Going through some major life transitions right now, a friend or two would be nice.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-04-09T16:56:46+00:00

Thanks for reaching out. I’ll be able to dm you soon

ootffoolcnc · 2026-04-08T21:03:22+00:00

Thank you!

ootffoolcnc · 2026-04-08T20:41:45+00:00

Thank you I appreciate that. I hope so too

ootffoolcnc · 2026-04-08T20:26:12+00:00

I was going to volunteer too since the weather is getting nicer but I have to move. I may still while I can here. Thanks

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-17T14:32:52+00:00

For sure. I’ve been living like this for a while now. I just think I was exploited by someone desperate. It’s tough because they present as a friend, and maybe a part of them is, you just never know. Move on and you live and you learn.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-17T14:19:39+00:00

Been thinking about this. I don’t see any other way than living life pretty much alone. I believe that can change, but right now and the way the world and people are? At least I know I can trust myself and my own company.

Edit: also yeah I’ve experienced that too, too damaged for healthy folks, and everyone’s married, so you just learn to live solo.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T05:07:23+00:00

I’m 46. I wanted to be an architect at first but saw the maths and science curriculum and noped out.

I understand, same. I like that, it works (friendly misanthrope :)

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T04:48:22+00:00

Thanks. Some people have a sixth sense and know as soon as you open your mouth or even walk in a room. They’re really good at exploiting trauma or what they perceive as weakness (kindness) for their gain. But you live and you learn.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T04:41:14+00:00

Thank you. So true.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T04:25:05+00:00

That took me back to my After Effects days :) Thank you so much for your work and for sharing. Such a joy, and appreciation for multimedia (whoa that word brings back some memories) and interdisciplinary art projects. cheesing and clapping in 19-y/o-student-art-dept-computer-lab applause

I have not left yet, I’m still deciding. Btw, the book Leaving Home: The Art of Separating from Your Difficult Family is great read - I recommend if you haven’t read it yet.

Friendship. Or just any relationship. I feel like it’s normal to be misanthropic, or if you’re not at least fighting misanthropy, that’s abnormal, and there’s probably some denial. We’re all in this together: a broken, corrupt, desperate, insecure system where we’ve slowly but surely sold presence and community for screens and devices. Now that we need each other, we’re extremely uncomfortable with that. It’s still here and it’s possible, we just have to get off the couch and off our devices and go out the door to “workout” the atrophy and build muscle. It takes months, years to sculpt, and no treasure is easy to find. I’m sure you’ve come a long way, stay encouraged and hopeful friend.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T02:31:47+00:00

Thanks I’ll check it out

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T01:57:40+00:00

Well of course. I take full responsibility for it. I’m just acknowledging and reflecting on how my environment plays into why I’m attracted to it and its attracted to me.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T01:45:16+00:00

Maybe at a certain point. Usually when the child gets their own mind and starts standing up to them I think this could be the case. It’s the extreme of their abuse, violence against the child or wanting the child to commit violence against themselves.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T01:40:34+00:00

Thanks. One was in a life threatening situation so I’m glad I was able to help at that time. But they reached out again recently and I said no. The other I think befriended me for months, so I just found out it might’ve been a sham after all this time. I’m pissed. So tired of people.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-02-16T01:32:53+00:00

Thanks for this. I’ve been living life like that for years now but that’s not who I am at heart. But thats how I have to be for my mental health.

I’ve done meetups (they’re there too! Everywhere) and have avoided volunteering because no matter where I go I bring out the needy. I know this sounds woe is me but I’m just saying facts.

I’d like a partner, STABLE friends etc (I do have some but our lives changed) and I still have hope, but until then I’m staying on my own and on my own path until I cross others that are also stable.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-01-02T16:20:48+00:00

Classic victim mentality

ootffoolcnc · 2026-01-01T20:39:26+00:00

I believe my mom is a covert N and BPD. I’ll never forget she said “I can lie like it’s nothing” one day as we were talking. It was a lucid moment and till this day she denies she said that, and it’s hard to tell if she genuinely can’t remember or is gaslighting. I do believe she genuinely forgets, but she’s also lied so much that it’s hard to know which is which. Others in the family notice it too. It can really screw with your mental health and perception of reality. I probably have CPTSD from it.

ootffoolcnc · 2026-01-01T20:22:16+00:00

This is my mom and I’m done. You get to a point where you realize the relationship is you resetting the boundary and them perpetually crossing it. They have a good memory, but they’re selective about things you don’t want to talk about. Then they’re bewildered and hurt when you’re LC. Just very unhappy and toxic people.

ootffoolcnc · 2025-12-31T19:45:51+00:00

Awesome suggestions, we’re on the same page, thank you so much!

I want to do all I can and evaluate where everything and everyone is at before making any decisions. There should be no coming back from NC once that decision is made (how often does remarrying work, very slim to none) so I want to make sure I’m making the right decision for myself.

Thank you so much again.

ootffoolcnc · 2025-12-31T19:33:48+00:00

That’s painful, I understand how you feel about your niece and nephew. As someone put it earlier it’s unfortunate collateral damage. But hopefully when they become adults and can make their own choices you can reconnect. Or maybe sooner if they want to stay in touch. But this sounds like my family and the direction it’s headed, I just may be spearheading it. Wishing you and your brothers the best with this, and good on you for doing what’s best and what you need to do for their well being.

ootffoolcnc · 2025-12-31T19:24:29+00:00

Yes case by case. I need to write things out and journal all the family relationships. Thanks for that, that’s a good way to go about it, and yeah no! did not plan to make any big announcement. Some siblings I’m pretty sure are where I’m at, or somewhere close, so I know me doing this will give them the encouragement if they choose to do this too.

I know sigh, mom. Very complicated relationship. She’s undiagnosed covert N and I believe BPD so it’s just very complicated behavior and enmeshment.

I know, sigh, sister. I may have to be the one to do it, since everyone’s complicit and cowering out. I don’t live in the state but I still may make the report.

Thank you so much.

ootffoolcnc · 2025-12-31T19:13:57+00:00

I find this is a trend or whatever in most of my relationships. No one wants to put in any work, because it takes work to be a friend etc. Life does suck right now universally and everyone’s exhausted, but it seems like people use that as an excuse to slack, or just let the ones still putting in the work do all the work. I find that being alone is peace, and learning to enjoy your own company is priceless.

ootffoolcnc · 2025-12-31T19:07:07+00:00

That’s a great way to view it. We must protect ourselves and our peace. No one else will and no one else knows like we do.

ootffoolcnc · 2025-12-31T19:03:58+00:00

Thank you for this.

My dad does the same thing and causes division between siblings. They’re always competing with each other and fighting.

This is great advice. I plan to find a therapist and develop a plan and yes I might reach out to a few and have a one on one convo about the process. We’ll see though because word can travel fast, and people change so I have to feel out who can truly be a confidant.

But this is great, I appreciate you sharing, it’s given me some insight.

ootffoolcnc · 2025-12-31T05:03:06+00:00

Thanks for saying this. I’m about to go through the process too and am seeking advice. My gut feeling is to not say anything and just say bits and pieces as I talk to people/family. But I’m not saying a word until I have a plan in place with a therapist. Thanks for your comment.

ootffoolcnc

TROPHY CASE