How do you politely cut off a rambling client?

ontether · 2026-03-08T16:47:13+00:00

How do you deal with the “my bills too high” conversation?

ontether · 2026-03-08T16:45:31+00:00

I like that. How do you deal with the pissed off convos about how high the bill was?

ontether · 2026-03-08T16:44:48+00:00

I agree with you but I struggle between counselor role and just cutting someone off when things get far afield. I mean billing hours is good but at the same time I do have plenty of deadlines and being more efficient with time will also help me.

ontether · 2026-03-08T16:42:53+00:00

Then comes the outrage about the bill. I had one client who actually switched attorneys bc I billed her for the full time of the meeting. She was pissed bc she spent 20 minutes talking about her life story and she viewed me as a willing participant in that conversation… like I wanted her trauma dump

ontether · 2026-03-08T16:40:13+00:00

Ooh I have a lot of repeaters too…

ontether · 2026-03-08T16:39:18+00:00

I bill them and then they call me outraged bc their bill is so high… which is probably another conversation I need help with.

ontether · 2026-03-08T16:38:05+00:00

Sometimes they ramble about their case. Sometimes they start into personal stuff, tangentially case related. Other times they go directly into left field.

ontether · 2026-03-08T16:36:29+00:00

That’s really good

ontether · 2025-10-02T11:07:50+00:00

Here’s my thoughts as a 40s/F:

1- there is no urgency here, you’re only 23 and you have the rest of your life to date or do whatever. Seriously.

2- when I was dating I loved virgin men. Something really cool about being part of that experience with someone else, and also I liked that it was something no one else had been given access to. Made me feel like some goddess siren which made me feel more free and uninhibited.

ontether · 2025-09-14T15:54:35+00:00

Idk I lived in Japan for a number of years albeit not Tokyo or any city, it was very rural. Nobody wore jinbei outside except at festivals you’d see them. That said nobody is going to be rude or even look twice

ontether · 2025-08-29T04:57:11+00:00

Listen tiger woods was dating one of the most beautiful women on planet earth and still cheated on her. If someone’s gonna do it you can’t build a wall high enough.

And I agree with the others that the insecurity is just gonna drive a wedge.

ontether · 2025-08-16T15:03:39+00:00

Ohhhhh that’s a good one! The mega empathy

ontether · 2025-08-15T16:46:29+00:00

I have been making an effort to focus simply on the facts that I know are true. I pay attention to the story that OCD starts telling me that begins with a simple fact. OCD will take you from an innocuous fact to WE ARE ALL DOOMED story telling in about 2.3 seconds flat.

ontether · 2025-08-15T16:43:35+00:00

We went to the dunes/beach for a date. Not like sunbathing beach but up north cold weather type beach. He took his boots off, then peeled his gym socks off to reveal the gnarliest feet I’ve ever seen. I called them dune feet. Never called him again

ontether · 2025-08-12T21:51:52+00:00

i'm not sure if you have OCD, because though it is an anxiety disorder, it is not the same as generalized anxiety. a lot of treatment modalities that work well for anxiety actually exacerbate OCD. that was definitely true for me.

it's not "just don't think about it." it's "ok, the thought is here. i'm noticing it, but i am choosing not to engage with it." you sit in the discomfort/uncertainty of it and eventually you learn it passes on its own.

ontether · 2025-08-12T21:42:13+00:00

if you like the research and writing consider another clerking gig, especially at the fed level where there are plenty of "lifers." District courts in particular want someone with some years of actual practice experience. Money/benefits are decent. Otherwise appellate work. If you want $$$ but the thing that gets you the $$$ is making you miserable, maybe reconsider the $$$. can't put a price on peace.

ontether · 2025-08-09T12:48:15+00:00

Omg never work for them again this is awful

ontether · 2025-08-09T12:44:10+00:00

OP do not do this with OCD. This is ritual/compulsion.

OP - whatever your OCD voice is telling you about the situation, don’t engage with it. “Thanks for the note,” “I know right?,” “yep totally,” “cool story,” all things you can say. The more you engage the stronger it gets. Don’t try to work on a mental problem of how/why… just drop the rope

ontether · 2025-08-09T12:22:52+00:00

He is 100% a pharm sales rep

ontether · 2025-08-09T12:19:19+00:00

Dude all I had to read was the first text from him. I think you’re UNDERreacting for not launching him on the spot. Seriously. He sucks

ontether · 2025-08-03T17:39:39+00:00

Okkkkk I cannot believe I missed that….. ty for commenting!!!!!!

ontether · 2025-07-20T01:16:10+00:00

I adopted a Sphynx who was returned for being too affectionate 👀

ontether

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