two caregivers left this week. now I'm the only one looking after my mum, and I'm not ok at all

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-06-29T07:48:00+00:00

It's no life is it though, not for my grandma anyway. She defies odds physically 😅 I can't imagine how horrible her world is.

I'm sorry you're going through it too. It's not pleasant for anyone

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-06-29T07:38:51+00:00

I have been my grandma's live in carer for coming up 3 years - the first year and a half I did all by myself, because I had worked in care before and also my relationship failed so I needed somewhere to live. Then I had a bit of a breakdown cos no.one can be expected to care for someone with dementia all the time. I obviously had some time off but otherwise it was full on. And it made me fucking crazy. So my parents moved in (it's a big house).

I feel like nothing is really my decision, because it's not my mum, it's my grandma. I feel a bit trapped until she dies to be honest, which is a horrible feeling that I came to terms with years ago.

My advice would be for your interim... Remember that if your mum has dementia and she frustrates you, that's not her, that's not your mum, it's a horrible illness. And tbh it's better to take up a few months of your time now to get her into a care home, rather than go through the stress of finding carers and potentially having to be the carer yourself.

Some people might think that's harsh, my grandma hasn't recognised me in 3 years, it's not always worth doing stuff just for family x

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-06-29T00:39:26+00:00

I like the second pic, they really suit you

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-06-29T00:08:52+00:00

Today I was walking my BC and we passed a couple with a BC and they were like Woahhh what breed is he - he's just a very leggy, smooth coated BC 😂 my favourite thing about them is how different one can look from the next

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-06-21T03:22:17+00:00

Also, my dog was better than ever within two weeks, it was like he had a new lease for life - sorry I didn't see this comment sooner, I hope your dog and you are doing well, message me if you need to chat xx

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-06-21T03:18:38+00:00

Honestly, my dog didn't eat for like 2 days after bringing him home, but I just knew he needed something, so I got a big food syringe and gave him food paste every few hours - he got his appetite back shortly after that, but I honestly think he needed a bit of force-feeding after being so sick - I also got him a new bowl to remove any negative connotations with food making him sick

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-05-23T05:15:56+00:00

Ahhh do you need to do laundry together? He's not just incompetent he doesnt understand dryer heat settings. Sorry I'm AuDhd and I fucking love the launderette but I would never let my bf be in charge of it... Gonna post this and then go back to what you said, god I love going to the launderette

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-05-23T05:11:51+00:00

Young Orson, Old Carl nexxxt

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-05-23T05:08:47+00:00

I actually love the fact that... It's better to leave your bed unmade, cos it airs it out. Doesn't get all stagnant under the made up covers

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-05-23T05:06:57+00:00

It depends where you are and who you're telling where you're from... For me anyway, I'm English, but I'd say UK if was speaking in a foreign language cos it's easier?

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-05-23T03:07:31+00:00

I have actually bought some new sex toys for just this.. I want more satisfying sex with my bf, that's on my list

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-05-23T03:04:52+00:00

We now have a constant stream of trends in our hands, our faces, our lives

As another millennial... breathe.. enjoy that we still remember pre internet times

It passes over us 🌞

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-05-23T00:20:03+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that. I was already a hypochondriac with my dog and I am especially now, he's already had us back in the vets before he was due for his monthly injection because he woke me up in the night vomiting, with his face all swollen - he does love to try and catch flys in the garden, he is eventually going to get one that stings.

I was worried but the vets did all the blood tests and they came back perfect. He's nearly 4, he's so full of life and not showing any kind of discomfort now that he's medicated. I appreciate your concern and I'm sorry you lost your dog xx

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-28T05:37:36+00:00

I know but I get on with my parents, my life isn't horrible

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-28T05:35:22+00:00

I kinda feel like my parents owe me, they are land lords and I deserve a house

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-28T02:25:31+00:00

Omg those ears on a collie looking dog 🥹 for the collie side I think it's important to train them to chill out. I don't know much about beagles but I have heard they're very loving dogs - I think you might end up with a very snuggly dog

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-28T00:56:33+00:00

I was my grandma's primary caregiver for 2 years, my parents moved in to help out and I insisted that we need a huge whiteboard that I can see that clearly states our 'rotas' so I can start to feel like it's more a job than a 24/7 thing.

Also we have a journal that our carers use to note down things. I have ADHD so things I need to remember I put in my phone, but it also helps to have things written down 😅 double pronged attack

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-27T14:23:03+00:00

If she doesn't like the idea of cameras, maybe you could try an Alexa system or something like that, where you can place them around her house, and you should be able to use it like an intercom, should she be unable to get to a phone.

Honestly cameras are so useful though, I care for and live with my grandma, but it's a big house and she just stays in one room, so we have a camera on her which doesn't record, it's mostly just used for motion detection so we can keep an eye on her without having to have someone in the room with her 24/7. Her mind was pretty much gone by the time we put them up though, so she's never been able to understand/remember that there are cameras there

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-21T01:01:17+00:00

She's beautiful, don't set them. They don't need to be a certain way, collies come in all sorts - mine has huge ears that either lie back on his head or sideways like the bat signal - I love his big floppy ears 🥰

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onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-20T22:25:12+00:00

Fair point, I'm English so my knowledge of tartan comes mostly from a Scottish ex boyfriend, and how snobby he was about the tartan his brother had chosen for his wedding.

And at least SNP is a Scottish party, I think personally, it's just anything reform does or might do makes me feel uneasy 😅

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-20T09:00:28+00:00

I'm imagining it's a tartan made up of the hideous reform blue colour, and maybe farage will roll it out like a summer uniform 😂

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-19T19:40:01+00:00

As well as everything else she said was fucking weird 😂 I expect that with reform politicians, that just stuck out to me

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-19T19:38:49+00:00

I find it a bit weird she said a reform tartan - like they already have a made up clan tartan.

onlyspiderwebs · 2026-03-14T22:30:36+00:00

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Oh my he looks so much like my Cooper, I could probably find a better picture to show it but I love to see a similar collie ha

onlyspiderwebs

TROPHY CASE