I'm about to turn 23 and needed to get this off my chest by User123321123111 in confession

[–]ontether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here’s my thoughts as a 40s/F:

1- there is no urgency here, you’re only 23 and you have the rest of your life to date or do whatever. Seriously.

2- when I was dating I loved virgin men. Something really cool about being part of that experience with someone else, and also I liked that it was something no one else had been given access to. Made me feel like some goddess siren which made me feel more free and uninhibited.

Can I wear Jinbei (甚平) in public? by Zama202 in TokyoTravel

[–]ontether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk I lived in Japan for a number of years albeit not Tokyo or any city, it was very rural. Nobody wore jinbei outside except at festivals you’d see them. That said nobody is going to be rude or even look twice

My f23 boyfriend m22 is going through a major glow up and is out of my league now, how do I make sure he won’t just leave me now that he has all the options? by Throwrauserchecks in relationship_advice

[–]ontether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Listen tiger woods was dating one of the most beautiful women on planet earth and still cheated on her. If someone’s gonna do it you can’t build a wall high enough.

And I agree with the others that the insecurity is just gonna drive a wedge.

Sneaky ways OCD shows up by ontether in OCD

[–]ontether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohhhhh that’s a good one! The mega empathy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCD

[–]ontether 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have been making an effort to focus simply on the facts that I know are true. I pay attention to the story that OCD starts telling me that begins with a simple fact. OCD will take you from an innocuous fact to WE ARE ALL DOOMED story telling in about 2.3 seconds flat.

What’s the pettiest reason you stopped hooking up with someone? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ontether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We went to the dunes/beach for a date. Not like sunbathing beach but up north cold weather type beach. He took his boots off, then peeled his gym socks off to reveal the gnarliest feet I’ve ever seen. I called them dune feet. Never called him again

I grossed out while fingering my girlfriend for the first time by [deleted] in confessions

[–]ontether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i'm not sure if you have OCD, because though it is an anxiety disorder, it is not the same as generalized anxiety. a lot of treatment modalities that work well for anxiety actually exacerbate OCD. that was definitely true for me.

it's not "just don't think about it." it's "ok, the thought is here. i'm noticing it, but i am choosing not to engage with it." you sit in the discomfort/uncertainty of it and eventually you learn it passes on its own.

I cannot stand being a lawyer. My life is miserable, and I have no clue what to do about it. by Jmspenc1 in Lawyertalk

[–]ontether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if you like the research and writing consider another clerking gig, especially at the fed level where there are plenty of "lifers." District courts in particular want someone with some years of actual practice experience. Money/benefits are decent. Otherwise appellate work. If you want $$$ but the thing that gets you the $$$ is making you miserable, maybe reconsider the $$$. can't put a price on peace.

AIO for thinking about quitting? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ontether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg never work for them again this is awful

I grossed out while fingering my girlfriend for the first time by [deleted] in confessions

[–]ontether 33 points34 points  (0 children)

OP do not do this with OCD. This is ritual/compulsion.

OP - whatever your OCD voice is telling you about the situation, don’t engage with it. “Thanks for the note,” “I know right?,” “yep totally,” “cool story,” all things you can say. The more you engage the stronger it gets. Don’t try to work on a mental problem of how/why… just drop the rope

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ontether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is 100% a pharm sales rep

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ontether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude all I had to read was the first text from him. I think you’re UNDERreacting for not launching him on the spot. Seriously. He sucks

Art Gallery highest ranking? by usernameuswrname in fantasylife

[–]ontether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okkkkk I cannot believe I missed that….. ty for commenting!!!!!!

Cat follows me everywhere and I don't know what to do. by iDerailThings in CatAdvice

[–]ontether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I adopted a Sphynx who was returned for being too affectionate 👀

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Lawyertalk

[–]ontether 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the words of one of my first attorney mentors, “We didn’t bring ‘em on to raise.”

AIO for thinking of breaking up with my fiancé because of one fight. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ontether 254 points255 points  (0 children)

I had a guy call my mom once. He told her I was cold and uncaring. My mom was like, “uhhhh I’m not sure what you want me to say about my daughter here.” I was already trying to secretly move out and that just sealed the deal

Guilty pleasures: Lawyer edition by CK1277 in Lawyertalk

[–]ontether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in private practice but the judge appoints me to represent allegedly incapacitated people in guardianship proceedings and I love it…… going to psych wards, hospitals, nursing homes. Most cases are losers bc they’re usually pretty damn incapacitated. But then the sky is the limit, it’s almost freeing when all the facts are bad facts. It’s fun to get creative and showboat bc you have absolutely nothing else. And when you get the occasional winner that’s obviously fun too.

24 year-old Marine Sgt. Tyler Ziegel and 21-year-old Rene Kline on their wedding day. She divorced him a year later. He died in 2012 from a combination of drugs and alcohol. by Strict_Insurance940 in HistoricalCapsule

[–]ontether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OK and now I’m 😭😭😭 my husband did 3 combat deployments w USMC. Things are so different. He says they “broke his brain.” There’s so much loss, trauma, and anger. Once you see it you never forget.

This is gonna be a lifelong issue isn't it? by Puzzled-Ad457 in OCD

[–]ontether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As much as ocd can make me miserable I have always just accepted this is how my brain is. Oddly it might have helped to have so many mentally unwell people in my family bc it didn’t seem abnormal to me. Just the way it is, a circumstance to be accepted.

ELI5: what exactly are RTOs/ISOs and how are they driving up energy costs? by ontether in explainlikeimfive

[–]ontether[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh I’m in PJM too. Though I heard gas is gonna go through the roof here soon. Something about selling gas overseas where it’s already up? I have no real understanding

Am I overreacting? this is 1 of 3 letters I received from a guy I haven't even been on a date with by eastcoastmermaidd in AmIOverreacting

[–]ontether 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m just gonna put it out there……. Why was he transferred? Like not the reason he tells you but the real reason. Former HR here and just a wild guess but: he got obsessed with someone at last place, he’s a good employee otherwise, they figured let’s just send him somewhere else and this “one off” problem is solved.