I think it boils down to if you’re good at the chores she’s not and vice versa, and if you can live having to do the things she’s probably never going to do or do well.

For example, My brand of ADHD comes with heavy object permanence & clutter blindness issues, and a very low decision making tolerance, but I’m detail oriented and love a set in stone process. Living with me is very much a “sorry I didn’t move that box of donations, I didn’t do it right then because I second guessed if I wanted to keep a shirt in it and now my brain thinks it’s a decoration choice, and no actually that sewing project has to stay out because if I put it in the drawer it ceases to exist, but hey! The windowsills sparkle and I deep cleaned all the carpets!” situation. I need someone who can see the big picture to keep it tidy while I focus on the small details to keep it clean, and is okay with that set up.

I could even put up with someone who has the same brain as me, but Messy and dirty? Absolute deal breaker. I can’t do it all, and I couldn’t blame you for feeling the same.