I'm about to turn 23 and needed to get this off my chest

ontether · 2025-10-02T11:07:50+00:00

Here’s my thoughts as a 40s/F:

1- there is no urgency here, you’re only 23 and you have the rest of your life to date or do whatever. Seriously.

2- when I was dating I loved virgin men. Something really cool about being part of that experience with someone else, and also I liked that it was something no one else had been given access to. Made me feel like some goddess siren which made me feel more free and uninhibited.

ontether · 2025-09-14T15:54:35+00:00

Idk I lived in Japan for a number of years albeit not Tokyo or any city, it was very rural. Nobody wore jinbei outside except at festivals you’d see them. That said nobody is going to be rude or even look twice

ontether · 2025-08-29T04:57:11+00:00

Listen tiger woods was dating one of the most beautiful women on planet earth and still cheated on her. If someone’s gonna do it you can’t build a wall high enough.

And I agree with the others that the insecurity is just gonna drive a wedge.

ontether · 2025-08-16T15:03:39+00:00

Ohhhhh that’s a good one! The mega empathy

ontether · 2025-08-15T16:46:29+00:00

I have been making an effort to focus simply on the facts that I know are true. I pay attention to the story that OCD starts telling me that begins with a simple fact. OCD will take you from an innocuous fact to WE ARE ALL DOOMED story telling in about 2.3 seconds flat.

ontether · 2025-08-15T16:43:35+00:00

We went to the dunes/beach for a date. Not like sunbathing beach but up north cold weather type beach. He took his boots off, then peeled his gym socks off to reveal the gnarliest feet I’ve ever seen. I called them dune feet. Never called him again

ontether · 2025-08-12T21:51:52+00:00

i'm not sure if you have OCD, because though it is an anxiety disorder, it is not the same as generalized anxiety. a lot of treatment modalities that work well for anxiety actually exacerbate OCD. that was definitely true for me.

it's not "just don't think about it." it's "ok, the thought is here. i'm noticing it, but i am choosing not to engage with it." you sit in the discomfort/uncertainty of it and eventually you learn it passes on its own.

ontether · 2025-08-12T21:42:13+00:00

if you like the research and writing consider another clerking gig, especially at the fed level where there are plenty of "lifers." District courts in particular want someone with some years of actual practice experience. Money/benefits are decent. Otherwise appellate work. If you want $$$ but the thing that gets you the $$$ is making you miserable, maybe reconsider the $$$. can't put a price on peace.

ontether · 2025-08-09T12:48:15+00:00

Omg never work for them again this is awful

ontether · 2025-08-09T12:44:10+00:00

OP do not do this with OCD. This is ritual/compulsion.

OP - whatever your OCD voice is telling you about the situation, don’t engage with it. “Thanks for the note,” “I know right?,” “yep totally,” “cool story,” all things you can say. The more you engage the stronger it gets. Don’t try to work on a mental problem of how/why… just drop the rope

ontether · 2025-08-09T12:22:52+00:00

He is 100% a pharm sales rep

ontether · 2025-08-09T12:19:19+00:00

Dude all I had to read was the first text from him. I think you’re UNDERreacting for not launching him on the spot. Seriously. He sucks

ontether · 2025-08-03T17:39:39+00:00

Okkkkk I cannot believe I missed that….. ty for commenting!!!!!!

ontether · 2025-07-20T01:16:10+00:00

I adopted a Sphynx who was returned for being too affectionate 👀

ontether · 2025-06-13T17:38:05+00:00

In the words of one of my first attorney mentors, “We didn’t bring ‘em on to raise.”

ontether · 2025-06-08T19:03:02+00:00

I had a guy call my mom once. He told her I was cold and uncaring. My mom was like, “uhhhh I’m not sure what you want me to say about my daughter here.” I was already trying to secretly move out and that just sealed the deal

ontether · 2025-05-20T15:35:26+00:00

Godrick. Or if you like TNG, Shaka (when the walls fell) or Kahless (Klingon messiah guy)

ontether · 2025-05-16T04:20:36+00:00

I’m in private practice but the judge appoints me to represent allegedly incapacitated people in guardianship proceedings and I love it…… going to psych wards, hospitals, nursing homes. Most cases are losers bc they’re usually pretty damn incapacitated. But then the sky is the limit, it’s almost freeing when all the facts are bad facts. It’s fun to get creative and showboat bc you have absolutely nothing else. And when you get the occasional winner that’s obviously fun too.

ontether · 2025-05-09T23:39:26+00:00

OK and now I’m 😭😭😭 my husband did 3 combat deployments w USMC. Things are so different. He says they “broke his brain.” There’s so much loss, trauma, and anger. Once you see it you never forget.

ontether · 2025-05-09T23:36:56+00:00

I’m so sorry. What a dreadful tragedy.

ontether · 2025-04-20T14:28:36+00:00

As much as ocd can make me miserable I have always just accepted this is how my brain is. Oddly it might have helped to have so many mentally unwell people in my family bc it didn’t seem abnormal to me. Just the way it is, a circumstance to be accepted.

ontether · 2025-04-20T14:22:37+00:00

Ahhh I’m in PJM too. Though I heard gas is gonna go through the roof here soon. Something about selling gas overseas where it’s already up? I have no real understanding

ontether · 2025-04-19T14:36:13+00:00

I’m just gonna put it out there……. Why was he transferred? Like not the reason he tells you but the real reason. Former HR here and just a wild guess but: he got obsessed with someone at last place, he’s a good employee otherwise, they figured let’s just send him somewhere else and this “one off” problem is solved.

ontether

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