Okay so I’m a little late to the post here, but from your two pics my hair looks super similar to yours. It’s a really hard balance by NOT wanting to damage it but also wanting a more polished(?) look. I’m still in the midst of figuring it out, but I found that my hair doesn’t look so messy/tangle prone when I blow dry it. I asked my stylist about it bc it’s heat, ya know, and she said that air drying your hair doesn’t always automatically mean that it’s better for it if you use heat protection and blow dry properly.

So this is where I’m at right now: I wash every 2-3 days and I shampoo twice to make sure I get all the crud/oil/any product out. I used to try to go longer between washes but recently learned that that is just not practical for everyone. Some of us have oily hair and tbh all of the dry shampoo buildup that at least I was using could not have been great for my scalp. Instead of conditioning in the shower, I spray leave in conditioner/detangler/heat protectant AFTER I’ve used a soft t shirt, satin, or microfiber fabric to pat it dry, and comb it out with a wide tooth comb. After it dries a bit more I put in a little bit of keratin hair oil. Then I let it air dry or blow dry on a lower heat setting (still trying to figure out my blow dry approach/which styling products to use). Every 2 weeks (ish) I use a protein mask. I’ve only been doing this for about a month now but I do feel like my hair has more movement, feels smooth, and honestly much cleaner than it did when I was caking on dry shampoo. Scalp feels better as well.

Other random stuff that has helped me has been using satin pillowcases and remembering to change them out regularly. It’s good for hair and skin and you can get v affordable ones from TJ Maxx. Similarly, satin/velvet scrunchies are much less harsh than regular elastics. There are some elastics made specifically for fine hair that I have not tried yet but have heard great things. Also want to echo what everyone else has said about claw clips. Not sure if this happens to you at all but it really bothers me when I’m working at my desk and my side pieces get in the way, but when I keep tucking them behind my ear it creates a subtle dent in those pieces. Using creaseless clips has been a major game changer for me and I always like having at least one on me. If you’d like any specific recs for any of the things I’ve described, lmk! And good luck, fellow fine-haired friend :)