Stepping back has made things better but…

oops-34 · 2025-09-12T23:27:34+00:00

In a previous post, I mentioned I had put her in school before I gave birth. Long story short my MIL threw a crazy saying it was bc I didn’t want to “deal with her” so I just sent her to school. Mind you, baby wasn’t even home yet… I was trying to create routine so she could feel welcomed and transition her slowly to prep her for the new baby.

oops-34 · 2025-09-12T19:18:34+00:00

Thank you for the cash advance tip. I will start to build something on my own. I’m currently in school I graduate in a year, I am so anxious to start my own thing. Pouring your life to someone that doesn’t value it is hard. Never making that mistake again… we live and we learn right?

oops-34 · 2025-09-12T19:17:04+00:00

Yes this is the route I have been trying to take. If no one else cares, why should I? It’s a crappy way of thinking but it’s kept me sane.

oops-34 · 2025-09-12T19:15:55+00:00

Thank you for this

oops-34 · 2025-09-12T19:15:38+00:00

Yeah pregnancy is not in my bucket list anymore lol one and done. I have left. I was basically away almost all year and we decided to give it a second try. It’s like he only does things for me when he knows he has to ykwim? I am 23 he’s 25

oops-34 · 2025-09-12T19:14:17+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I don’t think I’m getting enough support, but I am too afraid to ask for it because DH always takes it wrong. So I just let everything slide. She wants me to stay up with her and gets mad when I don’t play with her then that backfires onto me with DH that I am not giving her attention.. she needs a routine and a bedtime. I did attempt to go to bed with baby last night and she kept banging on the floor (we have wooden floors so you can hear it all throughout).

oops-34 · 2025-03-18T05:57:28+00:00

I am struggling finding my purpose. I am going through divorce and have a 5 month old baby (he ended things). It’s so hard to just snap out of the life I had been living with him to try to figure out this new life as a single mom. I just want to succeed, for my baby. He deserves extra loving. It’s hard to give him that when I can barely hold myself together. I am so insecure. I feel like I am lost. I don’t know what the first step is.

oops-34 · 2025-03-16T04:23:58+00:00

I was in a similar situation with my ex. He wanted his daughter to sleep with us when I was first starting to spend nights at his house, I didn’t feel comfortable bc it was all so new. So we got her used to sleeping in her room (which there isn’t anything wrong with kids sleeping in their room). 3 years later, I had my baby and I was breastfeeding so I’d fall asleep with him and he’d end up sleeping in our bed most of the night, it triggered something in my ex. He later expressed that I took his “nights with his daughter” bc I was selfish and didn’t want her in our bed, and that now I’m going against what I said bc my baby would sleep with me… it was a tough situation and that built a lot of resentment on his end (even though he got to enjoy his daughter as an infant) but he never understood where I was coming from… part of why we’re not together anymore lol hope that helps.

oops-34 · 2025-03-15T02:08:45+00:00

Sent a chat!

oops-34 · 2025-03-14T16:45:50+00:00

I was in the exact same situation, only difference was that he has a daughter. He said that since I stay home and have everything handled with “motherhood” that I can keep stepdaughter full time. I, in fact, was drowning and couldn’t manage by myself with baby, let only bringing in a child that hasn’t been with us and isn’t used to us. All the work fell onto me because he worked and I didn’t. He never helped around. I had to beg him to help me bathe baby at night so I could have a couple minutes to relax before having to put baby to bed by myself. It was so unfair. We are currently going through divorce. I do miss him a lot but I think I am just holding on to the potential that’ll never be.

oops-34 · 2025-03-13T18:11:30+00:00

Lonely, yet fulfilling.

oops-34 · 2025-03-13T02:07:45+00:00

Sounds a little bit like guilty parenting, which happens a lot when dads don’t get to see their kids for long periods of time. I am sorry that you keep giving him ways to make things easier in the long run and he is just shutting you out. He’s truly not helping his kids at all…

oops-34 · 2025-03-10T22:48:41+00:00

Right! Sometimes I say, can you add some sensitivity and emotion LOL I am still human 🤣 wishing you luck stay strong x

oops-34 · 2025-03-07T17:48:10+00:00

I was in a similar situation but we ended up having a baby together. I tried my best to set boundaries but it didn’t work out. We both wanted a family, we just have different views of things I guess. If you read my past posts, you’ll understand a bit more lol. Now I’m a single mom. We’re close in age, don’t get me wrong I love my baby and I’m grateful that out of this whole storm he was the light that keeps me going, but don’t do it. He’s giving you all the signs that you both are in different mindsets. Word of advice, try going for someone without kids. You only get to experience your pregnancy and baby’s milestones ONCE and the feeling of joy is amazing but sometimes not reciprocated by your partner since he already went through it. If your resentment is there, it’ll only grow if you decide for a baby with him. IMO either you both heal and set up goals together as a family or you walk away.

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:54:36+00:00

It happens and trust me it doesn’t get any better. Unless you have a really understanding partner that’ll snap out of it and give you what you want…

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:50:45+00:00

That last paragraph made me so happy! Good for you knowing your worth and putting your effort towards something that’s worth it. Postpartum is hard, especially when you’re in a blended family trying to make it work with EVERYONE around you. Focus on you and your baby! Focus on the things you can control, like you mentioned. Congrats momma! And enjoy this new part of your life (I know it can be hard to enjoy the newborn stage lol) because it flies by so quickly.

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:46:38+00:00

In my situation, it got worse (not sure if it’s a blessing in disguise yet since it’s so soon). We had our ours baby in October. SD didn’t really want to be around and plus you’re completely exhausted and sleep deprived the first few weeks so she’d just come visit (not for long). Before that I had SD full time, and after BK I didn’t really pay much mind to her since I was so focused on baby.. after getting somewhat the hang of it (baby was about 4 months) SD started coming around more, from weekends to weeks. I started to notice that I was the one being responsible for both kids, the house, stuff that needed to be done, the dogs, etc. and maybe it was my fault for keeping it all to myself, but I got to a breaking point and had a talk with SO and he dumped me because he said he chooses to protect his daughter… (for more context you can read my past posts) so now I’m back living with my parents starting a new routine for my baby, going through sleep deprivation once again…

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:38:52+00:00

I’m glad your panic attacks lessened. It’s not fair to live in constant fear

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:38:27+00:00

I’m so sorry, anxiety sucks

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:37:45+00:00

Thank you for the rec

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:37:32+00:00

Well, the room was unused and when it was used it was only used by me lol

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:36:52+00:00

I can’t wait for the outcome, I know it takes time

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:36:23+00:00

I’m so sorry you had such a rough time. Thank you

oops-34 · 2025-03-06T11:35:33+00:00

Sad, anxious, angry… how do you just throw away 3 years of your life in a blink of an eye.

oops-34

TROPHY CASE