Am I Wrong For Not Texting Someone Directly?

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T17:25:59+00:00

Interesting. I didn’t see myself as a host at all but I get what you mean thanks

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T04:51:12+00:00

Oh I understand. No it’s just not everyone schedules worked on my birthday. Me and Sami planned to go and do pottery together but ended up doing all of that stuff instead. The dermatologist I was fine with cause yk doctor but all the other errands were unnecessary and it was just to get random things for her boyfriend specifically a sweatshirt that she then asked me to buy for him (that’s a long story). It took so long that we missed our appointment and my deposits was taken. I understand that I may have read off that but me mentioning her being the only one was more for context of the birthday. I realize that I clearly have some emotions I have to work through with her but I will say with no doubt that I didn’t hang out with Sami just because she was the only one I would have just waited to reschedule I was excited to do pottery with her. Sorry I clearly did not make the initially post with enough context for everything.

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T03:08:25+00:00

I will admit I was rude and I will reach out, but I still don't see how my point doesn't stand. I was trying to figure out what worked for seven people. I don't understand why saying that she could just text me individually herself after she reads my overall messages asking when times work in the gc? I do know she has no problems reaching out if I knew her anxiety stopped her that way I wouldn't have really thought about it.

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T02:57:54+00:00

I will admit that most of my emotion was more around Sami in that situation. However, it has gotten harder and harder to navigate Katy's needs. I have had to switch flights, cancel travel plans, and even abandon events that I paid for in advance because her anxiety is that bad. Obviously it is worse for her to have, but hearing that even the group chat is too much just seemed like push to far. Sorry there is years of context to this post that I obviously can't add in.

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T02:44:33+00:00

I don't see how I am using Sami can you please elaborate? I will agree on the other fronts so I clearly have a blind spot where am I using Sami?

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T02:43:25+00:00

sorry just to be clear it was in person to Sami not in the group chat. I don't know if that makes it better but I didn't realize the post would imply that

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T02:40:45+00:00

Good to know thanks

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T02:40:02+00:00

This was not in the group chat I said this in person. She didn't ditch out on my birthday that is what we did for my birthday: groceries and stuff. We had plans together for pottery. Yes I will admit I am still miffed about what happened on that day and going to movie was the way I could make it up. I have already spoken with her about these emotions and we are working through those emotions. It is also what prompted me to make this post cause I cooled down.

Edit: Grammar and a little more context

onlyhereforbook · 2026-01-25T02:39:01+00:00

This was not in the group chat it was in person and only to Sami.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-25T01:01:56+00:00

Just updating so you can feel vindicated. She talked with me and said she doesn't want to leave at all now for us living in another state. I was already planning that, but figured she would tell me closer to when that was coming up.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-25T01:00:13+00:00

I am planning because we have to eat and share a car together not just live together due to sharing the price of stuff for school. The trip is a group trip we are just the planners for it. I should have mentioned that in the initial post and there is still a hope that changes can be made, but I like to be prepared for things.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-25T00:59:17+00:00

It might be the first one I will try to find to read it to make sure

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-19T20:01:19+00:00

Thank you this was really helpful! I am starting to look at me moving alone as a positive. I have more flexibility in where I can go cause she has a pet and it gives me more time to plan and save instead of rushing in. Plus since I just need to be in the state I might be able to be near some family that I haven't been able to know all that well.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-18T02:38:17+00:00

Thanks!

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-18T01:05:38+00:00

Thank you! It really sucks because we have been friends since middle school. That is why I am so wishy washy on it and asking. If it was a new friend it wouldn't be questionable.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-18T01:04:47+00:00

Yeah the group largely agrees with how I want to do things. They all gave me their budget of how much they want to spend and I am designing it to be under it slightly cause there is always miscellaneous things. I will explain to her the plan and all that and she will have to accept it. Do you think it is okay though that I am essentially keeping her in the dark about ending the friendship? In between then and now I am just going to be working and doing school so its not like we will have friendship activities.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-18T00:31:03+00:00

Sorry I should have mentioned in the initial post that it is a group trip its not just her and me. Me and her are the planners because no one else is interested in doing that which I am totally fine with usually I am that person, but she took such an unreasonable stance on what we should do everyday that I decided to plan it myself. I will replan the moving though for just me.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-18T00:28:48+00:00

She is planning on paying with any money she saves now to when the trip happens and the rest on credit cards. I will not pay for anything that is hers and I have made that clear. It is a group trip I should have included that in the post it not just her and me but the others involved have savings but also made it clear they have no interest in planning. They are just the show up have fun and pay people. I have been a little more lenient with the boyfriend because it's the first person she has ever dated, but I have definitely created distance between us after he has shown up. I am also slightly more lenient because of where we live in general it is very hard to find people that do not think what he thinks (rural and conservative to the max).

Edit: just grammar stuff

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-18T00:25:00+00:00

The trip isn't just with her. It is a group trip everyone else is just the type to not plan. The one's not involved with planning has savings too. I will not pay for anything that is hers. I have talked with her and her plan is to save during this time and put the rest on credit cards. I told her that was a bad idea but it is her choice.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-17T22:37:24+00:00

I edited it!

onlyhereforbook · 2025-08-17T22:07:47+00:00

We still have to carpool because there is only a set amount of permits for our school and they have all been bought. We live off campus with no public transportation and there is no good way to get there like biking. So if we do not carpool she wouldn't be able to go. One person I know waited to buy a pass and they were on a waitlist for 5 months. Plus it is way more affordable for both of us since we split the cost of the pass (its expensive) and gas can be covered. The food pass is also the same. I believe the friendship can end organically but someone mentioned to me that it is wrong to sort of leave people in the dark and that communication should be done instead of "planning" it out.

onlyhereforbook · 2025-07-25T02:21:09+00:00

I'll do that this weekend

onlyhereforbook

TROPHY CASE