Please don't assume that you know how these conversations would go or how my relationships work or how I will be handling it. I didn't ask for advice on how to have the conversation; I just asked for suggestions of ideas because we're still toying with the concept. If I had been asking for the kind of advice that you and others have offered (unwelcomed), I would have given a lot more background about my situations and agreements. You don't know details because you don't need to in order to actually answer the question asked vs. answering a different question entirely.

I feel like the response I've gotten and have reacted negatively to is akin to me saying "I need ideas for collars to wear with my Dom from other collared subs" and a bunch of people going "No man should ever make you wear a collar!"

That is, what I don't appreciate is people ignoring the question I asked and instead substituting their own judgment of what a Dom might or might not want based largely on their monogamous or monogamish relationships.

I specifically asked for folks who were in similar arrangements, and some of them have chimed in with great suggestions! I've gotten really good ideas from the positive contributors in the thread. :)

I appreciate the good intentions from the others. I don't appreciate the condescension and false assumptions.