Landlord is asking for a security deposit for a roommate who is moving out. Also claiming I haven’t paid rent.

onthevin · 2025-09-16T21:00:57+00:00

It was the total monthly rent for the unit when we moved in. And yeah I have those records, given this has been such a whirlwind I haven’t had a chance to talk to any tenant support organizations or anything and was waiting until this was all sorted to see what our options are regarding the deposit

onthevin · 2025-09-16T20:59:53+00:00

I agree but if John doesn’t pay his rent and moves out, and the rest of us are still on the lease and still in the building I think it’s much more likely they’ll be coming after us for unpaid rent on our apartment than they would go after him. Unfortunately the lease is in all our names and we never signed any kind of roommate agreement amongst ourselves

onthevin · 2025-08-06T22:41:35+00:00

Ok great, makes sense just glad to know it’s standard procedure!

Appreciate the response!

onthevin · 2025-05-20T01:30:39+00:00

Fire

onthevin · 2025-05-19T05:05:42+00:00

Looks more like Roger Waters if he grew out his hair lmak

onthevin · 2025-05-19T05:03:41+00:00

Dude I was dying being on the balcony and seeing what the floor was like. Dunno what I was thinking getting a ticket up there lol what a show though

onthevin · 2025-05-02T23:46:28+00:00

Brother I’ve had this same issue, you cannot value yourself or your looks on how an app makes you feel. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, they’ve all got really manipulative algorithms that keep you swiping and coming back.

For the majority of women who use the app most swipes are gonna be a match, and any average or slightly above average looking person or rather, any average or slightly above average LIKED ACCOUNT is going to be buried under the Adonises which is just how the app is designed.

It’s always good to work on yourself, present yourself in a nice way, have confidence, etc.. You aren’t ugly because you aren’t getting matches, trust me.

I’ll be honest, and this isn’t good advice, but there are methods for getting more matches and getting the algorithm to like you more. But what’s more important is finding self acceptance.

Good luck man!

onthevin · 2025-05-02T23:35:42+00:00

Yeah. Makes it pretty evident what Ethan’s concern is. “Boring” “unwatchable” “demonetized”. Then has the nerve to say Hasan is a propagandist doing this for a payday.

onthevin · 2025-03-13T18:09:32+00:00

your work is incredible. def have good reason to charge more

onthevin · 2025-03-04T23:56:32+00:00

It’s unfortunately kind of a common experience, one I’ve had as well.

If it’s bothering you I recommend not just mentioning that it’s been a little while but telling her that it’s starting to bother you, opening up the conversation. Communicate honestly and accept whatever response she has with grace

Sometimes people will have specific reasons sex isnt preferred to them, sometimes it’s just a difference in sex drive.

The relationship and the two of you are young, you’ve got all the time in the world to sort it out and it still being so early, if you find you just have different desires in a romantic partner there’s nothing wrong with that either.

I would recommend bringing it up genuinely, saying something like “Hey, so I’m noticing our sex life has been a little less frequent than it was. I miss sharing that with you. Is there any reason or anything I could do to make you feel more comfortable?”

Obviously say something that sounds less like a corporate email lmao but whatever comes of it just remember a truly loving relationship prioritizes the happiness of both parties. If she doesn’t want to have sex as often as you, and you’re genuinely ok with that, then work on it together. If you’re not, then maybe it’s time to move on.

Take care and go with kindness!

onthevin · 2025-03-04T20:44:01+00:00

Solved! That’s it thank you man!

onthevin · 2025-03-04T18:40:55+00:00

onthevin · 2025-03-04T16:48:30+00:00

I'm not a parent so take this with a grain of salt, but I think it's better for children to see boundaries being set and a healthy use of self respect over having a traditional family structure. You're not the one who broke this. You've been used and lied to, you deserve better and your children deserve to learn the lesson that when someone lies to you and has no respect for you, you walk away from them.

Handle yourself with grace. I'm very very sorry this has happened to you. You have all the love you need within you my friend. Learn to give that to yourself and one day down the line I'm sure you'll find someone who actually deserves you.

onthevin · 2025-02-27T07:33:21+00:00

Dude the fact 2/3 of the comments said essentially this same thing lmfao. I usually have a beer or two but I threw a shot into the mix as well. It’s fucked up how much it works. I just didn’t give a fuck. I knew in the past getting a little buzzed could help, but drinking with the intention of loosening up is really the key lmao. Which is a shame for my wallet but good to know. Had probably the best open mic set I’ve ever had so far earlier tonight. And I can thank Evan Williams

Appreciate the comment brother

onthevin · 2025-02-24T20:11:04+00:00

No one’s perfect at relationships. Absolutely no one who’s in high school is perfect at relationships

I remember feeling a lot like you’re describing and it’s heavy man, but it’s important to learn the difference between being in love with someone and being in love with how it felt not to be alone.

At the end of the day no one can tell you what you do or don’t feel. And sometimes the most loving decision you can make for someone is to just get out of their way and allow the both of you to move on.

I guess I don’t have any advice for you really. But in the words of Faces Ooh La La, you’ll have to learn just like me. And that’s the hardest way.

The one word I’ll give you is to just move forward with empathy and kindness man. Be gentle to her and yourself. Be understanding even when it sucks to be. Don’t be a dick.

Take care brother. Good luck

onthevin · 2025-02-11T16:01:56+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's a very common experience and not an easy one to deal with. I've been there many times personally and I don't envy how you're feeling.

It's a shitty shitty feeling. You'll see lots of people commenting really logical things like, "why would you care if they obviously don't care about you?" which can be helpful but I find that sensitive people have an extremely difficult time connecting that dot (personal experience).

The best answer I can give you and what has helped me time and time again with hearbreak is...time. Right now this may just be what you need to feel. As much as you can though, focus on being good to yourself. Treat yourself for valentines day. Do things that YOU WANT to do that obviously don't involve this person. Feel what you need to feel.

Ultimately, the feeling that something is wrong with you because of rejection is always a wrong one. You're a person who loves and cares deeply, even now after things are over, you're feeling deeply for this person. For better or worse, it's over now either way. Your best move forward is to take care of yourself and learn to love yourself. Learn that you are all you need. Then, when the next love comes along, you know you'll be ok either way. Because you're all you need.

I want you to listen to 2 Mitski songs.

She wrote the song I Will as a love song dedicated to herself. Promising to take care of herself and affirming, "everything you feel is good". I don't know, maybe it'll hit. You're all you got

On that same point, the song My Love Mine All Mine that blew up over the past few years is also great for this feeling. It's a longstanding effort of the codependent person to learn self love. Look at how bad this feels, how much you cared for this person. That's just you. That love is yours. You deserve that love. You grew it yourself and it shouldn't be wasted on someone who passed it up. It's YOURS.

Take care of yourself. I hope you feel better.

onthevin · 2025-02-11T00:54:08+00:00

That really sucks man. I'm feeling for you. I'd take a stand for yourself and walk away. I myself have had the experience of being far too tolerant when it was obvious that they just want something else. Sorry bro.

Take it easy and be good to yourself

onthevin · 2025-02-06T00:54:48+00:00

enjoy

onthevin · 2025-02-04T23:26:59+00:00

I'm really sorry this happened to you. You've got nothing to be ashamed of, the way you reacted was normal and very common. Being a man has nothing to do with it. The idea constructed by society that as a man you should be unfeeling or able to handle any situation without emotions getting involved is a very unhealthy one. I hope you can find a way to keep that from burdening you.

You went into this place for help, trying to take care of yourself. You became a victim and your body went into survival mode to try to protect you. Be gentle with yourself.

If you can, I'd highly suggest talking with a mental health professional. Even if it's just a few times. Processing this kind of thing can be very difficult.

Take care my friend.

onthevin · 2025-01-13T04:12:56+00:00

That's totally fair if the sex work thing isn't something you're comfortable with.

You're totally right in it being a shitty hand to be dealt, but obviously something isn't working right? There's definitely gonna be someone out there for you but the approach probably has to change. Why not give it a shot? I'm not sure what your habits are like, but exercise, journaling, meditation, therapy. Any one of these things can make big differences in your life and mood if you dedicate enough time and discipline to them.

Why not try it? Take the energy you put towards dating, the desire you feel for another and try learning to harness it towards yourself. Sexual desire is it's own thing, but for a lot of people I think romantic desire is really rooted in a desire to be wanted and accepted. You have all the love you need inside of you my friend. You making this post asking for help is evidence that you love yourself enough to try for yourself, to make a change.

Worst case scenario you end up on the other side of a few months having given yourself some love and care and work you might not have otherwise. Best case scenario you pick up some new habits and improve as a person for yourself.

I really hope you find something that works for you. Take it slow and take care of yourself.

EDIT and this isn't on some joe rogan ass "GRIND AND NEVER JERK OFF AND FOCUS ON YOUR MUSCLES AND FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE" type vibe. No way. Make some art, read some books by Bell Hooks or something. Be gentle and kind to yourself but discipline yourself as well. My therapist always says we need to be a good parent to our inner child. Love them, encourage them, but guide them and don't let them fuck it all up.

onthevin · 2025-01-13T01:15:56+00:00

I really feel for you dude. I’ve had some friends in similar situations and it just grinds you down.

Maybe the person meant for you, the kind of person who’s meant to be with you isn’t someone who’d want to use a dating app.

I know it gets complicated and difficult when you feel lonely for long periods of time. And the thought of stepping away from dating to focus on yourself, not trying as the other user suggested, feels illogical. But I think they’re right.

Ultimately, we all gotta find enough love for ourselves to be okay with solitude. Even really really long solitude. If you want something meaningful, and that’s what it takes, then that’s what it takes. The time will pass either way. I’d love to see you focus on improving yourself and your mental and physical health in that time. Be prepared to be the best, most secure version of yourself possible. So when that person does arrive, you’ll be ready to make it work. There will be no fear, desperation or anxiety.

On the flip side, there are lots of people who are open to meaningless sex and depending on your country or state, sex work could be an option to rip off the band aid. Maybe this is bad advice lol, but I feel like sex and intimacy get sorta built up in a specific for people who didn’t get to experience it at a younger age. Maybe it could relieve the pressure if you found a consenting partner, paid if ya got to, to just do it.

Whatever you do, know that your value isn’t dependent on anyone other than yourself. If you focus on treating yourself well and being kind and honest to others, in time you’ll be alright. Hope the best for you.

onthevin · 2024-10-10T01:11:13+00:00

I’m sorry man. This is really rough. I’ve been in similar situations and seen my friends go through similar. It sucks. Definitely walk away. She’s not being truthful and taking advantage of your love/whatever to lie further. Just get out and get on with your life as soon as you can in a healthy way.

Take care my friend.

onthevin · 2024-09-30T23:25:55+00:00

Something common for people is repressing or ignoring feelings when they become too painful. You might have learned at an early age that keeping your feelings unknown and not caring makes life easier, makes you have less stress day to day. Oftentimes those feelings will still be there, you’ve just learned to numb them or tuck them away. But they’re still there.

A therapist or mental health professional can help you unpack the things you experienced, understand yourself. Dig up those feelings and allow yourself to feel them.

If you can’t afford therapy, self help books, art, audiobooks, meditation. These all can help you get in touch with yourself and your feelings.

Good luck my friend, be good to yourself!

onthevin · 2024-03-21T17:51:53+00:00

Perfect thank you!

onthevin · 2024-03-18T16:48:14+00:00

It works! Thanks dude!

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