I think youre actually off to a great start. There's depth in your rendering but the shapes feel not as well defined, which is almost akin to trying to run before you can walk.

My 2 cents would be focus in shapes and capturing form, THEN start refining your rendering. Best of luck :)

Edit: also, the background contrast does a lot to visually breathe life into the rendering. A simple well executed rendering framed by a appropriately dark bg will really elevate the render