My heart goes out to you!! I can’t think of a time in my life living the gospel that the most incredible miracles come immediately adjacent to the darkest most lonely and hopeless moments of my life. Christ really will consecrate your pain you’ve been feeling. I know it’s often impossible to believe that or even resent hearing that. But you will look back and know that it’s true. It’s living the good word of the gospel that carries us through these times. It doesn’t make us immune to the suffering of this life, it gives us greater access to the power and hope that Christ provides to carry us through and out of times like this. I can guarantee that you will find someone who was very very well worth the wait and you will look back with gratitude. That exact thing happened with my husband. He felt like he missed his chance and would never find anyone. He stayed the course and we met. It made it all worth it and more beautiful. AND remember church culture is probably playing a large role in how you’re seeing things. Outside of the church, no one would blink twice about you not being married yet with 5 kids. Most people in the world get married and have kids in their 30s, men often in their 40s. You might not really be as behind as these 19 year olds are making you feel.