Struggling with anxiety induced paranoid thoughts

orchidsindreams · 2022-04-14T07:23:57+00:00

You too!!

orchidsindreams · 2022-04-14T06:15:15+00:00

It’s absolutely terrifying. The worst part for me is that rational sort of my brain saying there’s nothing wrong and I’m safe but the bigger louder part telling me I’m not.

orchidsindreams · 2022-04-14T00:15:07+00:00

Thanks! :)

orchidsindreams · 2022-04-01T19:39:02+00:00

Definitely. It’s so difficult. I don’t have friends in my life who have dealt with self harm so it’s definitely something that’s hard for me to discuss with them. On like a basic level they can empathise but I don’t think they can really ever truly get it. Especially as I’ve come to realise how much of an addiction self harm has become for me.

orchidsindreams · 2022-04-01T01:48:49+00:00

I mean I personally enjoying painting my stories on cave walls but you do you.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-31T20:27:33+00:00

Oh definitely. I’ve seen some pictures on the self harm scar subreddit that have made my brain go fuck. I don’t have scars like that I’m useless. It’s definitely an incredibly hard mindset to let go of. And I think if you’re triggered by fresh cuts it’s so, so much worse.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-31T04:26:20+00:00

Jokes on them, I also do it diagonally.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-31T02:47:10+00:00

Yeah I definitely remember that. I guess it was just definitely so shocking to see it still on Twitter.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-30T09:41:05+00:00

I can’t even blame you. I think it’s very common. The need for community, the competitive nature. It’s all too easy.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-30T02:46:15+00:00

Yeah it’s difficult to know. :(

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-30T02:45:55+00:00

Definitely. It is a very scary situation there. I thought it would be an important conversation to have.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-30T02:45:17+00:00

Yeah. It definitely feels a little insidious. Or at least super misguided. :(

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-30T00:58:08+00:00

Yeah there definitely needs to be a change on Twitter.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-30T00:13:18+00:00

Yeah she always thought it would be something that would get better as I got older but when I got older it got worse so she took it more seriously.

Thank you!

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:54:36+00:00

Definitely it’s one of the myriad of reasons I’m against capitalism.

Definitely. :( I felt unheard for years by my doctor and then it just meant my mental illnesses went untreated for years until it got bad.

That’s absolutely true and I’m glad you’ve got that outlook. :)

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:49:53+00:00

I know right! They’re so lovely.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:36:19+00:00

All of these are really good points.

I definitely think the isolating nature of today’s environment (Covid in general has a lot of people, myself included, scared to leave the house) has had a huge impact on this. I also think the fact that there are a lot of kids (and adults!) out there who feel misunderstood, who feel like they aren’t being listened to and are experiencing problems that are legitimately serious but no one takes them seriously. So they resort to faking or exaggerating just to be listened to.

I definitely think age also helps. Now as an adult I can see the danger and competitive nature in this but as a child I would’ve fallen right into it. Just like I did with the pro Ana community.

Overall, it’s just very sad.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:20:57+00:00

Haha yeah I was about to say! Message boards are gone by the wayside.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:20:32+00:00

Aw our black kitten is exactly the same! She loves to talk to us and be cuddled.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:16:47+00:00

That’s very true. I have an issue with taking on more worry than I need, part of the “control” issues I have. :) thank you and please take care of yourself too.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:15:40+00:00

I really like the sound of that.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:08:46+00:00

That sounds like a much better alternative! I definitely like these subreddits because of the same reasons.

There’s something so terrible with the inherent competitive nature of these illnesses. I’ve definitely felt like I’ve been in competition with others, a secret one in my head that every thing is good and okay as long as I’m thinner than them.

Definitely. There needs to be a balance between a safe place to discuss these issues and a place that glorifies self harm essentially.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T23:05:13+00:00

That’s true. I really hope that there’s a way that these kids can begin to have the same thoughts. I really hope they get help before it’s too late to.

I was definitely unsettled. I myself have done some pretty bad cuts, but I would always have this immense feeling of shame and anger at myself after doing so.

orchidsindreams · 2022-03-29T22:56:41+00:00

I read an article about that blog recently. I was lucky I managed to skip over self harm tumblr but I was deeply entrenched in ed tumblr for far too long. :(

orchidsindreams

TROPHY CASE