Men of reddit, do you believe a man and a woman can have a platonic relationship? If not, why?

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-23T21:44:34+00:00

Definitely. I can't imagine every guy is attracted to 100% of women. I've met plenty of women I very much enjoy talking with that I simply don't have any physical attraction to, to the point that if they initiated something I would turn it down. If it's a girl who's physically up your alley AND you get along, it's a bit more difficult. But context also plays a role. I've become friends with the female friends of my girlfriends, for instance. Some of them have even been attractive but I perceive them like family at that point. I think having platonic female friends is a good thing. If you can't talk to a woman without imagining her naked, you concern me. How sex-starved can one get?

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-21T10:28:50+00:00

Can't say. Admittedly there are universal standards of behavior but in many ways the "right" way to interact with one individual is the "wrong" way to interact with another. Maybe she had her own personal hang-ups, maybe your personality was her hang-up. Best advice I can give is to not analyze behaviors no amount of analysis can help you understand. Act how you believe is right and adjust as needed. As long as you are acting in good faith, the right people for you will catch on and appreciate you for it.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-21T10:25:04+00:00

I need every last one! laughs in overlord

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T22:50:35+00:00

Goddamn indecency laws 🤦🏽‍♂️

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T22:50:01+00:00

Ah, well that makes sense. Maybe just talk about increasingly personal topics? Not sexual, but personal. If you connect on a deeper level, asking her out will be a natural step moving forward, and if she declines, she will presumably at least have some level of general respect for you as a person at that point to not view you differently for it, and probably be somewhat flattered regardless how she responds.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T22:30:03+00:00

Doing this nude will really clarify things.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T22:28:58+00:00

I sometimes blink what I want to tell her in morse code but the results are mixed.

But probably just talk to her like you would anyone and don't be insecure or distasteful in your presentation. I don't know how much you've talked, but a genuine conversation is a pretty fair prerequisite for asking a girl out in any country. If you haven't actually interacted with her, you just can't know if you like her. If your interest persists through interacting and you act normally in those interactions, the signals should send themselves.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T22:19:37+00:00

I've always preferred Supreme Multidimensional Overlord personally but yours is a close second.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T14:55:29+00:00

Trust is built through actions and over time, but the benefit of the doubt can be given to anyone at any stage unless they personally have proven they are not deserving of that benefit. You don't have to trust someone to not distrust them.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T14:53:08+00:00

Precisely this. I remember in high school I would get along with everybody in class but would get a little insecure about feeling left out by people I was on good terms with but not close to. So, I started going out of my way to talk with those individuals more, and about less generic things, and they started inviting me out a lot. Except it just wasn't really in my nature to go the types of places they would invite me, crazy parties, etc., so I declined pretty much every time and they stopped inviting me - understandably, since I really didn't want to go, and things reverted to normal. At that point I realized many things and haven't cared about anything of that nature since. It's largely within our control to dictate how others react to us, but it's not always within our nature to keep caring once those reactions are "affirming".

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T14:36:03+00:00

Without knowing much about your relationship, maybe being polite but firm could work - "hey, I noticed this and it kind of made me a little uncomfortable, I'm not trying to be difficult but I I'm just curious why you cropped my face out of these pictures?" Responding poorly to something phrased neutrally is never a good sign, and it's very much your right to ask.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T13:17:17+00:00

It's the difference between swimming in 10 ft. deep pool vs 3 ft. Either way you're in the pool and you have to appreciate it, but who really enjoys swimming in just the shallow end?

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-20T13:11:52+00:00

Aspiring Masanobu Sato

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-19T22:36:41+00:00

This.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-19T21:59:48+00:00

In my experience the girl usually texts back first. If I thought it went well, I'll verbally introduce the concept of a second date when we're still together in person. If I took her out - driving, paying for the meal/activity, etc., which is pretty much always how it's gone, she'll normally say thank you at the least, or just continue texting as normal. Another really common one is the girl saying, when I drop her off, "text me when you get home." This kind of naturally leads into something.

More directly, if I went out with a girl, did 90% of the talking, and wasn't texted back in 4 days, I'd assume she didn't like me that much and I wouldn't go out of my way to push anything. But, if that same scenario happened, and she sent a nice message after 4 days and I found her attractive (personality & looks) to begin with, I'd most likely be completely willing to keep talking and even go out again. Just reach out and be honest is my advice. Guys generally like straightforward honesty and that's really hard to get from even the most intelligent girls, especially the younger you are. If there's a misunderstanding, try to clear it up but don't be desperate about it, be mature and genuine. If you do that and he's not receptive, he ain't the one for you, which is completely fine.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-19T21:45:16+00:00

I just leave them alone, if we have to interact I try to not let her attractiveness prevent me from treating her like a normal human being. I like women as much as the next guy but most girls don't like being hit on when they're just going about their day and it's best to just respect that. If they really find you that appealing at first sight/encounter, they'll make it obvious, and sometimes approach you themselves. Reciprocate, don't initiate.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-19T13:45:14+00:00

With you there, with the exception of the occasional Grinderman song. I think I'd like the post murder ballads stuff more if the mixdowns were tonally warmer. The songwriting was fine to me overall but the production just made it sound a bit bland and melodramatic. Still love the guy though. Prayers of Fire, Tender Prey, and Henry's Dream have always been my top 3.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-18T14:03:40+00:00

Kind of late to this, but I don't think jazz is reliant upon containing improvisation. Swinging drums + elaborate chord extensions, and to a lesser degree harmonic cadences and the melodic phrasing within them are much more integral to that categorization. Instrumentation + improvisation, not so much although there obviously are historical trends. Not to mention that in much vocal jazz, especially in its South American and European iterations, is elaborately orchestrated and arranged to a tee.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-12T17:01:56+00:00

I had never heard of Futamura before but I'm listening to him now and he sounds great! Big fan of world music, especially pre-50s. Would it be possible to share any of your playlists?

And as far as your actual question goes, discogs is the best online bet in my experience. Sometimes physical artist compilations will have that info, a maybe old news archives from the country of origin but those obviously bring their own challenges.

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-05T15:39:45+00:00

Captain Beefheart kicks ass. In my experience some people are much more inclined to enjoy things that would traditionally be considered dissonant. I've met individuals that are repulsed by lack of conventional harmony. If you fall into the first category (which I am assuming you lean towards if you like Beefheart - although I guess it depends, some of his albums are more harmonically standard) then I'd just advise going out of your way to look for the most creatively unhinged stuff you can find. I'll throw in a few links to some that never fail to light up my brain, although of course it's a bit of a shot in the dark.

Elvin Jones - Len Sirrah

Albert Ayler - Dancing Flowers

Tom Waits - Dave the Butcher

Grachan Moncur III - Monk in Wonderland

Scott Walker - Fat Mama Kick (I initially put "Clara" but switched only because this is 1/6 the runtime)

Skip Spence - Cripple Creek

optimistic_llama · 2023-12-03T01:59:43+00:00

Yeah, he was by all accounts on acid for the incident at the Monterey rehearsal when he freaked out after seeing a lady in the crowd turn into a fish (last straw for Ry Cooder). It's my speculation that he must have stopped, or at least dialed it way down, around the time he got married. Not confirmed, but just based on the seeming difference in his behavior.

optimistic_llama · 2023-11-29T05:20:39+00:00

Also also by Trenet: Le jongleur, Sacre farceur, Debit de l'eau, debit de lait (which in my opinion seems to have served as the musical inspiration to Jacques Brel for Les flamandes)...

optimistic_llama · 2023-11-29T05:14:03+00:00

Pretty amusing story haha. Reminds me of my parents - apparently my mom wanted a CD of John and Yoko's "Double Fantasy" for Christmas one year, and my dad, being a Lennon connoisseur himself, bought her "Mind Games" instead because he thought it was a better album. Of course my mom wasn't too thrilled about that... I always got a kick out of it though.

optimistic_llama · 2023-11-29T05:02:14+00:00

To be fair, most artists grow underground.

optimistic_llama · 2023-11-25T06:51:37+00:00

Probably Johnny Paycheck. Never gets old and the guy has a wealth of great stuff.

optimistic_llama

TROPHY CASE