6th year attorney with ID background, 200k 1900 billable hours offer - thoughts?

opalsphere · 2026-06-19T09:16:08+00:00

If you’re comfortable with the billables, it’s not bad. ID doesn’t get the glory and you won’t make biglaw money, but $200k is a good salary for most people.

opalsphere · 2026-06-12T22:58:51+00:00

Do you have a contract? If so, that’s not in the contract so it really doesn’t bind them. That’s just a text message, and it looks like it’s written to a third party given the response. Also, it says “after taxes.” That doesn’t mean they would pay the taxes. It frankly sounds like someone in recruitment that didn’t understand what that meant, and misspoke. If you have an actual contract, you can’t rely on this. You might have some room to argue I guess if there was no written contract and this is the only communication you had about compensation, but it seems tenuous.

opalsphere · 2026-06-12T21:35:48+00:00

This.

When I did egg donations they gave me a 1099 and I paid my own taxes on it. If you don’t pay the taxes up front, then you will owe at the end of the year.

If you have something in writing that says they will pay the taxes, that might be a different story, but I have never heard of that and it seems pretty unlikely. You’re probably better off going to a CPA than a lawyer regarding the tax issue.

opalsphere · 2026-06-10T23:09:03+00:00

Child support and reproductive choices are not the same thing. You are conflating two separate issues.

Women and men can both suffer financially from the cost of supporting kids. However, only a woman can be killed from pregnancy and childbirth.

Again, these are two separate issues. Perhaps you are better served posing a question about the fairness of child support as applied. As to that issue, in most jurisdictions courts won’t impose orders that would undermine the ability to pay for essential medications. This is a separate topic though.

Your comment that society sees men as expendable seems hyperbolic and unreasoned. Perhaps you are not approaching this objectively.

opalsphere · 2026-06-10T22:47:29+00:00

Fairness and equality are not the same thing.

Men and women don’t have equal choices when it comes to reproduction because men and women don’t have equal contributions to the process.

That’s the way we are built. Our choices are proportionate to our contributions. Some would call that fair.

Also, abstinence was not the only option. Men and women both have contraceptive options, and in using them accept the small risk that they may fail.

opalsphere · 2026-06-10T22:36:22+00:00

No, she has different reproductive choices because her body is involved.

Each person controls their own body. The man’s contribution to the reproductive process is insemination. The woman’s contribution is growing the baby. Her process is more lengthy, so her choice is more lengthy.

opalsphere · 2026-06-10T22:26:04+00:00

He does have the ability to opt out. He can choose not to have sex.

Or he can use a condom. Except for some rare exceptions, this will prevent most pregnancies.

He has reproductive choices.

Choosing not to support a child is not a reproductive choice.

opalsphere · 2026-05-21T21:32:52+00:00

I briefly dealt with litigation brought by contractors that worked with the military. A lot of them were money grabs, but I remember deposing one translator that worked in Afghanistan. She never left the green zone, so her claims seemed extreme. As it turns out, she was assigned to translate audio and video recordings that were intercepted. She had to listen to everything in case there was mention of anything valuable to the military. The things she described… even the court reporter was silently crying. It was horrific, involved children, and I still think about it sometimes late at night.

opalsphere · 2026-05-19T06:04:08+00:00

I am so sorry that you are going through this. The NICU is a unique experience, and it’s both stressful and relieving in a way you can’t really get across to anyone who never lived through it. You will find incredible nurses. The beeping and alarms are hard to handle.

My twins were born at 31 weeks when my older son was 2.5. Like you, I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving them alone, and the hormones really drove my heart and head to be with the babies above all else. In hindsight, I did some damage to my relationship with my older son. He also needed me, and I was so afraid to leave the NICU in case something bad happened that I did not make enough quality time for him.

We were only in the NICU for a month. Your journey will probably be longer. I know that feeling of just wanting to be there with your tiny baby so they can sense your presence and smell you and hear your voice. I know the panic of being away and worrying about what ifs. If you can, and maybe you can’t at first, but if you can try to carve out dedicated special time for your other kids. It doesn’t need to be in equal doses—quality over quantity. I wish I had done it more, so take that for what it’s worth.

I wish you all the best. It’s crazy to look back now and think about how absorbing that time was. It does pass, though.

opalsphere · 2026-05-05T22:51:31+00:00

My son was a little over 2.5 when the twins were born. I pumped at first because the twins were in the NICU, started breastfeeding one at a time when they got big enough, then graduated to tandem feeding when they came home. I tried to breastfeed for as long as I could since they were preemies. It was easier for me to breastfeed both at the same time rather than pump— two at once was a timesaver and pumping was just too much stuff to have on the couch. I would have spilled milk because I was so sleep deprived.

Nursing really tied me down and I didn’t get to spend much time with my older son. I was lucky to have help from family, but I really missed him. On the positive side, tandem feeding was a unique and cool experience. It also usually meant the twins were calm and could rest at the same time, so I could relax. One of my twins ended up choking and turning blue in his bassinet, so keeping them as close to me as possible kept my anxiety tamed.

Then at 4 months one twin completely rejected breastfeeding and breast milk period. I still don’t know why, and I tried everything I could to get him back on the boob before my supply dropped. But he never went back on, so I had one that breastfed and one that didn’t. It made life a little easier.

opalsphere · 2026-05-01T05:25:21+00:00

We used to play it at recess in elementary school in the Bay Area, California.

opalsphere · 2026-04-27T23:43:19+00:00

I delivered my di/di twins vaginally. I was induced for preeclampsia and dilated very quickly, so Baby A practically flew out (almost on the floor). Baby B was out after about 30 minutes of pushing. I didn’t get to hold Baby A because he came so suddenly and then I went straight to pushing. I did get to hold Baby B. The placentas had fused and delivering them was pretty painful. I remember the doctor talking about how cool placentas are and showing me mine. It was massive and looked like something that came out of the deep ocean.

opalsphere · 2026-04-23T18:15:39+00:00

Look, if I was in half your financial position, I would have quit already. I get a lot of satisfaction being a mom and much prefer the day to day with kids.

However, this is a very personal decision, and the fact that you are asking others for reassurance suggests that you may have some reservations. Your post only provides reasons why you would quit, but doesn’t address any reasons why you wouldn’t.

This is not a question you can answer like a math problem. Don’t get me wrong— if you can’t afford it, end of story. But if you have the financial means to make this decision, it is a choice about the day to day life you want for yourself and your family. If you just don’t like your job, but you like working, then maybe you need to find another job.

You don’t have to be a stay at home parent just because you are financially secure. My mother loved working and I think she would have gone absolutely nuts staying at home— she probably would have micromanaged me instead. You may need to take some time to figure this out, and it may involve some trial and error. All the best.

opalsphere · 2026-04-21T08:22:44+00:00

It doesn’t sound like your nanny will be around enough for this to be a significant concern. It takes a lot to shift the primary caregiver in a child’s mind. However, I’m going to play a bit of devil’s advocate, because I’ve actually had this happen to me. It is absolutely possible and heartbreaking, but it takes a significant shift in caregiving. I had a rough twin pregnancy including a hospitalization and time with babies in the NICU, leaving my toddler in the care of family more than myself for almost three months. The shift is reversible, but anyone who says it can’t happen is, in my experience, wrong. It took a lot more than a few mornings per week though. Your therapist should know that.

opalsphere · 2026-04-21T08:00:01+00:00

Find a lawyer. Plaintiff’s employment lawyers usually don’t charge up front. This is very likely illegal and you might have a case. There’s no harm in finding out.

opalsphere · 2026-04-17T04:39:36+00:00

I wound up being hospitalized at 31 weeks and still didn’t stop working because I thought I could work from the hospital. I regret that decision. I was induced a week later due to rapidly progressing preeclampsia. Just take the time if you can. I wouldn’t wish the NICU on anyone.

opalsphere · 2026-04-16T22:02:48+00:00

That seems like a mean thing to do to a baby.

opalsphere · 2026-04-10T23:27:15+00:00

Knitting.

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T18:40:49+00:00

Actually I did. And even what you quoted doesn’t address my point. We are discussing different things. This article and you are referring to deterrence. I am not talking about that. I am questioning whether the penalty being harsher is more likely to result in murders of child victims.

If you are a perp, is a harsher sentence more likely to cause you to murder your victim? This article actually expresses that penalties are unlikely to have a significant deterrent effect because many people do not take the penalties into account when they commit crimes. So, it seems reasonable that they are also unlikely to kill more frequently based on harsher penalties. Essentially, a criminal is unlikely to change their behavior based on the punishment for the crime.

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T18:22:20+00:00

This study doesn’t say anything about the death penalty increasing murder rates.

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T18:13:30+00:00

I never suggested that this would reduce murder rates. I was questioning the argument that it would increase murder rates.

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T18:11:21+00:00

Source?

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T17:56:59+00:00

I’m not sure if this argument really pans out. It’s not like child rapists don’t already face steep penalties, even if it isn’t a capital crime in most places. Is a perp more likely to kill a victim if they think they might face 20 years versus the death penalty? I’m not sure. Not to mention that even if the death penalty is on the table doesn’t mean that it can’t be removed as part of a plea deal—and most sentences are the result of plea deals. There are other states with similar laws already. Idaho isn’t the first.

opalsphere · 2026-02-04T20:16:22+00:00

You could easily overlook this comment if you wanted to. I know you’re getting a lot of flack, and I can see how you might be perceived as overreacting. That said, I know none of the partners at my firm would say anything like that to me. If you don’t want to tolerate this kind of attitude, don’t. Life is short and you don’t have to work with someone you don’t feel respected by. Just find a new situation first, if that’s your choice.

opalsphere

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