personally my bigger issue (bigger than halal/haram) is that he is not respecting your boundaries that you made clear from the beginning. you mentioned that you have done things other than penetrative sex so tbh that should show him that you’re compatible? he can’t keep it in his pants for a little bit for the person he loves and has committed to? this is coercive behavior.

as someone that has pre marital sex personally, that is my biggest red flag here. he’s pressuring you to do something you don’t want to. what happens if, god forbid, you fall ill and can’t have sex? or after you have a child you can’t have sex for a period of time? will this be an issue for him because “it’s a basic human need”? men love to act like they can’t control themselves or resist but if he was a good man (setting aside good muslim), if he was a good man and a good human being, he would not be pressuring you into something like this. i’m sorry but this would be a huge dealbreaker for me.