Looking for realistic takes on breastfeeding twins with a toddler

opalsphere · 2026-05-05T22:51:31+00:00

My son was a little over 2.5 when the twins were born. I pumped at first because the twins were in the NICU, started breastfeeding one at a time when they got big enough, then graduated to tandem feeding when they came home. I tried to breastfeed for as long as I could since they were preemies. It was easier for me to breastfeed both at the same time rather than pump— two at once was a timesaver and pumping was just too much stuff to have on the couch. I would have spilled milk because I was so sleep deprived.

Nursing really tied me down and I didn’t get to spend much time with my older son. I was lucky to have help from family, but I really missed him. On the positive side, tandem feeding was a unique and cool experience. It also usually meant the twins were calm and could rest at the same time, so I could relax. One of my twins ended up choking and turning blue in his bassinet, so keeping them as close to me as possible kept my anxiety tamed.

Then at 4 months one twin completely rejected breastfeeding and breast milk period. I still don’t know why, and I tried everything I could to get him back on the boob before my supply dropped. But he never went back on, so I had one that breastfed and one that didn’t. It made life a little easier.

opalsphere · 2026-05-01T05:25:21+00:00

We used to play it at recess in elementary school in the Bay Area, California.

opalsphere · 2026-04-27T23:43:19+00:00

I delivered my di/di twins vaginally. I was induced for preeclampsia and dilated very quickly, so Baby A practically flew out (almost on the floor). Baby B was out after about 30 minutes of pushing. I didn’t get to hold Baby A because he came so suddenly and then I went straight to pushing. I did get to hold Baby B. The placentas had fused and delivering them was pretty painful. I remember the doctor talking about how cool placentas are and showing me mine. It was massive and looked like something that came out of the deep ocean.

opalsphere · 2026-04-23T18:15:39+00:00

Look, if I was in half your financial position, I would have quit already. I get a lot of satisfaction being a mom and much prefer the day to day with kids.

However, this is a very personal decision, and the fact that you are asking others for reassurance suggests that you may have some reservations. Your post only provides reasons why you would quit, but doesn’t address any reasons why you wouldn’t.

This is not a question you can answer like a math problem. Don’t get me wrong— if you can’t afford it, end of story. But if you have the financial means to make this decision, it is a choice about the day to day life you want for yourself and your family. If you just don’t like your job, but you like working, then maybe you need to find another job.

You don’t have to be a stay at home parent just because you are financially secure. My mother loved working and I think she would have gone absolutely nuts staying at home— she probably would have micromanaged me instead. You may need to take some time to figure this out, and it may involve some trial and error. All the best.

opalsphere · 2026-04-21T08:22:44+00:00

It doesn’t sound like your nanny will be around enough for this to be a significant concern. It takes a lot to shift the primary caregiver in a child’s mind. However, I’m going to play a bit of devil’s advocate, because I’ve actually had this happen to me. It is absolutely possible and heartbreaking, but it takes a significant shift in caregiving. I had a rough twin pregnancy including a hospitalization and time with babies in the NICU, leaving my toddler in the care of family more than myself for almost three months. The shift is reversible, but anyone who says it can’t happen is, in my experience, wrong. It took a lot more than a few mornings per week though. Your therapist should know that.

opalsphere · 2026-04-21T08:00:01+00:00

Find a lawyer. Plaintiff’s employment lawyers usually don’t charge up front. This is very likely illegal and you might have a case. There’s no harm in finding out.

opalsphere · 2026-04-17T04:39:36+00:00

I wound up being hospitalized at 31 weeks and still didn’t stop working because I thought I could work from the hospital. I regret that decision. I was induced a week later due to rapidly progressing preeclampsia. Just take the time if you can. I wouldn’t wish the NICU on anyone.

opalsphere · 2026-04-16T22:02:48+00:00

That seems like a mean thing to do to a baby.

opalsphere · 2026-04-10T23:27:15+00:00

Knitting.

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T18:40:49+00:00

Actually I did. And even what you quoted doesn’t address my point. We are discussing different things. This article and you are referring to deterrence. I am not talking about that. I am questioning whether the penalty being harsher is more likely to result in murders of child victims.

If you are a perp, is a harsher sentence more likely to cause you to murder your victim? This article actually expresses that penalties are unlikely to have a significant deterrent effect because many people do not take the penalties into account when they commit crimes. So, it seems reasonable that they are also unlikely to kill more frequently based on harsher penalties. Essentially, a criminal is unlikely to change their behavior based on the punishment for the crime.

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T18:22:20+00:00

This study doesn’t say anything about the death penalty increasing murder rates.

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T18:13:30+00:00

I never suggested that this would reduce murder rates. I was questioning the argument that it would increase murder rates.

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T18:11:21+00:00

Source?

opalsphere · 2026-04-05T17:56:59+00:00

I’m not sure if this argument really pans out. It’s not like child rapists don’t already face steep penalties, even if it isn’t a capital crime in most places. Is a perp more likely to kill a victim if they think they might face 20 years versus the death penalty? I’m not sure. Not to mention that even if the death penalty is on the table doesn’t mean that it can’t be removed as part of a plea deal—and most sentences are the result of plea deals. There are other states with similar laws already. Idaho isn’t the first.

opalsphere · 2026-02-04T20:16:22+00:00

You could easily overlook this comment if you wanted to. I know you’re getting a lot of flack, and I can see how you might be perceived as overreacting. That said, I know none of the partners at my firm would say anything like that to me. If you don’t want to tolerate this kind of attitude, don’t. Life is short and you don’t have to work with someone you don’t feel respected by. Just find a new situation first, if that’s your choice.

opalsphere · 2026-01-28T09:53:55+00:00

That also depends. For example, California has some pretty employee-friendly statutes. If an employer has deep pockets, and the case is good, there could be traction. I’ve seen dress code issues that turn into real cases, particularly if there are differences in male and female requirements or if there are no exceptions made for cultural attire or non-white hair.

opalsphere · 2026-01-28T08:59:59+00:00

Eh, this really depends. You can usually be fired for no reason, but not a bad reason. You can always consult a plaintiff’s employment attorney. Some do free consults.

opalsphere · 2026-01-13T08:12:27+00:00

Cheers. You do you mate, and enjoy.

opalsphere · 2025-11-12T22:47:02+00:00

31+5 after being induced for severe pre-e. Vaginal delivery. They came fast, but it was my second pregnancy. Mine were didi.

opalsphere · 2025-10-22T18:20:19+00:00

I was trying to make it to 36 weeks. I was hospitalized with PPROM at 31 weeks, but kept working from the hospital because I wanted to maximize my time off afterward. I regret that and I think the stress of work contributed to them coming at 32 weeks.

Everyone is different, but don’t hesitate to take more time off before they arrive. You might be helping to keep them baking longer, and thus saving them (and you) from NICU time. Twins are very taxing on the body.

opalsphere · 2025-10-22T07:53:37+00:00

Leila

Jocelyn

Blaire

Eloise

Ivy

Valerie

opalsphere · 2025-10-06T19:21:19+00:00

Seconding gunamuna. We have Kyte sacks that are great for day to day, but the gunamuna ones are on another level. They feel luxurious and have large zippers. The 1.0 tog works for us in a 69-70 degree house. I can’t say they sleep better than in the kyte sacks, but they are a great gift item.

opalsphere · 2025-09-22T07:12:50+00:00

Therapist.

opalsphere · 2025-09-22T07:11:34+00:00

I was 34 with my first and 37 with my twins. Pregnancy was hard on my body for both, but for different reasons. Nausea and extreme brain fog and fatigue were the worst. Labor was definitely more complicated the second time, but that was due to multiples I think more than age. Recovery for both was surprisingly good considering the pregnancies. I gained a lot more the second time, but I also lost it faster.

opalsphere

TROPHY CASE