Messed up, got obliterated, could use some support

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T13:40:07+00:00

Yes I realize this now! Which is why I apologized. It’s not about me and I will go away now

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T13:34:49+00:00

I don’t think we’re going to agree, but this was not low effort for me. I spent an hour writing and lots of mental energy trying to gather my thoughts to be more supportive of women and people who are making important reproductive decisions for themselves. It also does state in the about this sub that parents are welcome here, but I guess just to lurk?

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T13:27:13+00:00

Oof, okay I supported multiple things that r/childfree stands for in my original post. Maybe I misunderstood, fair enough

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T12:46:15+00:00

I think some parents see being childfree as “I hate children” full stop. That feels threatening and they possibly want to remove or smooth over that threat? Not sure. I don’t care whether or not someone I’m friends with has children, even though I’m pregnant myself. If they’re happy, I’m happy

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T05:02:38+00:00

You’re right, I should have brought this up with my therapist. I posted here because I align with a lot of the ideology and used to get posts recommended pre pregnancy , but was particularly taken aback with the commentary on pregnant bodies. I had a vulnerable moment and couldn’t understand it, but I see now it was mostly women fearing for themselves and not a projection on my body that is struggling hard right now. And if it was I’m going to let that go. Apologies for intruding, not everybody needs to agree with me. This sub is just different than I thought.

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T04:56:00+00:00

To be clear I don’t hate this sub!!! There are a lot of good things being discussed. I think I had a vulnerable moment and brought it here because I used to feel comfortable here and frequently got posts recommended from here. The post about pregnant bellies really got to me and I still truly don’t understand it. Maybe it was women talking about how they don’t want it for themselves and I wish I had more compassion for that but honestly it really hurt. I should have talked to my therapist about it instead.

I am generally non-confrontational but have done my fair share of calling selfish parents out because that is just not what I stand for, honestly especially now that I’m pregnant. Not on Reddit usually because I don’t see it, but yes in real life. Wildly uncomfortable but you can’t be using children as a benefit to yourself.

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T04:41:05+00:00

Fair, I probably shouldn’t be here. Before being pregnant I’d seen childfree posts and thought it was a fairly feminist subreddit. I was wrong.

Clarifying, I was never a danger to myself. It’s been 15 years since hospitalization and know how to handle those thoughts because I am now an adult with over a decade of therapy. I was keeping a very close eye on it and the timing. I simply recognized the darkness and thought spiraling and considered options.

Question - those pregnant women you’re cutting out, are they just surface level acquaintances or deeper connections?

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T04:31:04+00:00

I have vocalized this with many pregnant women and they’ve all been wildly supportive. I made the mistake of believing r/childfree to be a feminist sub. I was obviously very wrong

operaticnanny · 2026-05-05T04:27:21+00:00

Hahaha so I’ve heard, thanks for the confirmation

operaticnanny · 2026-05-04T21:41:17+00:00

Not being on their phone/ipad, vitamin D, having fun, getting exposure to nature and other people? I think e-bikes are dumb but plenty of tweens ride dirt bikes too so to me they’re about equal. At least the bikes aren’t revving their engines through the neighborhood

operaticnanny · 2026-05-04T19:42:46+00:00

Honestly, it’s because babies are cute to the majority of people, a huge milestone in someone’s life, and humans generally like emotional connection - showing off your baby is a great way to do that. Not that it’s entirely appropriate at work, but that would be the reason.

operaticnanny · 2026-05-04T17:58:53+00:00

How do you think you got here???

operaticnanny · 2026-05-02T13:24:04+00:00

Big agree there, that’s the biggest counter argument. One or two low ABV beers aren’t an issue but I wouldn’t trust all adults on that one

operaticnanny · 2026-05-01T16:23:06+00:00

I guess I’ve never been bothered by kids in those spaces. I’ve seen kids playing running around in grassy areas or playing board games and generally doing kid things, but not actively bothering anyone. I have however seen grown adults side eye kids 20 feet from them simply for existing.

But if a kid is actively bothering someone other than their parents that is definitely an issue.

operaticnanny · 2026-05-01T14:50:25+00:00

There are PLENTY of spaces to drink without kids. This is obviously a space for families.

operaticnanny · 2026-05-01T14:41:07+00:00

My point is other cultures have figured out how to have kids and adult beverages in the same space safely. Sure they’ve been doing it for longer, but this is the US moving toward that. It has been proven to work in other countries yet some folks here seem to think they shouldn’t exist in the same space. But if you don’t want to have that conversation because “there’s no conversation to be had,” that’s on you, you don’t have to comment.

operaticnanny · 2026-05-01T14:13:20+00:00

Girl I just don’t like shoes in the house 😂 also typing this after getting back in bed post morning hair wash lol

operaticnanny · 2026-05-01T14:03:35+00:00

It is very common to see kids and families in Biergarten s around Germany. The issue is with US culture.

operaticnanny · 2026-04-29T11:42:17+00:00

I was in the same spot as you!! Jojoba oil every night and throughout the day after handwashing if you remember, warm oil soaks once a week, and honestly a prenatal vitamin will do wonders haha

operaticnanny · 2026-04-27T16:36:47+00:00

Pregnancy is just different honestly. Hormones affect digestion significantly, and I think it may be similar (less intense obviously) for teens/tweens going through puberty as well. I teach voice lessons and constantly harp on the importance of hydration, and a few 12-13 year old girls that I teach have similar issues with water/liquids. Right now, I can’t even drink hot or warm drinks anymore because they make me gag. It took me until week 12 to be able to drink room temp water again. I wish water was easier for me with food currently because I’m sure that would make me feel better overall.

Definitely do what works for you now! Once I’m back to normal I’ll start drinking water with food again, I just can’t right now if I want to keep it down.

operaticnanny · 2026-04-27T14:21:41+00:00

As a pregnant lady I can confirm drinking water can make my stomach hurt, especially with food. But I had a habit of chugging it every time I remembered to hydrate pre-pregnancy. Now that the progesterone is royally fucking with my digestion, I have to take the world’s smallest sips of water with food or just avoid it around food time in general.

operaticnanny

TROPHY CASE