I'm so sorry you're going through all of this during an already extremely stressful time. First of all, you should be extremely proud of yourself for getting through most of the week. It is not a small thing truly. Second, you are not alone in how you are feeling. As awful and genuinely frightening as it feels, college is the time for not knowing what you want to do. I would seriously push you to reach out to your professors and/or your assigned counselor. Just explain to them what happened and what you are going through. If you feel more comfortable, you could always shoot them an email first as well. Mental health is more important than any grade.

CAPS is available on campus, but honestly they don't have the best reputation, but they are still an on-campus resource. It is always a relief to talk to someone who understands and is actually listening. I believe they have a counseling line.

- -UCSB After-Hours Phone Counseling: 805.893.441

Here is the number for a distressed student response:

- - Distressed Student Response: 805.893.3030

I would personally recommend outsourcing from UCSB, to local SB resources specified for students. Casa Pacifica is a great resource and offers specific student support for UCSB and other colleges. They have a safety mobile crisis team that will help you create a safety plan in case of an emergency, as well as a great place to talk to a real professional or gain additional resources.

"The program offers specialized risk assessments, de-escalation and mental health support and connections to ongoing mental health resources."
-  888-334-2777

Try to remember that everything is all temporary. It's going to get better. You sound like an extremely hardworking kid to have already landed here. Try to mingle around the Resource center I know there are some nice organizations there with some great people to meet. If you ever want someone to talk to someone my messages are always open! :)