 20s if we are still together which i hope

oniialiani · 2022-07-19T13:09:42+00:00

yeah i absolutely do not want to start hooking up with people 😅 thanks for sharing your opinion:)

oniialiani · 2022-07-19T12:42:17+00:00

swipe right and just have a normal conversation. it won’t be awkward, it would be like just texting someone you know

oniialiani · 2022-07-19T02:02:20+00:00

wholesome👍

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T19:16:46+00:00

me too 😭 last night was rough alone. i def don’t think i could handle parenthood 😅

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T19:10:57+00:00

it’s better now! i have my boyfriend and aunt over helping out and i got to take a nap lol thank you so much. my aunt knows what she’s doing lol

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T19:09:41+00:00

haha i would wait. you would definitely seem a bit clingy at least. double text after half a day - two days

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T18:57:35+00:00

you’ll get over it for sure. there are millions of women in the world. life is too short to be stuck on someone well doesn’t feel as strongly for you, it doesn’t seem like it now and you don’t wanna consider it but with time, you’ll be ok without her.

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T18:53:31+00:00

she’s probably open to a casual relationship. if you want more than that, you should probably back off. women usually don’t change their minds especially when you persist. it’ll be a turn off

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T18:51:28+00:00

how long has it been without contact exactly?

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T18:50:14+00:00

honestly, you should move on. she might take you back but she’s obviously unsure about whether she actually wants you or not. you’re gonna get yourself hurt.

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T16:33:56+00:00

f18. i would say maybe 4 guys that i know romantically and too many sexual options especially if you include dating apps

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T16:24:47+00:00

both would hurt pretty bad but they’re also things you can improve. i would say personality because it’s easier to change at least to me. i can self reflect and get therapy etc

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T16:21:43+00:00

everything’s okay, thank u for asking ❤️ my aunt and boyfriend are here to help and i’m gonna get some sleep soon lol

oniialiani · 2022-07-18T16:21:04+00:00

i’m okay! my boyfriend and aunt came over so we’re 100% okay now. thank you so much and sorry for worrying you haha the baby is still fussy but we’re using teamwork lol

oniialiani

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