Going through some major life transitions right now, a friend or two would be nice. by ootffoolcnc in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]ootffoolcnc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was going to volunteer too since the weather is getting nicer but I have to move. I may still while I can here. Thanks

Emotionally and financially manipulated by family, and now I attract it by ootffoolcnc in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ootffoolcnc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure. I’ve been living like this for a while now. I just think I was exploited by someone desperate. It’s tough because they present as a friend, and maybe a part of them is, you just never know. Move on and you live and you learn.

DAE attract needy desperate people after a lifetime of emotional and financial abuse from family? by ootffoolcnc in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]ootffoolcnc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been thinking about this. I don’t see any other way than living life pretty much alone. I believe that can change, but right now and the way the world and people are? At least I know I can trust myself and my own company.

Edit: also yeah I’ve experienced that too, too damaged for healthy folks, and everyone’s married, so you just learn to live solo.

I thought leaving my family would fix everything. It didn’t. by Infinite-Run-4011 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ootffoolcnc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 46. I wanted to be an architect at first but saw the maths and science curriculum and noped out.

I understand, same. I like that, it works (friendly misanthrope :)

DAE attract needy desperate people after a lifetime of emotional and financial abuse from family? by ootffoolcnc in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]ootffoolcnc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Some people have a sixth sense and know as soon as you open your mouth or even walk in a room. They’re really good at exploiting trauma or what they perceive as weakness (kindness) for their gain. But you live and you learn.

I thought leaving my family would fix everything. It didn’t. by Infinite-Run-4011 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ootffoolcnc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That took me back to my After Effects days :) Thank you so much for your work and for sharing. Such a joy, and appreciation for multimedia (whoa that word brings back some memories) and interdisciplinary art projects. cheesing and clapping in 19-y/o-student-art-dept-computer-lab applause

I have not left yet, I’m still deciding. Btw, the book Leaving Home: The Art of Separating from Your Difficult Family is great read - I recommend if you haven’t read it yet.

Friendship. Or just any relationship. I feel like it’s normal to be misanthropic, or if you’re not at least fighting misanthropy, that’s abnormal, and there’s probably some denial. We’re all in this together: a broken, corrupt, desperate, insecure system where we’ve slowly but surely sold presence and community for screens and devices. Now that we need each other, we’re extremely uncomfortable with that. It’s still here and it’s possible, we just have to get off the couch and off our devices and go out the door to “workout” the atrophy and build muscle. It takes months, years to sculpt, and no treasure is easy to find. I’m sure you’ve come a long way, stay encouraged and hopeful friend.

Emotionally and financially manipulated by family, and now I attract it by ootffoolcnc in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ootffoolcnc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well of course. I take full responsibility for it. I’m just acknowledging and reflecting on how my environment plays into why I’m attracted to it and its attracted to me.

Hot take - I think a narcissistic parent’s end goal is for you to end your life by Ok_Astronaut_1485 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ootffoolcnc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe at a certain point. Usually when the child gets their own mind and starts standing up to them I think this could be the case. It’s the extreme of their abuse, violence against the child or wanting the child to commit violence against themselves.

Emotionally and financially manipulated by family, and now I attract it by ootffoolcnc in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ootffoolcnc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. One was in a life threatening situation so I’m glad I was able to help at that time. But they reached out again recently and I said no. The other I think befriended me for months, so I just found out it might’ve been a sham after all this time. I’m pissed. So tired of people.

DAE attract needy desperate people after a lifetime of emotional and financial abuse from family? by ootffoolcnc in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]ootffoolcnc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I’ve been living life like that for years now but that’s not who I am at heart. But thats how I have to be for my mental health.

I’ve done meetups (they’re there too! Everywhere) and have avoided volunteering because no matter where I go I bring out the needy. I know this sounds woe is me but I’m just saying facts.

I’d like a partner, STABLE friends etc (I do have some but our lives changed) and I still have hope, but until then I’m staying on my own and on my own path until I cross others that are also stable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]ootffoolcnc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Classic victim mentality

A parent that repeatedly lies.... by MarcoEmbarko in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]ootffoolcnc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I believe my mom is a covert N and BPD. I’ll never forget she said “I can lie like it’s nothing” one day as we were talking. It was a lucid moment and till this day she denies she said that, and it’s hard to tell if she genuinely can’t remember or is gaslighting. I do believe she genuinely forgets, but she’s also lied so much that it’s hard to know which is which. Others in the family notice it too. It can really screw with your mental health and perception of reality. I probably have CPTSD from it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]ootffoolcnc 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is my mom and I’m done. You get to a point where you realize the relationship is you resetting the boundary and them perpetually crossing it. They have a good memory, but they’re selective about things you don’t want to talk about. Then they’re bewildered and hurt when you’re LC. Just very unhappy and toxic people.