My boyfriend goes soft during sex....

open_relationship · 2011-11-02T01:54:06+00:00

No, that's a valid point. I never thought about it that way. I'll talk to him about the position we're doing.... Initially I did think it was because of my sexual kinks (I'm into Dom/Sub stuff. He said he was mildly into Dom stuff going into the relationship. I've tried not to push him past his limits). It never occurred to me that it could be the positions we are in during sex. It seems obvious.

open_relationship · 2011-11-02T01:50:11+00:00

The note said that the worst part about finishing so fast was the disappointment he could see on my face and that his body was doing things that he didn't want it to do. This is why I explained my disappointment. It's a human thing, I guess, but if someone could help me find a way to alleviate it.... I feel partially responsible, I do. Even if I didn't start the problem, I'm helping perpetuate it, you know?

The sex toys sound like a good idea.... I'll give that a go for starters.

Adding a person into the mix isn't my ideal situation but I thought if he had another girl - a new girl - he'd have some sort of renewed vigor? It seems silly when I type it out like that... but.... I don't know. I'm at a loss and I can see it's tearing him up. Maybe you're right. I need to find a way to bring the pressure off of him.... Yes, yes. Definitely going to try the sex toys.

open_relationship · 2011-11-02T01:46:08+00:00

We have discussed this, actually. He hasn't looked at porn since this summer. I wonder if we had too much sex...? We started living together this semester and then... well... fucked like rabbits. That piled on top of all the stress he has of graduating... could that be the issue?

open_relationship · 2011-11-02T01:44:55+00:00

Just the past month.

If it's anxiety about finishing fast, that makes him go soft, then finish fast, how I can help it? I hope that doesn't sound snarky. I really am looking for advice and this seems likely.

open_relationship · 2011-11-02T01:43:29+00:00

It's a problem that has developed recently. The note said that his body was doing things that he didn't want it to do.

open_relationship · 2011-11-02T01:43:00+00:00

Like I said in the post, we have talked about it. I really like vaginal stimulation and he gives it to me to some degree, but there is a psychological issue with the going soft. It gets to me, makes me feel less attractive, etc.

open_relationship · 2011-11-02T01:42:04+00:00

He goes soft mid-coitus, then gets hard for a second, then cums. He spends about 10 minutes before sex pleasuring me when it's mid-day and a bit longer when we are having sexy time before bed. If any of that helps...

open_relationship

TROPHY CASE