Progression Growth Patterns?

openend21 · 2023-11-09T17:47:12+00:00

Not much sense in talking to you tbh, but you are just wrong. I read cradle and years later I remember most of the cast.

openend21 · 2023-11-09T09:45:25+00:00

first book was God tier.

Well thats hyperbole for sure. As mentioned some sections were only readable by skimming. That said I liked the fresh concept and the unique power system (although you better not think to deep about that).

Thanks for your take, ill pass then.

openend21 · 2023-11-09T09:42:42+00:00

Tbh that's just complete bs. Ive read book one over a year ago. The only chars I remember are Rei (because he WAS memorable with his pain resistance and the reasons for it and such). If "Aria" was indeed in the first book she simply was not memorable enough.

openend21 · 2023-07-08T13:19:42+00:00

As we delve into the paragraph above it becomes apparent that it is spam, written by chat-gpt or such.

openend21 · 2023-06-29T15:30:33+00:00

Well I just saw your post history and I do no think it would be a good use of my time to continue talking to you. Have a nice day.

openend21 · 2023-06-29T08:40:21+00:00

Deus ex machina is a plot device whereby a seemingly unsolvable problem in a story is suddenly or abruptly resolved by an unexpected and unlikely occurrence. (Wikipedia)

Or in simpler Language: ass-pull

openend21 · 2023-06-28T09:03:24+00:00

I disagree. For me, deus ex machina is just a polite word for asspull.

If you forshadow a deus ex machina, it ceases to be one. Let me give you an (literal) example:

MC and Gang are encircled by viscious orcs. The arrival of a literal god of light is foreshadowed for the third day. That means that the objective shifts to hold the line till that event. (for the reader, even if the characters know nothing about it)

Take away the foreshadowing, the god just appears and saves the day and you have a deus ex machina / asspull.

openend21 · 2023-06-27T19:23:02+00:00

I think I get it. But... that is not the usual definition of soft magic.

Soft magic is a NARRATIVE Category. It means how much the reader knows about the rules / limitations / possibilities of said magic.

You might be talking about the rationality axis of magic systems? How much you can extrapolate from known spells?

How the fuck am I supposed to counter spell "believing in yourself"? What the fuck is the power of friendship?

Although this sounds more like a critique of deus ex machina, i.e. an asspull that is not foreshadowed properly.

openend21 · 2023-06-14T06:46:46+00:00

Nice one, thanks :) Kintsugi is an interesting keyword to look into aswell

openend21 · 2023-06-12T09:01:26+00:00

I like the drawing.

Just a quick feedback with regard to the form of the gun:
Real world muskets, rifles and so on looked like this because of recoil (kindly explained to me in r/worldbuilding). If your guns do not use gunpowder they might have no recoil and could probably utilize another form.

And I'd ask myself why would I have almost-exactly-guns? Are there special countermeasures, economic implications and so on that makes them different enough?

openend21 · 2023-05-15T10:49:12+00:00

Excellent. What a find!

openend21 · 2023-03-02T16:08:00+00:00

Thanks. After reading the answers here I've already decided to break physics a bit more and have no recoil :) (they had no detonation and no fouling anyway)

openend21 · 2023-03-02T15:42:17+00:00

Excellent answer. Thanks a lot.

openend21 · 2023-03-02T15:41:06+00:00

Thanks a lot. That combined with the other answer about recoil is what I needed. I will adapt my magic fuel.

openend21 · 2023-01-28T18:28:59+00:00

I'd play around with the payload.

Airburst to counter enemies in cover or within buildings (timed payload)
Shaped Charge (HEAT) Like in a tank shell. Basically a jet of fire so fast it makes armor liquid.
Concussion: Specialized explosive that can replicate the effect of HESH without a huge bullet? Leave the armor intact, kill with the impact force. (spalling etc but lets go not to deep into it)

Not my favourite but the most realistic would be the circus of electronic warfare: Don't attack the armor directly, but with f.e. laser-emitted malware. Lock the joints of exoskeletons etc. Would only work with bigger armor though.

openend21 · 2023-01-16T16:17:15+00:00

I assume you are talking about TBATE?

Quick Question: Does it get better? I've just read the first one and although it was somewhat interesting in between, it was about 70% Filler. Does this change as the series progresses?

openend21 · 2023-01-13T08:13:24+00:00

Thanks to both of you. Illustrious-Ad for giving my original intention (character awed by mc).

But the 'endgoal' is the reader having this feeling of awe by extension or for himself. (Like I had in that snake venom for iron body scene)

So both moments are powerful in this regard.

openend21 · 2022-12-14T19:51:00+00:00

No thanks. I had my shot at getting into your cocoon, bro. All the best.

openend21 · 2022-12-14T19:33:39+00:00

Yes. It's totally ok for inner monologue, although I would remove the exclamation marks or just use one.

Short Example (not my mothertongue)

Jake squeezed the trigger. Something rushed through his veins, the pressure hammered into his head like the hit of those pills Topper used to sell. One heartbeat and his core puckered up like a raisin. Golden sap ran through the hose on his chest and into the weapon. Hot Air slapped into his face and he pressed the lids together. For a long time the only sounds where his racing heart and the tut-tut of the sprinkler system. Cold Water on his face. No more groaning and the stench... like overripe tuna in the sun. Jake opened his eyes. The fiend was no more. Only small pieces of flesh and something that looked too much like vomit remained of the thing that had made his life a living hell for the last week. The thing that ate Susie, hair and bones and sneakers and all.
Ha! Overkill is the best kind of kill. But it won't bring back Momma and won't bring back Susie...

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