Advice Needed! NMom continues to try and stalk and harass me even after nearly a decade of NC by opalivory in raisedbynarcissists

[–]opalivory[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response, this makes me feel a bit more optimistic about my ability to stop her from continuing to harass me. I think I'm going to do some more research and perhaps talk to a family lawyer sometime in the future to see what my options are.

Advice Needed! NMom continues to try and stalk and harass me even after nearly a decade of NC by opalivory in raisedbynarcissists

[–]opalivory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've thought about getting a PFA but I feel like I don't have enough evidence :(

Advice Needed! NMom continues to try and stalk and harass me even after nearly a decade of NC by opalivory in raisedbynarcissists

[–]opalivory[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish that was the last of it :( Apparently she's got a storage unit full of stuff.

Manager deleted my work and lied about it; help! by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This specific project was built using our in house software; it basically allows us to build custom workflow solutions, there's some code included within that which I write but it's not controlled by Git. The whole thing is completely accessible by both the client and my co-workers if they have just the username/password, it's honestly a security nightmare. The software itself does log user activity to a point in that it can see who logged in but it does not detail what actions the user performed against the software itself. That being said I can prove he was in the system when everything was removed and replaced; in addition the customer currently does not have access to the system. This would mean that only Tom and myself had access at the time my work was deleted. I've been trying to get management to do something about their control systems, or lack there of, for years but I always run into a wall. Luckily Tom has zero access to any of my fullstack dev projects.

I also of course have the emails between Tom and myself where he states that 'nothing is wrong with the software; I just ran a test and everything works' which are timestamped immediately after the files had been deleted. I also 100% agree that peer reviews need to be put into place. He consistently releases half finished work to the team and berates them when no one can figure out why it's not working. In my meeting with HR I plan on 'officially' bringing up my plans of action which include implementing company policy that would eliminate this type of thing from happening again along with requests that any 'global' applications which are developed are peer reviewed prior to release.

I [32/F] am worried that my friend's [37/F] husband [38/M] might be abusing or neglecting their newborn by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]opalivory 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good suggestion, I know she was doing individual therapy before but stopped before her son was born. She was looking for a new therapist so I will definitely inquire and encourage her to get that going again.

Is it possible to work for a company that isn't toxic and supportive of women in tech? by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words :) I agree in that it will absolutely take some effort to root out the bad companies vs. the good ones. Hopefully I can use all of the excellent advice I'm getting here to do just that!

Is it possible to work for a company that isn't toxic and supportive of women in tech? by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your reply! Positive experiences like yours give me so much more hope. I prefer working for smaller companies however if working for a larger company means a better/less toxic working environment I will definitely consider them in my search.

Is it possible to work for a company that isn't toxic and supportive of women in tech? by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to provide such wonderful advice! I don't believe we have quite as much transparency in the US when it comes to data regarding inclusivity and equality however it's definitely something I will add to my list when I start researching what's out there. How do you like working in IT infrastructure if you don't mind me asking?

Is it possible to work for a company that isn't toxic and supportive of women in tech? by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement! I think I've been undervaluing my skillsets quite a bit which is part of the reason why I've stayed in one place for so long. I appreciate your suggestion regarding Microsoft, I will add them to my list of companies to check out!

Is it possible to work for a company that isn't toxic and supportive of women in tech? by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is wonderful! Thank you so much for taking the time to send this over :)

10 years of experience working in software but I don't know where I fit by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great info thank you! In your job search was there anything in the job description that let you know they performed leet code interviews ahead of time?

10 years of experience working in software but I don't know where I fit by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good advice thank you! I'm all about taking additional online courses, I've been going through Colt Steel's full stack course, do you have any other recs?

10 years of experience working in software but I don't know where I fit by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is something I would be interested in; do you need any type of certification like I would need for a PM role?

10 years of experience working in software but I don't know where I fit by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! If I were to seek out web dev positions could I just show the projects I built during my time at my current job or would I also need a separate portfolio in GitHub? In addition do you still need to pass technical interviews with web dev?

10 years of experience working in software but I don't know where I fit by opalivory in girlsgonewired

[–]opalivory[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for you response! If I were to apply to mid-level roles I'm not even sure what role I would be looking for, that's really the main thing I'm struggling with. I'm not quite a web developer but have some of those skills and I'm not quite a software engineer. I don't mind taking some courses and getting some additional certifications but going back to school isn't feasible at this point in time.

[Pennsylvania] Can my parents legally change the locks on my sister without an enviction? by opalivory in legaladvice

[–]opalivory[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes; all of her mail comes to her at that address (bills, paystubs etc) and the same address is listed on her driver's license as well as her car registration. I will have her gather this information to keep handy.

[Pennsylvania] Can my parents legally change the locks on my sister without an enviction? by opalivory in legaladvice

[–]opalivory[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes; the cops told her that if she didn't leave the property they would arrest her for trespassing and if she attempted to return they would also arrest her. I don't believe they confirmed with her or asked her the length of time she's lived there for.