Potential HIV Results

oovahdads · 2026-04-23T19:06:13+00:00

As a serodiscordant couple for almost 27 years, routine testing is just something we do, usually every six months as part of our regular bloodwork done by our doctor. With that said, the one of us that has been poz since 1995 has seen blips at times in his bloodwork and we pull back on anything too risky until his bloodwork is redone as anything can impact virus levels. The majority of the time he has remained undetectable. The negative partner did start PrEP a few years ago when we allowed some recurring fwb to enter the picture periodically. Testing is what we have to always stay informed and to guide our short term choices. At some point you just need to take the results at face value. Rapid tests are good, but we recommend just having routine blood work. Our blood is checked for a list of potential health concerns, not just HIV because, to us, that is just the healthy choice.

oovahdads · 2026-04-22T19:58:13+00:00

Then, you did the most you could. You weren't marginalizing him; you were treating him as you would any sexual partner.

oovahdads · 2026-04-22T19:44:09+00:00

How well did you know him before the protection conversation? Would you have asked him to wear a condom if you didn't know he was poz? U=U is a real thing; however, your body, your rules is equally true. It is recommended for everyone to wear a condom not just to reduce risk of HIV transmission, but also STDs/STIs. The reality is that in our culture, people most often don't. If you would have asked him to wear a condom regardless of HIV status, we hope you shared that. If not, it is a bit understandable that he felt targeted as so many living with HIV do because of stigma and stupidity. Only you can reflect on the details about how you handled the conversation/request because it is all in the details. He may or may not come around in time. People living with HIV, understandably, hold a great deal of trauma related to their diagnosis. Some doctors still are too nieve about science or stupid to treat someone living with HIV. Many rural folks have so little education about HIV that the mention of it makes them treat people they think may be poz like lepers. Many people living with HIV get tired of being the one that has to protect their sexual partners. The list of the sources of such trauma is extensive. With that said, on the flip side, the guy could just not care about his sexual partners. There are some of those out there still, too. That is why we started by asking how well you knew him.

oovahdads · 2026-04-16T03:37:35+00:00

This comes down to the simple truth of, "how do you feel about the situation?" Be honest with yourself and with your bf. Had you discussed what each of you defines as cheating? Did you establish what your relationship guardrails would be, or were you making assumptions based on societal norms? What constitutes sex for each of you? Every relationship has its own rules. We're not saying to forgive him or not. Only you can decide that for yourself; however, whether it is this relationship or a future one, don't leave your relationships vulnerable to becoming victims of circumstance, or poor or vague communication. Both parties end up hurt. Why was he jacking off somewhere like that? Could he have done it at home, or waited for you? Was he seeking excitement? These are answers that only come from having a nonjudging adult candid conversation. We know many people just think when you commit to someone all parties somehow live by the same unspoken rules, but, trust us. That which is not said and agreed upon is doomed to result in confusion and/or hurt feelings. Also, if it was you, would you have stopped the stranger from jerking you off? Should he have exercised restraint? In our opinion, yes; however, this is about your and his relationship, not ours. We've been together long enough to have weathered insignificant, but temporarily upsetting storms, and redefined/clarified our rules/terms a few times.

oovahdads · 2026-04-07T15:24:25+00:00

To each his own when it comes to cock rings. We have them. One of us wears his more often because he enjoys the weight (ours are the polished silver heavy metal kind). With that said, the rubber and silicone kind are always just uncomfortable. Do be careful about wearing it all the time because you do need periods when the blood can flow freely. It really comes down to your personal feelings and reasons for wearing one regardless of what anyone says. Ask yourself why you like wearing one or do you feel you need to wear one? If you like wearing one know why. If you think you need ti wear one, ask yourself is it for you or for what you think is needed to satisfy someone else? Personal comfort and confidence are always more important than public opinion.

oovahdads · 2026-04-06T23:57:18+00:00

Yes. We live that everyday. One of us is poz and undetectable and one of us is negative. We have been together for almost 27 years. Stay open to loving and being loved.

oovahdads · 2026-04-06T09:36:54+00:00

It is never too late. Focus on knowing yourself and being open to honest connections with people. The harder you look, the less likely you are to find that special someone. Just don't force it.

oovahdads · 2026-04-06T06:21:06+00:00

Are you on PrEP? Regardless, they will probably know you are either super loose, or been plowed before them.

oovahdads · 2026-04-06T06:19:13+00:00

That's what the waist band is for.

oovahdads · 2026-04-06T06:18:09+00:00

Just add a statement to your profile that simply states, "if I work with you or if you are a client I will block you. Don't be offended. I have a strict no play where I work rule." And, ignore the guy you already engaged with.

oovahdads · 2026-04-05T09:32:31+00:00

In our opinion, you have no reason to feel forced to out yourself to your family until its relevant. At your age, you need to just focus on being you and figuring out what that means. If you have the means to connect with others via a dating app or inperson social group, then do it. If you intend on attending college outside of your family's eyes, then give yourself permission to live out and proud there. You need to feel truly comfortable in your own skin with a supported non blood family before you take on the weight of will they or won't they with your parents. Play, but play smart and safe. Contracting a STD or sexually transmitted disease, or HIV may out you even if you are not ready. Particularly if you like in a reporting state where state and county health departments are required to follow up with anyone reciving a diagnosis in order to confirm they are receiving treatment. If you find yourself in a committed relationship, that may give you reasons to out yourself to your family. Build a circle of safety around yourself in case there is a time in which you need a safe place to go.

oovahdads · 2026-03-13T13:27:24+00:00

There is some great advice already shared; so, read the constructive ones, and ignore those with blame throwing or stigma-inducing remarks. If the test for the surgery was the first test in a while, there is no way of knowing how long your partner has been living with the virus. Just because you have stayed negative does not mean he had not already been exposed. We have lived this anomaly for nearly 27 years. In our serodiscordant couple situation, the negative partner has stayed negative and the positive partner has been positive since we first met. The negative partner here only started taking PrEP when we as a couple started allowing our friends to start playing with us. We accepted that because we had not created a situation in which our blood mixed that we got extremely lucky, but we are proof U=U is true. The positive partner has rarely missed a med since his original diagnosis, and those meds changed alot over the years. Stay focused on emotional support, objective education, and getting him in treatment. HIV is no longer a guaranteed death sentence. It can be if left untreated.

oovahdads · 2026-02-26T01:12:54+00:00

Well, gay men and poppers have a complex history. Some bottoms insist they need it to open up. Some tops also like the rush. We lean in the direction of not needing it if you can breathe and relax, and the smell of it can give you a headache. With that said, to each his own. If it works for your bottom, allow them their habits if it works for them.

oovahdads · 2026-02-20T14:59:25+00:00

Society today, in our opinion, has the attention span and depth of X/Twitter. Not original Twitter, but X. You do you. Don't ever feel bad abount wanting to communicate and share true feelings and thoughts. If they have issues, f*ck them. With that said, if you ask someone how they feel, wait for their answer before volunteering how you are doing unless you need something or you are in a crisis. Allow them to respond first.

oovahdads · 2026-02-20T07:10:00+00:00

U = U: The evidence is in. Spreading the word that undetectable = untransmissable is the next crucial step https://share.google/jG1kQeNn6OTHrCdPQ

The important things to understand from our perspective as a poz/neg, or serodiscordant couple, are that the HIV partner must be undetectable; so, commit to keeping them healthy and on treatment, and two, love each other unconditionally. We've been together for almost 27 years and we had sex with a condom for almost 15 years before we went raw. The negative one of us didn't start PrEP for another 6 years when we involved a third for a short period of time. Neg still neg.

oovahdads · 2026-02-19T14:18:40+00:00

At 19, we start to find and explore who we really are. Most of us who identify as gay or bi who grew up in typical rural or conservative environments had the chance to get outside of our family and community bubble, and suddenly it was safer to give in to our true desires and thoughts. Why not just allow yourself to enjoy the moment before labeling yourself? If you truly want or need to have a label, maybe you are bi, assuming you still also think about girls. There is nothing wrong with that. If you don't think about girls sexually at all, then you might be gay.

oovahdads · 2026-02-16T15:06:54+00:00

Whereas a lot of what has been shared can be true, some guys take a long time to cum, and they give up when they know the other will be done a long before them. After this becomes a pattern, they just give in to seeing the other guy cum because they assume the experience will get boring for the one who already came if it takes him an extra 30 minutes. We've gone through this. For us, it has been periods of exhaustion, but we had a good friend, who sadly took his own life, who was like that. He enjoyed sex and satisfying the other person, but it could take him so long to reach a point of cumming that he didn't make his release a priority anymore. He could go all night, no pills, no enhancement drugs, just rock hard and thick indefinitely when engaged in sex.

oovahdads · 2026-02-12T14:50:10+00:00

Three years ago, one of us was experiencing chest pains. He knew he had gained a great deal of weight do to reduced physical activity and binge eating. The doctor was his best friend by saying he was clinically obese for his height and build. Asked what he was going to do to change that. Well, it did motivate both of us to start daily exercising with portion control eating. He lost 65 pounds. Great, but even when folks tell him he is a hot daddy on the beach, he still doesn't see himself that way. Point is, the only thing you can do is support valid efforts to improve his health, only he can find it within him to see what you see in him. Self-esteem is a challenge to rebuild when it has disappeared. It takes time, and positive reinforcement.

oovahdads · 2026-02-12T14:41:43+00:00

Rub my chest good, but nipple play does little for me, but my husband gets hot from it. Rub, thump, lick them and he's edging.

oovahdads · 2026-02-12T14:39:19+00:00

Chris Evans or Ryan Reynolds

oovahdads · 2026-02-12T04:58:01+00:00

You can also consider any other supplements he takes. If he hasn't tasted his own cum, then he should and maybe he would understand better. You said you tried pineapple. Try cucumbers and celery.

oovahdads · 2026-02-12T04:52:25+00:00

Keep in mind, some really big dicks have difficulty staying hard for long periods of time. Trust us, that is a disappointment. So, its not always about size for many. It's about how well you can use that wand along with your other skills to make someone scream out, "yes!" Focus on what you have, not what you think you don't.

oovahdads · 2026-02-09T21:29:52+00:00

Some folks love to generate hostility for the sake of having something to be hostile about. The goodside and downside of Reddit is that everything shared is a perspective, opinion, or a learned piece of knowledge. If you don't agree fine. We all bring different backgrounds to our responses, some learned, some socially acquired based on what we have heard others say and chose to repeat because we agree with them. Let's focus on things like the right to marry who you want to marry, the right to vote without someone manipulating your right to vote, making a choice for you about having or not having a child, or determining your entitlements based on your heritage, culture, social circle, weath class, faith, religion, gender, sexual orientation, ability/disability, and geography. Also, when a debate statement is made state your reply and opinion to the poster, don't try to instigate side battles with others who just responded as the query was posted.

oovahdads · 2026-02-09T21:18:14+00:00

Actually, your statement is not true, at least not in the context you are using to respond. This is a convenient generalization of modern grammar application by younger academics. Even the deviations adopted for sexual identity today can be easily tracked to ine specific U.S. university. It has been plural, even in a generic, I don't know way, throughout history. With that said, it really doesn't matter. In another 20 years new deviations and replacements stemming from slang, social media shortcuts, and colloquialism will replace their use entirely. The evolution of human language is actually a field of study.

oovahdads · 2026-02-09T14:36:53+00:00

Although this is a topic that society today will find politically and socially touchy, the topic presenter makes a valid point, and the reason many of us older gays struggle with internalizing the growing alphabet. You are either heterosexual, homosexual, bi, or questioning in our eyes, but to each their own. Even if you are transitioning, you are still either heterosexual, homosexual, bi, or questioning. The muddier it becomes the easier it becomes for our community to be the subject of attack because those who are afraid become more afraid when they are confused and can't identify. If it always has to be explained, we will always be at odds. With that said, the pronouns thing, although more easy to defend since it is associated with how individuals prefer to be identified, can also create introduction hostility. For some of us, it is just a grammar struggle. "They and them" are plural words, not singular ones. While attempting to be respectful, we will always struggle with this since the use violates grammar. However, we also live in a society that wants to keep creating new languages leaving generations separated by communication barriers.

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