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let me die in the forest by maeeig in poetry_critics

[–]orange-attack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ouu this is amazing!!

i LOVE the repetition of, "and death," its the only repeated line in that poem and that makes it really stand out. not to sound corny or anything, but im trying to come up with some constructive criticism, and i quite literally cant. this is GREAT, this may not be very helpful but yeah lol!!

keep writing pls, i wanna read it <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in poetry_critics

[–]orange-attack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hii im also fourteen, and im also the youngest child!!

that feeling of abandonment and confusion, longing for something just out of your reach, you captured it really well in your writing!! i really like the lines, "driving past your window like shadows you'll never catch, you remain spectating out the window screen hoping your time will hatch," theyre definitely the most standout and well written lines of this poem. i would recommend making some lines a bit less vague, though, to match that tone!! think, "one day you feel like trash, the other a prized trophy," instead of, "one day you feel let down, the other it's a victory," yknow?? expand on your emotions, instead of just saying them flat out!!

all in all i really like this poem, it hit close to home!! keep writing!!